A company started selling land mines disguised as prayer mats...
The prophets were through the roof!
Did you hear about the corruption scandal in the milk company?
Turns out they were skimming a bit off the top.
I started a bun company
But I couldn’t raise the dough
People keep telling me that my rocketship manufacturing company has failed
But it hasn't even launched yet!
Railway companies must be nuts.
After all, they have loco-motives.
You know, that famous cookie company..., they just released an App
A guy was fired from ample company
Because the manager wanted to make an example out of him
Given social distancing regulations, a ton of condiment companies are being forced to cancel July 4th campaigns like sponsored concerts, where they planned to hand out signature color sunglasses to attendees.
Bad idea, Heinz-Sight 2020.
At the company picnic, my co-worker said he had some juicy gossip. He loaded up his plate but tripped on the way to my table...
The project to restore Big Ben was a bit behind schedule, so the construction company put on a third shift...
Men are now working around the clock.
"ArchAle" is a new micro-brewing company that I've set-up to raise money for the mentally disabled.
I named it after my dyslexic girlfriend, Rachael.
(She says that she's not technically "disabled," but I've seen her handwriting.)
I need to start a witch themed spicy steak sauce company.
Our slogan would be, “The only acceptable way to be burned at the steak.”
I'm thinking of starting a candle making company.
My family doesn't think it's a good idea, but I keep assuring them it makes scents.
So i started an aerospace company
I hope it starts to take off soon.
I want to start a gas company that deals exclusively in fuel derived from dog fossils. It’s going to be called Paw Petrol.
What kind of insurance do candles companies get?
I'm thinking about starting a company to provide Wi-Fi in public swimming areas.
I'm going to call it IP in Pools
What phone company did The Fonz subscribe to?
A man sued an airline company after it lost his luggage.
If a soda company wants to release a new flavour
My friend just became CEO of a garbage bag company.
I'm starting a company of recycling chewing gum,
I just need some help to get it off the ground
I hired lawyers to sue the airline company for mishandling my luggage.
I started a company making airplane windows out of raw sand
Investors couldn't see the business taking off
If I ever made an epic company for milk and cheese, I'd call it legend-dairy.
Did you hear about the car company that has started making Star Wars figurines?
Toyota now makes toy Yodas...
I guess my dad started a mushroom company and didn't tell me.
What did they name the company who makes rubber planes?
let me tell you the twitter handle of a horror company out of this world
edit : thisnisna dad joke. not intended as an actual twitter handle search.
I told my boss I need a pay rise and that 3 other companies were after me...
He said 'which ones?'
I said ' Gas, electric and water'
What ice cream company has the most money?
My company has a team of 5 people to tell someone they've been terminated...
Elon musk should start a cologne and perfume company
he should call it "The Elon Musk"
I’m starting to enjoy my family’s company...
...I have Stuck Home syndrome.
My company just hired a guy named Axel to star in a bunch of our ads
If I had a company that made suspenders
Who is the CEO of Pokémon Company?
There's a company that offends people with adhd
It's called focus features
Do you know why I named my drilling company Concrete Boring, Inc.?
Because it isn’t very interesting.
I want to start an automobile manufacturing company called "Huff"
So customers at the dealerships can leave in a Huff.
The company that made the lift in my house is called Schindler. Yup. That's right. It's a Schindler's lift.
My company just hired a new janitor.
We're expecting sweeping changes across the organization.
The officers of my company all met on the open, unroofed porch extending from our building...
At one time, I had a strongly desired goal of owning a plumbing supply company...
I guess it was just a pipe dream.
I just invested in a company that will pay me to keep t-bones and rib-eyes in my freezer to sell when the market improves...
The company Volkswagon has said that they will release a new series of cars that use electricity.
They decided to call it, Voltswagon.
What if tesla was a rope making company ?
Its founder would be Elon Husk.
I bought some stocks from vegetable companies.
What company owns the rights to Super Bowl 59?
This quarantine has provided me the perfect opportunity to start a yacht making company in my attic...
Sails are through the roof!
What kind of benefits do footwear company employees get?
Signed up for my company's 401k
but I'm nervous cuz I've never ran that far before
Despite being the owner of a very successful nutrition supplements company, my uncle has developed a deficiency
My credit card company must be really proud of me
They keep telling me I have an outstanding balance
Toilet paper companies have decided against increasing production to meet current demands.
They said it would make business plunge.
How do diamond companies get away with selling useless rocks and remain successful?
They mined their own business
What's that saying, two is company...
Three is an illegal gathering.
I just read about an electric sign company that is having problems due to covid 19
They got rid of all their neon essential employees.
The electric company I work for has a talent show at the annual company party.
One of the techs did a stand up comedy routine. The humor wasn’t very funny, it mostly went for shock value.
Why should you never work for a window manufacturing company?
The job is a pane in the glass
He's climbing the company ladder
I don't trust companies that plant trees.
It's such a shady business
There’s a new company that goes in conventions and claim they can track you by your smell
But they can’t do it without your con scent
I was just hired as a spokesperson for a podium company.
That’s a product I can stand behind.
What must automobile companies do for more people to buy cars?
Spread the CarOwner Virus.
Which company did sponsor glasses in Star Wars?
I started a company to sell my recipe of soy based margarine.
Its soyda butter... and soyda not!
I came to work this morning and was shocked to find that our company was bought over by a firm in Madrid.
No one expects the Spanish acquisition.
My company is giving yo-yos as our gift this holidays and we are trying to think of a pun to include in our greeting cards. Any ideas?
My health insurance company refused to pay my bill because I believe in reincarnation.
They said I have a pre existing condition.
Did you hear about the cockney who opened a spring water company?
In my company, you have to agree to not shaving beard in the contract
It's called the Santa Clause
I tried a new drink by the Dicken brewing company
I recommend the hot Dicken Cider... It's delicious.
I couldn’t believe my son when he said he got fired from a road construction company for theft.
But, when I got home all the signs were there.
This sniffer dog company. Get it?
If you work at a grocery store and you pooped on company time
Whoever did this is certainly a rising star in the company.
Guy 1: "If my boss doesn't take back what he said to me, I'm leaving the company." Guy 2: "What did he say?"
Guy 1: "Leave the company."
My uncle invested in a company that made the Enter-key for computer keyboards...
He made a fortune in Returns...
After a long job search, I finally got a job in a company that makes telescopes.
This guy from Egypt called me to invest in a tourism company, and then to ask 3 others to invest in it, while getting returns from their investments. I declined it.
I just got hired at a company that makes bicycle wheels!!
I am baffled how I got a job with a tree removal company.
Did you hear of that fake metal that was fraudulently sold to companies as "steel"? It turned out to be an alloy mostly made up of tin. Guess you can call it FORGED steel
A cousin of mine is in charge of distribution for this big pickle company; he was freaking out over the weekend after sending only miniature pickle chips to a restaurant that asked for full sized ones..
They told him it wasn't a big dill, though.
You know, I really hate companies like EA
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What is the worst about cigarette companies?
They kill their best customers
I'm going to start an airline company
I think it would take off
I started a company selling land mines disguised as prayer mats.
Prophets are going through the roof.