Jeff, a semi colon, and an Oxford comma walk into a bar.
They both have a great time.
Dr: We had to remove your colon
Doctor: I'm sorry but we have to remove half of your colon
Doctor: I’m afraid we’re going to have to remove your colon.
I had a cancer scare recently. The doctor said I may have full blown colon cancer
Thankfully it’s just semicolon cancer
Doctor to patient do you smoke?
Patient: yes.
Doctor: marijuana, cigarettes, cigars, Vapes?
Patient: mostly brisket, and pork.
Allow me to colonize this place
:
It's been done, thank you, have a great day. :)
Or the colon had a great idea
I cannot get on board with colonizing Venus
I don't work well under pressure nor do I like toxic work environment.
The Semi colon is an important part of what?
The Semi-truck’s digestive system
The semicolon was invented because the colon was lonely...
It just wanted a little comma-raderie.
Did you hear about the semi-colon that broke the law?
It was given two consecutive sentences.
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
If you repeat a colon in Australia,
would that give you a colon oz copy?
My Dad is currently riding his bicycle across America to raise awareness for Colon Cancer...
[and posted a picture of him and his bike on a rest day.] (https://i.imgur.com/IapqomG.png)
Edit: Whoa this is getting popular. I live on the other side of the world, and am about to go to bed, but I am just going to put his [donation page] (http://ccf.convio.net/site/TR?px=3433802&fr_id=1580&pg=personal) at the top of the post if anyone is interested. It is no big deal, but if someone is looking, I thought I'd put it at the top. Either way, you all are going to make his day when I show him how many people appreciated his joke. I just hope this doesn't mean that I have to laugh at all of them from now on...
World renowned tongue twister champion was officially charged in court today
They gave him a tough sentence. He got off better than his accomplice, The semi-colon, who is in between two complete sentences.
People who think semi-colons & commas are the same, are missing the point.
A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence
My wife was just recently diagnosed with colorectal cancer and now has surgery scheduled to remove a couple of inches of her colon. I expect her grammar will improve as a result.
... Because she's going to have to learn how to use a semicolon.
They found tumors in my colon.
TIL colons can change the meaning of a sentence drastically: "Jane ate her friend's lunch." would become:
"Jane ate her friend's colon."
I had part of my colon removed
I told my dad I joke I came across on Reddit-. Doctor: We're going to have to remove your colon. Me Why? He responded with:
As long. as it doesn't. give. you irregular. periods.
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
Came out backwords / at a loss for words / just one big bowl of soup / proper punctuation: the colon / man,ure on a roll / just stirring the pot / poo-lease stop / can't. IOU potty humor / Y you say that? / It's fun, butt OK - mind my P's and Q's - I'll put lid on it
A colon got a promotion at work.
They call him the ascending colon.
Why are all ants English?
because they like to colonize.
Dr. Is recommending I get part of my colon removed...
I am just worried about becoming a semi colon
If we ever start colonizing other planets, I propose that we rename the Internet to the PlaNet.
My buddy just told me he needs major surgery: he's having half his intestine removed.
(excuse my grammar that should be a semi-colon)
r/funny sent me here... My dad had surgery this morning to remove a cancerous section of his colon. He's still got his sense of humor. (X-post from r/funny)
imgur.com/ZlOIj9q
I was in coma for 3 weeks...
I was in coma for 3 weeks, but my friend John was in coma for 5 weeks.
So you may say he was in a semi colon.
I went to the toilet
You can see that I didn't do a period, not very good at my poonctuation
Doctor: I'm sorry, but I had to remove your colon
Doctor: I'm afraid we've had to remove your colon
Doctor: I’m sorry but I had to remove a section of your colon.
Doctor: I had to take your colon.
What happened when the semi-colon broke grammar laws?
He was given two consecutive sentences.
Doctor: we had to remove your colon
Jeff, a semi colon, and an Oxford comma walk into a bar.
They both have a good time.
My doctor had to remove half my colon
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
