Do you know the World Health Organisation?

WHO?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Euphoric_Stigma
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the ignorant man say when he heard the Corona virus had been given a new name by the world health organisation

WHO?

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hetchem994
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a secret organisation of cheese that rules the world?

The Halluminati

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
How can a left-leaning organisation struggle for rights?
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pawailq
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2018
🚨︎ report
I decided to donate my recent winnings in am eating contest to an organisation for eating disorders

They refused, claimed it was tasteless

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeroenemans
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2014
🚨︎ report
How does NASA organise a party?

They planet.

πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/single_clone
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
I've been trying to organise the World Hide and Seek Championships...

Good players are hard to find.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried organising a hide and seek tournament...

But I really struggled to find all the good players.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iMaelstrom
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
How do astronomers organise a party?

They planet

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/g8ed_manual
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm having trouble organising a hide-and-seek league.

Good players are hard to find.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you organise a space party ?

You planet!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NicJ20
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you organise a party in space?

You plan-et

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeletedForSpamm
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you organise a space-themed party?

You planet.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ashakilee
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm organising a funeral for the world's fattest man

That's a big undertaking

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
🚨︎ report
We're organising a snack party

Everybody chip in please!!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you organise a party on Mars?

You planet.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scarybaubles
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I got the tickets to a talk show, organised by a group of robbers, at a heavy discount

It was a ConSession.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadNigga
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Cardboard cut out puns

Fathers day dinner tonight for my dad and my sister and family can't be there because of travel restrictions. I've organised life size cardboard cut outs of them and had my sister record a few dad jokes/puns. But I need help coming up with more ... the best, worst and cringiest are all welcome!

So far I have..
"I'm feeling a little flat"

"I'm board ... cardboard"

"You'd think my ears are painted on, You'll have to speak up"

"Can you believe someone told me I had the personality of cardboard"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NeishaJane
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Which fruit is best at organising events?

An Orange, as it can orange things pretty well.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2018
🚨︎ report
I organise my music collection into two categories....

Cheese and crackers

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/monkeyupbirch
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2018
🚨︎ report
I started a new job organising BBQs and cataloguing puns

I work in Dadmin

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MuttonChopViking
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2018
🚨︎ report
WHO?

So it seems that the World Health Organisation has determined that canines cannot contract or transmit the CORONAVIRUS. They are releasing all dogs from infected homes which are currently in quarantine.

Yes, we're happy to say that WHO let the dogs out. WHO? WHO, WHO,WHO. WHO LET THE DOGS OUT!

Thank you very much, I'm here all week. Dont forget to tip your waitress....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mdoldon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you throw a space party?

Organisation is the most important. First, you planet.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
🚨︎ report
This kid at the school assembly is my hero

Context: Our school was having a presentation at assembly from Together for Humanity - "a multi-faith not-for-profit organisation that is helping schools, organisations and communities to respond effectively to differences of culture and belief". The presenters were an orthodox Jew, a Muslim, a Christian and an atheist.

When they asked for questions at the end, my new hero asked "Have you ever gone to a bar together?"

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/D-Nizzle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2017
🚨︎ report
124 dad jokes that will make you laugh and cringe

Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.

What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.

Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.

β€œEvery time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, β€˜The good news is..it’ll feel better when it quits hurting.'”

What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

β€œI’ll call you later!”- β€œPlease don’t do that. I’ve always asked you to call me Dad!”

Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!

What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.

β€œMy dad literally told me this one last week: β€˜Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.’”

β€œWhenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, β€˜No, just leave it in the carton!’”

I got so angry the other day when I couldn’t find my stress ball.

If I had a dime for every book I’ve ever read, I’d say: β€œWow, that’s coincidental.”

I’m not indecisive. Unless you want me to be.

How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.

β€œMe: β€˜Dad, make me a sandwich!’ Dad: β€˜Poof, You’re a sandwich!’”

β€œI heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there

A steak pun is a rare medium well done.

β€œHow can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles.”

Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth – its pasteurized before you even see it

β€œWhat’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1”

The only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it.

I asked my friend to help me with a math problem. He said: β€œDon’t worry; this is a piece of cake.” I said: β€œNo, it’s a math problem.”

I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.

I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/weeb123xD
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Me Dad got me with this one at dinner...

I was visiting my folks, and decided to take em out to dinner when Ma got home. We go for a feed, all is well. I'm standing up at the end of the table, leaning on its edge with me phone out as Ma was organising herself. Da came back from the loo, and asked me what I was doing on me phone.

"Checking me balance." I replied, showing him my bank app. I had just been paid and was moving money around to savings and such, after paying for dinner by phone NFC.

Without warning he gives me a good hip n shoulder, not hard enough to send me flying but enough to shift me a bit.

"Ya balance looks shit, boy."

He smirks at me as Ma groans audibly. Cheeky old bugger.

This is why he's going in a crooked retirement home you always see on the News.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oi-FatBeard
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw an amazing woman today at the Ellen show!

Degeneres woman donated 1 million dollars to an organisation building schools in Africa

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/911MemeEmergency
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to sell filing cabinets to the mafia....

Back then I was involved in very organised crime!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/greyspartacus
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to supply Filofaxes to the mafia

I was into very organised crime.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/biggrumpybadger
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are atheists so selfless?

Because Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porkification
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2016
🚨︎ report
Got my workmates a while ago. Still chuckle about it to myself occasionally

I work for an organisation which has a very institutionalised system whereby the newest hires are the shit kickers and the people who have been there longest have it easiest. I knew it when I signed up and now I've done my time and moved up the totem pole a bit. I was lucky enough to be one of 10 people hired at the same time in this hiring period and so the shit was spread out a bit.

We have a small fleet of cars that need to be washed every Sunday. This is the newest hire's responsibility. About 2-3 months into the job I was washing the cars with a few of my other new colleagues. Our supervisor pokes his head out of the building and barks at us "Make sure you do a good job; don't forget to do the wheels!"

"Don't worry boss," I replied, "I'll do a wheelie good job!"

Have you ever heard a chorus of groans? I have.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_saladfingers_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2016
🚨︎ report
I've been practicing the Dadjoke trade on my girlfriend

So my girlfriend was doing some readings from her law textbook, and I was looking over her shoulder reading the thrilling book.

Me: "WHO's the World Health Organisation."

Her: "Ha. Ha."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hodgkinsonable
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2014
🚨︎ report
How does NASA organise a party

They Planet

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Satwik_Pandey
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
How does NASA organise a party?

They Planet

πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you organise a space party?

You planet.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MCBustANut6
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you organise a space party?

You PLANET!

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hackerman79_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
🚨︎ report
How do NASA organise a party?

They planet

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/judgepod
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2018
🚨︎ report
How do NASA organise a party

They planet

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chinfuk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2018
🚨︎ report
How do you organise a party in space?

You planet

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the_mazda_driver
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2018
🚨︎ report
How do you organise a space party?

You planet.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SJ007
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2017
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 80
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you organise a space party?

you planet.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Toggle2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2013
🚨︎ report

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