Holiday to-do list: 1) shoot the family 2) hang the kids 3) frame the wife

$129.95 at JC Penny Portrait and Framing Studio

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sattoth
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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I got my grandma a new walking frame made by NASA and she's starting to get the hang of it...

It's one small step for Nan....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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There was a man who a had an entirely wooden car. Wooden frame, wooden wheels, wooden engine. Did he ride it? No.

It wooden start.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MonkeyLord_11
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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What do you call a selfie that’s so good you put it in a frame?

A shelfie.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kvnhntn
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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It’s got a wooden frame, wooden engine, wooden wheels and a wooden gas tank. Did he ride it? No, wooden start
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dunkinbiskits
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
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A woodcutter once decided to build his own motor bike. He used wood for the frame, wood for the engine, wood for the brakes, and even a wooden gas tank.

Did he ride it? No. It wooden start

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_methematician
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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What person can shoot somebody, then frame you for being there?

A photographer

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BustyNinja69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
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My bed used to be on the floor but I recently bought a bed frame

I can honestly say the quality of my sleep is slightly above where it used to be

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/XxTURDxTACOxX
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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The fiance and I were looking at frames for our wedding photos.

We couldn't settle between two of them. My wife couldn't take her eyes off the smaller one, but I wanted the larger one.

So, I told her, "Honey, you need to look at the bigger picture."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigMartin58
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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What do you call it when a bowler knocks down all the pins in a practice frame?

A preemptive strike.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DavideoandPhoto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
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Friend purchased a wooden motorcycle. Wooden frame, wooden engine, wooden wheels. I asked if they had ridden it and they said no...

Wooden start

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JonRanch1989
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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What’s the difference between a useless Scottish girl and a giggling auto frame?

The first is a chaffy lassie. The other is a laughy chassis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tomato_soup_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
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My dad’s motorbike has a wooden frame, wooden engine, wooden wheels, and a wooden gas tank. Did he ride it?

Nope, it wooden start

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πŸ‘€︎ u/paoerfuuul
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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My son was being very noisy attaching cross-laced string to an oval frame. I had to tell him...

Stop making that racket.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
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My wife says that I wasted money by ordering a 3 meter wide frame for our wedding photo.

Well, I think she should look at the bigger picture.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
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******The Hunchshaq of Notre Dame***** (Frame from the YouTube video β€œshaq eats a hot wing content aware scale”)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeclanKav18
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
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Sometimes it is better to just walk away from things and go back to them later when you’re in a better frame of mind.

While it's true, that's how I lost my job as a surgeon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2018
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You’re the world’s greatest dad although my frame of reference is pretty limited.

Happy Father’s Day fellow dads!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jangooni
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
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You coud say Marge's out of frame
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrFense
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2018
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A few days ago my next door neighbours glass fell out of the window frame in the living room.

They called a company who came out to replace the glass, it happened again two days later so the company came back again and replaced it. My neighbour asked why it was happening and the company told him that it was happening a lot in the area, and that a local animal was eating the putty we use to hold the glass in. My neighbour asked him what kind of animal could possibly do that??? He said yes it’s a cat..... A putty cat......

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Funkcanna
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
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Teacher: Frame a sentence using the word 'harassment.'

Student: I'm in love with a girl and harassment a lot to me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nocturnal_shit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2018
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I just watched an amazing documentary on aircraft frames assembly.

It was riveting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2018
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When I was little, we went to an outdoor lecture featuring the original cast of Star Trek. I was especially excited to see Bones. Unfortunately, we were seated toward the side of the amphitheater, where huge oaks had been planted to frame the stage.

As a result, I couldn't see DeForest through the trees

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πŸ‘€︎ u/confibulator
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2018
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Turns out that new Call of Duty brand frames are available through LensCrafters' website!

Press F to pay for specs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dachannien
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
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Optician: "Would you like to go choose some frames?"

Me: "Actually, there's a pair I've had my eye on already."

(This actually happened, and she laughed.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/galactic-avatar
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2018
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Hallo! A license plate frame for you
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πŸ‘€︎ u/apaloosafire
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2017
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In Frames is my favorite metal band
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rawr007
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2017
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Reverse your diurnal/nocturnal time frames.

Have a night's day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2018
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Previous working title was: 15 Minutes of Frame i.reddituploads.com/5464d…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mairiphinc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2017
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Wife says"The lady at the frame shop was Russian"

Why was she in such a hurry?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Togiak
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2017
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My son was carrying a box full of picture frames

He said, "I pictured this being much heavier."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wheezy360
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2015
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Dad walked down the stairs with his arm through a dozen picture frames.

"I've been framed!" he said.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jontagg
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2015
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My wife chose a new dining table with a metal frame instead of a wooden one

I complimented her on picking an unteak.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gunnrhildr
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2016
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Mom was in the living room hammering a nail in the wall to hang a frame...

...and she says "I think I hit a stud."

My dad yells out from the kitchen "That's funny, I didn't feel anything!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaden_____Smith
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2015
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