Resolution Puns

A list of puns related to "Resolution"

My new year’s resolution was to read more

so.. i turned the subtitles on the tv!

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👤︎ u/Rainstorm_9000
📅︎ Jun 23
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My new year's resolution is to stay alive

It's a do or die

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👤︎ u/FlankyCranky
📅︎ May 22
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What did Master Yoda say when he first saw himself in 4k resolution?

HDMI

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👤︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
📅︎ Nov 29 2019
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My New Year's resolution is to save enough money to buy a Velcro wall.

And I plan on sticking to it!

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👤︎ u/Rav4xle
📅︎ May 29
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I've finally decided on my 2018 New Years resolution

My 2018 New Years resolution is to stop postponing things.

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👤︎ u/Lord_Double_D
📅︎ Apr 16
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If you got a 4k TV for Christmas, your New Year's resolution is 3840 x 2160.
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👤︎ u/StarkeStrawberry
📅︎ Jan 01
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So my new year resolution for 2020....

Is to see more clearly.

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👤︎ u/Codeman32456
📅︎ Dec 29 2019
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My New Years resolution for next year will be to finally get that laser eye surgery I’ve always wanted

It’s my 2020 vision

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👤︎ u/AnthMaster7
📅︎ Nov 24 2019
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Wanna know my New Year's Resolution?

1080p full HD.

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👤︎ u/NotoriousHothead37
📅︎ Jan 01
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I'm just about ready to start my new years resolution

To stop procrastinating.

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👤︎ u/1kings2214
📅︎ Jan 24
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My 2020 New Year's resolution is to finish my 2019 resolution. My goal was to lose 10 lbs.

Only 25 pounds to go!

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👤︎ u/Talon184
📅︎ Jan 02
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My New year's resolution is to save enough money to buy myself a Velcro wall.

I'm planning on sticking to it.

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👤︎ u/thegasketmaker
📅︎ Dec 31 2019
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My new year's resolution is the same for 2020 as it was in 2019

1080p

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👤︎ u/ThereCanBeOnly1Juan
📅︎ Dec 30 2019
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Yesterday, my mom didn’t expect that my dad’s new year’s resolution was to stop looking at other women’s breasts.

I guess hindsight is 2020

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👤︎ u/mega-yeet
📅︎ Jan 01
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New years resolution.

My new years resolution is to be more careful, or should I say, more janu-wary.

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👤︎ u/Tateyhead
📅︎ Dec 28 2019
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My New Years resolution this year is to save enough money to buy myself a Velcro wall.

I’m planning on sticking to it.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Nov 18 2019
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My wife told me to pick a bigger New year's resolution than "watch more sports on TV".

Unfortunately, our TV only does 1080p 60fps.

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👤︎ u/My_Name_O
📅︎ Dec 28 2019
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For 2020 my new years resolution is to think about my worst failures

because hindsight is 2020

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👤︎ u/tarqee223
📅︎ Dec 28 2019
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Someone: So what's your New Year's resolution?

Me: 1080p

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👤︎ u/89odev
📅︎ Dec 13 2019
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My New Years resolution is to stop leaving things so late.....
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👤︎ u/runew0lf
📅︎ Oct 23 2019
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why did we skip to 4k resolution?

Because 3k was a little too racist.....

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👤︎ u/jiddsawpuzzle
📅︎ Sep 28 2019
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Differences between different resolutions.
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👤︎ u/BTTF_DeLorean
📅︎ Feb 06 2019
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I made a new year resolution to go to the gym..

But it didn't quite work out..

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👤︎ u/bookloverrr4
📅︎ Mar 11 2019
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My New Years resolution is 1080p

Sorry for the overused joke but happy new year

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👤︎ u/ships-n-dip
📅︎ Jan 01 2019
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New Year's Resolution

I told my wife I would be more healthy and exercise this year. It didn't “workout”.

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👤︎ u/Suffer-My-Desire
📅︎ Jan 02 2019
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My New Year's Resolution

2560×1440

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👤︎ u/NonstopSuperguy
📅︎ Jan 01 2019
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I have a new years resolution to stop drinking

For the 29th and 30th February

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👤︎ u/Obimark
📅︎ Mar 11 2019
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Me: Hey dad, what’s your New Years Resolution?

Dad: I think I’m gonna stick with 4K.

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👤︎ u/ajd011394
📅︎ Dec 31 2018
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New Year’s Resolution...

3840 x 2160

So glad I picked up that new TV in the sales.

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👤︎ u/knightcastle
📅︎ Dec 31 2018
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My new year resolution is to do things in time.
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👤︎ u/sodomicity
📅︎ Feb 07 2019
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What’s your New Years resolution?

Mines 3840 x 2160.

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👤︎ u/capitain_clark
📅︎ Dec 31 2018
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Got asked what my new year's resolution was

Told them "Same as last year, 1920 X 1080"

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👤︎ u/manuel_f_p
📅︎ Jan 05 2019
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New Year’s resolution

My New Year’s resolution is to be more limber and athletic, so I asked the instructor at my gym: “Can you teach me to do the splits in 4 weeks?”

Instructor: ”That depends; how flexible are you?”

Me: ”I can’t make Tuesdays”

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👤︎ u/chronicdane
📅︎ Jan 03 2019
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What’s your New Years resolution?

Mines 1920 x 1080

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👤︎ u/GorillaScrotum
📅︎ Jan 02 2019
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My new year's resolution is ...

... 1920x1080.

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👤︎ u/Velociraptor45
📅︎ Dec 31 2018
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What's going to be most popular new year's resolution for 2019 ?

1920x1080

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👤︎ u/tinyroundballs
📅︎ Dec 30 2018
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My New Year's Resolution this year was to get thinner...

I got pretty drunk so I don't remember if I meant to lose weight or buy fluid to dilute paint

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Feb 07 2019
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What's your new year resolution?

I might upgrade to 3840 x 2160 pixels.

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👤︎ u/sagarkaniche
📅︎ Dec 31 2018
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At the University, I used to make videos of urine at different resolutions.

I even got a pee HD.

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👤︎ u/sodomicity
📅︎ Dec 31 2018
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RIP New Year’s resolution 2018
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👤︎ u/Shwindian99
📅︎ Feb 04 2018
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My new years RESOLUTION is to run a 5k... Display
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👤︎ u/onesmallserving
📅︎ Jun 04 2015
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I think my New Year's resolution is going to be 1080 x 720
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👤︎ u/TheKrixMachine
📅︎ Oct 20 2015
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I made my new year's resolution about velcro

It still sticks

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👤︎ u/Thedude22ewd
📅︎ Jan 29 2018
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My New Years Resolution

1600 x 1200.

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👤︎ u/conventionalsecrets
📅︎ Jan 01 2018
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My wife and I have a New Year's resolution to drink more water.

When I complained about having to pee so much she told me I needed electrolytes. I asked her if I could replace electrolytes with just one... electroheavy.

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👤︎ u/michaelnpdx
📅︎ Jan 11 2018
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Little late, but I think /r/dadjokes would like to see a list of my New Years resolutions
  1. 1920 x 1080 (tower PC)
  2. 1366 x 768 (chromebook)
  3. 1080p (TV)
  4. 1024 x 600 (tablet)
  5. 360 x 480 (phone)
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👤︎ u/DupaZupa
📅︎ Jan 06 2014
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A good resolution to have...

1080p

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👤︎ u/k_ronos
📅︎ Dec 31 2017
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I asked my dad what his new year's resolution was.

He looked at me and said "1080p"

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👤︎ u/OwnagePwnage123
📅︎ Jan 01 2018
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My New Year’s Resolution...

My New Year’s Resolution is 1080p. 4K would be nice but I can’t afford it. What’s yours?

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👤︎ u/1insevenbillion
📅︎ Dec 31 2017
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New years resolution, no more dad jokes

No more, no less

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👤︎ u/Elhamster310
📅︎ Dec 31 2017
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My New Years resolution is to quit cold turkey

The leftovers are more than a week old at this point, its disgusting.

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👤︎ u/timothybugjunior
📅︎ Jan 04 2017
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New Year's resolution

A colleague shared her new year's resolution. I said that mine was 1280x1024.

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👤︎ u/MyKidsArentOnReddit
📅︎ Dec 30 2016
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What famous essayist had the most resolution?

H. D. Thoreau!

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👤︎ u/supremecrafters
📅︎ Apr 29 2017
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I'd like to share my new years resolution with this sub.

1440x900.

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👤︎ u/truefire87c
📅︎ Jan 01 2017
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My New Years resolution is to stop using spray-on deodorants.

Roll on 2015!

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👤︎ u/The_Wexican
📅︎ Dec 29 2014
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My weight loss resolution has me really waisting away.
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👤︎ u/MoreCowbells
📅︎ Jan 03 2017
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I asked my Dad what his new year resolution was

He said 1920x1080

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👤︎ u/PimpCheese
📅︎ Jan 10 2014
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What is your New Years Resolution?

Mine is in Ultra HD.

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👤︎ u/elmaninho
📅︎ Jan 02 2017
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My New Year's resolutions are:
  1. Stop making lists.

B. Be more consistent.

  1. Learn to count.
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👤︎ u/Gamsurslicki
📅︎ Jan 04 2016
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I've got a new resolution this year!

Nothing but 1080p for me!

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👤︎ u/Arkaega
📅︎ Jan 01 2015
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My Dad on New Years Resolutions

Mom: "Alright so let's go around saying our New Years Resolutions."

Dad: "1080p"

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👤︎ u/theFATasianKID
📅︎ Jan 02 2016
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My New Year's resolution will be 1440p.
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👤︎ u/SciFiXhi
📅︎ Dec 28 2013
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My new year's resolution

will be 1600x1200. I'm done with 1280x1024.

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👤︎ u/DrDalenQuaice
📅︎ Jan 01 2014
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All these silly New Year's resolution dadjokes reminded me of a New Year's resolution from 20 years ago

it was 640x480

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👤︎ u/Hawkline
📅︎ Jan 01 2015
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Dad joked the New Years Resolution-ers at work

A few of the new trainees approached me at work today and told me how part of their (and probably every other American's) New Years Resolutions were to get in better shape. They proceeded to ask me if I knew any gyms in the area.

Naturally I responded, "No, but I know a few James's"

Groaning ensued.

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👤︎ u/Honeydipper_Dan
📅︎ Jan 08 2015
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So next year's resolutions?

Still 1080p

Source: /u/sydneytom

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👤︎ u/henry82
📅︎ Dec 30 2014
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New year's resolution...

As the family is making fun of my mother for her voice cracking

Mom: "Wasn't being nicer to everyone something we all wrote down?!?"

Me: "Nope."

Sister: "Nope."

Dad: "I don't remember, I wrote mine down last year."

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👤︎ u/NikKollazo
📅︎ Jan 01 2014
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My dad just told me his only new years resolution.

it's 1920x1080

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👤︎ u/skaterman665
📅︎ Jan 01 2015
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My 2015 resolution:

1080p

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👤︎ u/hwoodo94
📅︎ Jan 01 2015
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My new years resolution?

I'll probably keep it 1280x1024 like always. Thanks for asking though.

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👤︎ u/spicyitallian
📅︎ Jan 01 2015
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My Dad's new years resolution is to run everyday.

Today he ran the dishwasher, tomorrow he'll run the garage door opener.

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👤︎ u/martinjester2
📅︎ Jan 01 2015
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My dad on New Years Resolutions

I set my New Years Resolution to lose 10 pounds, and I've only got 15 pounds to go!

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👤︎ u/adonzil
📅︎ Jan 15 2014
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My new year's resolution is to buy a Velcro wall

And I plan on sticking to it.

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👤︎ u/Clbull
📅︎ Jan 02 2018
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New Years Resolution

My New Years Resolution is 1080p. What about yours?

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👤︎ u/Flailed
📅︎ Dec 31 2013
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My new year's resolution.

Is 1080p

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👤︎ u/Punkwasher
📅︎ Jan 01 2017
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My new year's resolution...

is 3840 × 2160.

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👤︎ u/geoffbutler
📅︎ Jan 01 2017
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