If I had to rate our solar system...

I'd give it one star.

πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gabereyn
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do women with nieces and nephews have great immune systems?

Because of their Auntie-bodies

πŸ‘︎ 116
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Reiri_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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What's a celibate person's favourite operating system?

Unix.

(Eunuchs.)

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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Two French IT guys have come up with a new system to share files electronically.

It’s a Pierre to Pierre network.

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I accidentally turned a wrong valve in the factory which disabled the central cooling system and increased the temperature abruptly. I wasn't able to do anything, so I fled the scene immediately.

The police are now charging me for a 'Heat and Run' incident.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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We should have a global storage system for crops...

Some people just want to watch the World Barn.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gamiker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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The Czech republic is introducing a train ticketing system so you can pay with bitcoin...

...it uses blocktrain Czechnology.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FunMathematician1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What would happen if you give McDonalds an operating system
  • They'd sell Mac
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChickenFuzzNuts
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What happens if you give a site foreman an operating system

He'll install windows

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChickenFuzzNuts
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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System of Operating
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MNguyen720
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What banking system do birds use?

Feather All Reserve

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/heleninthealps
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Why haven’t aliens visited our solar system yet?

They looked at the reviews first...... only 1 star

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/callmekrusty
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Errors are red, screen is blue, i think i deleted, system 32.
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hallower87
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
My anatomy class is currently covering the skeletal system and my professor is being unreasonable with the amount of material we need to know so I made an office hour appointment to speak with him.

You can bet your ass I have a bone to pick with him.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
How does the solar system throw a party?

They planet.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scorchdearth
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I hated my System Analysis and Design clasess,

They are SAD

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GunnerVee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
My anatomy class is covering the nervous system and I don't get any of this stuff.

It's so nerve-wracking.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
My neighbour was a selling a speaker system for just $1. When I asked him why it was so cheap he told me that you cant adjust the sound, the volume is stuck at the loudest setting.

I said "Wow, I cant turn that down"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingSulley
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does the metric system make so many friends with women?

It always wants to meter.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife told me we didn’t need the surround system for our living room I bought...

I told her it was a Sound Investment.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrivateRyGy
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Americans don't like the metric system because most of them have a foot fetish.
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gr8prajwalb
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
🚨︎ report
The Roman army never fell. They instead moved to the nearest star system.

They became the Alpha Centurions.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I don't understand all this hate towards non traditional number systems

I for 1, love Roman numerals.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PhoenixFlamebird
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
🚨︎ report
The American healthcare system is UnBEARable
πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arc-thicc_phoenix
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad just made a joke about the solar system

I guess it was more of a son joke though

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lamboguy11
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What is a spacecraft chock-full of microbes sent to populate the nearest planetary system?

A probe-biotic.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FernandoLH95
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Scientists found that the nervous system doesn't actually exist.

It's just a lack of the confidence system.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VeggiesForThought
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I want to build a model of the solar system.

Just have to planet.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/electric_leper
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
🚨︎ report
The solar system wouldn’t do well on Yelp

It only has one star

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scooterT12
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What video game system does Homer Simpson play?

Ninten-doh!

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
🚨︎ report
My neighbor sells home security systems, he's pretty good at it too.

If nobody's home, he just leaves a brochure on the kitchen table

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
🚨︎ report
A want to have a party to celebrate our solar system.

I just have to planet first.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Evasive-Cupid
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
🚨︎ report
The nervous system
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dry_turtle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Sorry if this breaks the rules but, please cheer up my dad! He's a punctuation expert who is recovering from surgery. He just had half of his lower digestive system removed. It would really cheer him up if you could comment with his favorite punctuation mark:

;

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/edhere
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
🚨︎ report
Why haven’t aliens visited our solar system?

They looked at our reviews: only 1 star.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/singh_j
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don't aliens visit our solar system?

They looked at the reviews, only one star

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moon1499
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
If I had to rate our solar system

I'd give it 1 star

πŸ‘︎ 405
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pjacob77
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
🚨︎ report
If I had to rate the Solar System

I would give it one star

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/amruxiii
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
🚨︎ report
If I had to rate our solar system.

I'd give it one star.

πŸ‘︎ 361
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wileydan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do the Americans don't like the metric system?

Because most of them have a foot fetish.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gr8prajwalb
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Why haven't aliens visited our solar system yet ?

The looked at the reviews.....only 1 star

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
🚨︎ report
If I had to rate our solar system,

I'd give it one star.

πŸ‘︎ 124
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πŸ‘€︎ u/420_esketit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Why haven't aliens visited our solar system yet?

They checked the reviews................ only one star.

πŸ‘︎ 197
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Noir_Reaper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
If I had to rate the solar system

I would rate it one star

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MidgetFucker420
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
🚨︎ report

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