The leader of a small settlement had a good life

People were greeting him on the street and were willing to help him when needed. He was respected. He was not waiting in line at the supermarket. He had discounts to all shops he visited. He even had priority in choosing which girl to spend the night with..

However, soon more people started coming to that place. The settlement became bigger, more like a village. The newcomers actually did not care that much about the leader. He was slowly becoming more irrelevant, more equal to everyone else.

He had lost his pre-village.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hornyonion
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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I used to own 3 ski lodges, one in the Alps, one in Aspen and one in France. When I got divorced the first 2 times, my exes each got a lodge as part of the settlement. The third marriage, I decided I needed a prenuptial agreement to cover my assets. It was all I could do!

It's my last resort!

Edit: changed "it was" to "it's"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
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Did you hear about the trans lawyer who sent a settlement letter to a dentist?

It was trans-send-dental-mediation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Perrin42
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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So my fiance recently divorced from her stay at home ex whose name is Ali. He was making a fuss about not getting his cash settlements from the divorce. I had to calm her down and tell her to

Pay Alimony.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/roha5090
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
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Just came up with this one

Did you hear about the law office that just won a huge settlement for a dental firm?

They did such a good job, the dentists put them on permanent retainer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KunrinG
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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What happened to the pilgrims who were involved in a class action lawsuit.

They reached a settlement.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/greatreference
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
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British police confirm that an entire northern town has gone missing

unfortunately, they have no Leeds

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ‘€︎ u/demon969
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2017
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What do you call it when two nukes have an argument?

A fallout

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeviAEthan512
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2016
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Dad jokes galore: Candy company settles with mid-Missouri man over underfilled boxes

A settlement has been reached in one of the sweetest lawsuits ever to be filed in federal court, but details of the payday are under wrappers.

Daryl White Jr. of Belle, Missouri, didn’t sugar coat his anger about paying a dollar apiece for boxes of Mike and Ikes and Hot Tamales that were only two-thirds full. Determined not to be a sucker, he hired counsel and paid the U.S. District Court Western District of Missouri a $400 filing fee to sue Just Born Inc., the candymaker’s parent company, for alleged deceptive advertising and unjust enrichment.


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πŸ‘€︎ u/missourijake
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2018
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Wife was playing Fallout 4...

She came across her settlement. Her: "boy, there sure are a lot of minutemen." Me: "yeah, almost an hour."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drawsprocket
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2016
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Dad Joked my mom

Watching the news when they mentioned billionaire Harold Hamm's divorce settlement, and it showed the check he wrote his wife. My mom said she'd never seen a check that big, when I replied "It's a normal size check, it's just on a large screen..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jomajorsh
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2015
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Mr Barbeque and Miss Chocolate

My wife and I were driving through town when we passed a store named Mr Barbeque. I told her that it's a good store, but Mrs Barbeque claims all the credit.

After she grumbled for a while, we passed another store just a few blocks away, called Miss Chocolate. I explained that this was Mrs Barbeque's maiden name, she opened it up after she left Mr Barbeque. It was a very bitter divorce, she lost all the sugar in the settlement.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SimonHova
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2015
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