A company started selling land mines disguised as prayer mats...

The prophets were through the roof!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PianoSchmo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the corruption scandal in the milk company?

Turns out they were skimming a bit off the top.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DrF3lix
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23
🚨︎ report
I started a bun company

But I couldn’t raise the dough

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jacob_Young6138
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02
🚨︎ report
Shoe company burns down

No soles were lost

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VirtuminVG
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23
🚨︎ report
People keep telling me that my rocketship manufacturing company has failed

But it hasn't even launched yet!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Persons1001
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02
🚨︎ report
Railway companies must be nuts.

After all, they have loco-motives.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wontonnoodles98
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21
🚨︎ report
You know, that famous cookie company..., they just released an App

Insta-Graham

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SirGreybush
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01
🚨︎ report
A guy was fired from ample company

Because the manager wanted to make an example out of him

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shaa_virus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28
🚨︎ report
Given social distancing regulations, a ton of condiment companies are being forced to cancel July 4th campaigns like sponsored concerts, where they planned to hand out signature color sunglasses to attendees.

Bad idea, Heinz-Sight 2020.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DeusJZ
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26
🚨︎ report
At the company picnic, my co-worker said he had some juicy gossip. He loaded up his plate but tripped on the way to my table...

He spilled the beans!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03
🚨︎ report
The project to restore Big Ben was a bit behind schedule, so the construction company put on a third shift...

Men are now working around the clock.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19
🚨︎ report
"ArchAle" is a new micro-brewing company that I've set-up to raise money for the mentally disabled.

I named it after my dyslexic girlfriend, Rachael.

(She says that she's not technically "disabled," but I've seen her handwriting.)

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26
🚨︎ report
I need to start a witch themed spicy steak sauce company.

Our slogan would be, β€œThe only acceptable way to be burned at the steak.”

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ForestValkyrie
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25
🚨︎ report
I'm thinking of starting a candle making company.

My family doesn't think it's a good idea, but I keep assuring them it makes scents.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28
🚨︎ report
So i started an aerospace company

I hope it starts to take off soon.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pressyprice
πŸ“…︎ May 20
🚨︎ report
I want to start a gas company that deals exclusively in fuel derived from dog fossils. It’s going to be called Paw Petrol.
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13
🚨︎ report
What kind of insurance do candles companies get?

Waxident insurance...

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SillyTrain
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26
🚨︎ report
I'm thinking about starting a company to provide Wi-Fi in public swimming areas.

I'm going to call it IP in Pools

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18
🚨︎ report
What phone company did The Fonz subscribe to?

Ehayyyyy t & t

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jspittman
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09
🚨︎ report
A man sued an airline company after it lost his luggage.

Sadly, he lost his case.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ May 20
🚨︎ report
If a soda company wants to release a new flavour

they can

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Santak1ng
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
🚨︎ report
My friend just became CEO of a garbage bag company.

He got a Hefty contract.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 21
🚨︎ report
I'm starting a company of recycling chewing gum,

I just need some help to get it off the ground

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
I hired lawyers to sue the airline company for mishandling my luggage.

They lost my case.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ May 18
🚨︎ report
I started a company making airplane windows out of raw sand

Investors couldn't see the business taking off

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThatCookieDerp
πŸ“…︎ May 28
🚨︎ report
If I ever made an epic company for milk and cheese, I'd call it legend-dairy.
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Influenz-B
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the car company that has started making Star Wars figurines?

Toyota now makes toy Yodas...

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DanGlerrBOY89
πŸ“…︎ May 20
🚨︎ report
I guess my dad started a mushroom company and didn't tell me.
πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Missburr
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24
🚨︎ report
What did they name the company who makes rubber planes?

Boeing!

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LTenaciouSD
πŸ“…︎ May 27
🚨︎ report
let me tell you the twitter handle of a horror company out of this world

@mustfear

edit : thisnisna dad joke. not intended as an actual twitter handle search.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/alphabluewolf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
I told my boss I need a pay rise and that 3 other companies were after me...

He said 'which ones?'

I said ' Gas, electric and water'

πŸ‘︎ 333
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderHallow
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21
🚨︎ report
What ice cream company has the most money?

Wall’s Street

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Doorbell28
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13
🚨︎ report
My company has a team of 5 people to tell someone they've been terminated...

It's the firing squad.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 14
🚨︎ report
Elon musk should start a cologne and perfume company

he should call it "The Elon Musk"

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CanaanRS
πŸ“…︎ May 02
🚨︎ report
I’m starting to enjoy my family’s company...

...I have Stuck Home syndrome.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HXCg4m3r
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11
🚨︎ report
My company just hired a guy named Axel to star in a bunch of our ads

He’s our spokesperson

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rhedkiex
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31
🚨︎ report
If I had a company that made suspenders

I'd call it Disbelief

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/swsplechter
πŸ“…︎ May 20
🚨︎ report
Who is the CEO of PokΓ©mon Company?

Chairman-der

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
🚨︎ report
There's a company that offends people with adhd

It's called focus features

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 20
🚨︎ report
Do you know why I named my drilling company Concrete Boring, Inc.?

Because it isn’t very interesting.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrtomservo
πŸ“…︎ May 03
🚨︎ report
I want to start an automobile manufacturing company called "Huff"

So customers at the dealerships can leave in a Huff.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/qaddosh
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
The company that made the lift in my house is called Schindler. Yup. That's right. It's a Schindler's lift.
πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/arnasfox
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
My company just hired a new janitor.

We're expecting sweeping changes across the organization.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SoNotCool
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
🚨︎ report
The officers of my company all met on the open, unroofed porch extending from our building...

It was a deck quorum.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27
🚨︎ report
At one time, I had a strongly desired goal of owning a plumbing supply company...

I guess it was just a pipe dream.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
🚨︎ report
I just invested in a company that will pay me to keep t-bones and rib-eyes in my freezer to sell when the market improves...

I'm a steak-holder.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24
🚨︎ report
The company Volkswagon has said that they will release a new series of cars that use electricity.

They decided to call it, Voltswagon.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SleepyCrow07
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
🚨︎ report
What if tesla was a rope making company ?

Its founder would be Elon Husk.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SVT85
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
🚨︎ report
I bought some stocks from vegetable companies.

It didn’t turnip well.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02
🚨︎ report
What company owns the rights to Super Bowl 59?

NetfLIX

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nichoski
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19
🚨︎ report
This quarantine has provided me the perfect opportunity to start a yacht making company in my attic...

Sails are through the roof!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/void_burglar
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21
🚨︎ report
What kind of benefits do footwear company employees get?

Sock options

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SwansonsMom
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
🚨︎ report
Signed up for my company's 401k

but I'm nervous cuz I've never ran that far before

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/y414p
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
🚨︎ report
Despite being the owner of a very successful nutrition supplements company, my uncle has developed a deficiency

Ironic.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MagnetCarter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12
🚨︎ report
My credit card company must be really proud of me

They keep telling me I have an outstanding balance

πŸ‘︎ 129
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Toilet paper companies have decided against increasing production to meet current demands.

They said it would make business plunge.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheOrderOfARA
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27
🚨︎ report
How do diamond companies get away with selling useless rocks and remain successful?

They mined their own business

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/slizzler
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19
🚨︎ report
What's that saying, two is company...

Three is an illegal gathering.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29
🚨︎ report
I just read about an electric sign company that is having problems due to covid 19

They got rid of all their neon essential employees.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ima420r
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
🚨︎ report
The electric company I work for has a talent show at the annual company party.

One of the techs did a stand up comedy routine. The humor wasn’t very funny, it mostly went for shock value.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pikkl_rikk
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
🚨︎ report
Why should you never work for a window manufacturing company?

The job is a pane in the glass

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/therealdarkwizard
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19
🚨︎ report
He's climbing the company ladder
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Its_eeasy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02
🚨︎ report
I don't trust companies that plant trees.

It's such a shady business

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/salems_witch
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04
🚨︎ report
There’s a new company that goes in conventions and claim they can track you by your smell

But they can’t do it without your con scent

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lurebat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
🚨︎ report
I was just hired as a spokesperson for a podium company.

That’s a product I can stand behind.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
🚨︎ report
What must automobile companies do for more people to buy cars?

Spread the CarOwner Virus.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kilokiilo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22
🚨︎ report
Which company did sponsor glasses in Star Wars?

Rey-Ben

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Navi66
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17
🚨︎ report
I started a company to sell my recipe of soy based margarine.

Its soyda butter... and soyda not!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jazzywaffles84
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16
🚨︎ report
I came to work this morning and was shocked to find that our company was bought over by a firm in Madrid.

No one expects the Spanish acquisition.

πŸ‘︎ 296
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
My company is giving yo-yos as our gift this holidays and we are trying to think of a pun to include in our greeting cards. Any ideas?
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/birdlawyer213
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My health insurance company refused to pay my bill because I believe in reincarnation.

They said I have a pre existing condition.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the cockney who opened a spring water company?

He was a diamond geyser.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sergioarmagh
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
In my company, you have to agree to not shaving beard in the contract

It's called the Santa Clause

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pacson_So_Funny
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
🚨︎ report
I tried a new drink by the Dicken brewing company

I recommend the hot Dicken Cider... It's delicious.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I couldn’t believe my son when he said he got fired from a road construction company for theft.

But, when I got home all the signs were there.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Para__Digm
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05
🚨︎ report
This sniffer dog company. Get it?
πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/doodmakert
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
If you work at a grocery store and you pooped on company time

You took a pro-deuce

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PangwinAndTertle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28
🚨︎ report
Whoever did this is certainly a rising star in the company.
πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/juangusta
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Guy 1: "If my boss doesn't take back what he said to me, I'm leaving the company." Guy 2: "What did he say?"

Guy 1: "Leave the company."

πŸ‘︎ 139
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
My uncle invested in a company that made the Enter-key for computer keyboards...

He made a fortune in Returns...

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
After a long job search, I finally got a job in a company that makes telescopes.

Things are looking up.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
This guy from Egypt called me to invest in a tourism company, and then to ask 3 others to invest in it, while getting returns from their investments. I declined it.

It was a pyramid scheme.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheHyperthetical
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
🚨︎ report
I just got hired at a company that makes bicycle wheels!!

I’m the spokesperson

πŸ‘︎ 90
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Nightman_82
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I am baffled how I got a job with a tree removal company.

Completely stumped.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25
🚨︎ report
Did you hear of that fake metal that was fraudulently sold to companies as "steel"? It turned out to be an alloy mostly made up of tin. Guess you can call it FORGED steel
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/figgerer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report
A cousin of mine is in charge of distribution for this big pickle company; he was freaking out over the weekend after sending only miniature pickle chips to a restaurant that asked for full sized ones..

They told him it wasn't a big dill, though.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Y33T-HAW
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
🚨︎ report
You know, I really hate companies like EA

Pay Β£2.99 to view punchline

πŸ‘︎ 62
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/W-eye
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the worst about cigarette companies?

They kill their best customers

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wedgevic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
🚨︎ report
I'm going to start an airline company

I think it would take off

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/michaelveyrocks
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I started a company selling land mines disguised as prayer mats.

Prophets are going through the roof.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shi-Rokku
πŸ“…︎ May 03
🚨︎ report

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