I finally worked it out.
We may never know for whom the Tells bowled.
It's called,Cash in the Addict.
Should have seen her face when I drove pasta
Sir Veyor
It’s known to run in jeans.
TNT. It's dino might.
in the end, he came around.
Their teacher
To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.
After he is revived the medics find out the last time he ate was at breakfast. They determine that he had a "failure to lunch."
'UPS Truck Shun of Justice'
Regardless if it Texas along time, Alaska.
But that's a whisk I'm willing to take.
His test-icles
I said “oh, well let me take one of those off your hands for you”
In chemistry you should never lick the spoon
But Maury Povich determined that I am not the father.
Because he had one tract mined.
You pull down it's genes
The coronar
D.
If she bites you, she's a female.
Use a Litness test.
There would be 10 but they lacked 8
❤❤❤ And you're priceless ❤❤❤
Motion censors
An engineer who was unemployed for a long time decided to open a medical clinic. He puts a sign outside the clinic: "A cure for your ailment guaranteed at $500; we'll pay you $1,000 if we fail."
A Doctor thinks this is a good opportunity to earn $1,000 and goes to his clinic.
Doctor: "I have lost my sense of taste."
Engineer: "Nurse, please bring the medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."
Doctor: "This is Gasoline!"
Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500."
The Doctor gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days later to recover his money.
Doctor: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."
Engineer: "Nurse, please bring the medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."
Doctor: "But that is Gasoline!"
Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500."
The Doctor leaves angrily and comes back after several days, more determined than ever to make his money back.
Doctor: "My eyesight has become weak."
Engineer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for this. Take this $1,000," passing the doctor a $500 note.
Doctor: "But this is $500..."
Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your vision back! That will be $500."
...I must determine if I’m Russian or Stalin.
He has a lot of daddycation
But I have learnt that through hard work and determination, anything is popsicle!
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
With the exposition.
I told him it takes hard work, determination, and grit.
I love that the real dad jokes are the dad's trying to make a second joke based on the post haha. None of them are funny, they're all dry as the Sahara Desert, but like all good dad's, they're determined to keep trying.
Keep it up you silly gooses!
All you need in a glass of water. If the ant sinks to the bottom it’s a girl ant. If it floats it’s a buoyant.
So he goes online to find someone to fix his fence for him but he is unsatisfied with their prices, that is until he finds a Buddhist monk who will do it for free.
He is initially surprised by this and assumes it might be a fake listing, but since it's free he feels like he has nothing to lose so he hires him.
Sure enough a few days later the monk shows up with a toolkit in hand, the man shows the monk that his fence has been ripped out of the ground and that he needs to replace it.
About an hour later the monk walks in and tells the man he is finished, and when the man goes outside he sees that the fence is perfect, thinking he can't just tell the monk to leave after doing such a great job for free he invites the monk inside for a cup of coffee.
The man then starts talking to the monk, "It surprised me to see a monk offering services for fence repair, why do you do it?" he asked.
The monk replied "religious reasons."
The man then says "I don't know much about Buddhism, but why do you need to repair fences?"
"Because" the monk replied, "You would be surprised at the amount of karma you get for reposting."
Towels.
Step 1. Throw it in the water.
Step 2. Observe.
If it sinks? Girl ant.
If it floats? Boy ant.
"Bullshit! I've been using that stuff for years and...(looks at 13" scar across his stomach from whipple procedure to remove tumors, looks back at family for effect) oh... shit..."
Never lost his great attitude towards life, family, and people in general. Always quick with a joke/dad joke until the end.
He was running a little behind.
(I believe this to be original; but I wasn't willing to risk searching for the key terms required to determine if someone else came up with it... apologies if I'm repeating a long ago joke)
For instance, metal-heads are pretty damn dense.
