What ancient civilization had the best canoers?

The rowmans!

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
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What does a civilization in space use as a currency?

starbucks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aparks1437
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
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You know what civilization had the biggest scam in history?

The Egyptians with their pyramid scheme.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scabe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2017
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What is an electronically advanced civilization called?

A gated community.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gr3gard
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2014
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It's no wonder Carthage failed as a civilization...

it was always full of Carthinogens.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jegsnakker
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2018
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I've never had good luck with Civil War jokes

People don't general lee find them funny

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πŸ‘€︎ u/frudedude
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
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There was a civil war at the North Pole once, but the elves don't talk about it much...

It was a cold war. Also a short war, with little casualties.

It lasted six months. The truce came after the elves realized they'd wasted the whole day fighting.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlliedSalad
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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[OC (I think)] What do you call the child of a civil engineer?

A truss fund baby.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/acarp6
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
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Most people consider the Battle of Gettysburg the turning point of the American Civil War

For the Confederacy, it all went South from there

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πŸ‘€︎ u/speedoc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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Civilized Dino
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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What do you call the last chapter in a book about the Civil War?

The Appopendox!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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What do you call a snake that works for the government?

A Civil Serpent.

πŸ‘︎ 591
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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Did you know that on this day during the American Civil War, armies on both sides skipped breakfast?

They had to March first.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OneSidedDice
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
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Why did Democratic senators boycott the nomination of the new Supreme Court justice?

They just couldn’t Barrett.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BornOfAVegan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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What do you do if a maths puzzle infringes on your civil liberties?

Sue-doku.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KCL80
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
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This civil war on Syria is really...

...Assad story

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bendragonpants
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
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Vulture Problems (and apologies to Kansas)

The Prince of the vultures had always been a rebel, but he surprised everyone when he announced he was going to be a vegetarian. And nobody expected this to divide the vulture kingdom, with nearly half the vultures supporting the Prince's choice. Tempers flared, and civil war was brewing when the Prince burst into the King's chambers.

"Father," he cried, "I never meant to cause this. I'll do anything you say to reunite the kingdom. Please, Father, what should I eat?"

The King set a plate of roadkill in front of the Prince, and said "Carrion, my wayward son. There'll be peace when you are done."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rjsquirrel
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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Civil war jokes? I general Lee don’t find them funny
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πŸ‘€︎ u/F1Fan_00
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2018
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People often ask me if I know my Civil War era historical figures....

My response is usually "General Lee"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
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I think Stan Lee’s cameo in Captain America Civil War was...

general lee marvelous.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/prunedada
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
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My country just had a horrific civil war.

We won.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DJOK9R
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
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I'm sometimes okay with Civil War puns

but I General Lee don't approve

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ServalSpots
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2018
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I'm a historian who studies the American Civil War. Unfortunately, it's been hard making money at this.

So I applied for a General Grant.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2017
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Civil War puns might be a little controversial.

But they are General Lee easy to make.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2018
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πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tutandgroan
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2017
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In the future...

In 1,000 years, snails will evolve into being an advanced civilization. They will develop their own advanced technologies. In an effort to increase their mobility, they will equip their shells to be modular vehicles called Snail Cars, S-Car for short. Since snails do not have upper extremities, controlling the cars will be voice activated. The initiation command would be, "S-Car, GO!" πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dan_the_Man0904
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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Did you know that before the civil war

In school Jefferson Davis was voted most likely to secede

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timmyjaymes
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2018
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Civil engineer fired after forgetting how to design electricity-generating water barriers.

He lost his dam mind.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NeverBob
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2018
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How much does it cost to kill Tony Stark’s family?

One Buck

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lukethekiwininja
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
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Whenever I hear Trump talk I think of a civil war leader rallying the troops.

I mean, just generally speaking.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingBooRadley
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2017
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Which civil rights leader was the most exfoliated

Dr Martin Loofah King, Jr.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AbjectEra
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2018
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I'm considering starting a civil rights group to fight for the rights of biological twins.

Because they're people two.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/goboatmen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2013
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What do you call soldiers from the South when they partied during the Civil War?

Confetti-ate soldiers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skyfi357
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2018
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My wife is a civil engineer

She is nice and polite

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marcuccione
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2017
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What's the difference between a mechanical engineer and a civil engineer?

A mechanical engineer makes weapons and a civil engineer makes targets.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/melance
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2017
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When I was young I joined the Civil Air Patrol CAP for short

My grandfather called it the Called it the Civil Regional Air Patrol.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zac_is_awesome
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2017
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I don’t like Civil War jokes

I General Lee don’t find them funny

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Youngdoorstop
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2018
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Do you like Civil War Jokes?

I don’t find them General Lee funny.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnPurpleCow
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
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Why don't people like jokes about the Civil War?

They're General Lee not funny.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cjborange
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
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Civil War Jokes?

I General Lee don’t find them very funny.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrinceG_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2018
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Civil War jokes?

I don't General Lee find them very funny.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JakeTheSnake134
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2017
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What do you call a rude civil engineer?

An uncivil engineer.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mgas95
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2015
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