Holiday to-do list: 1) shoot the family 2) hang the kids 3) frame the wife
$129.95 at JC Penny Portrait and Framing Studio
I got my grandma a new walking frame made by NASA and she's starting to get the hang of it...
It's one small step for Nan....
There was a man who a had an entirely wooden car. Wooden frame, wooden wheels, wooden engine. Did he ride it? No.
What do you call a selfie that’s so good you put it in a frame?
It’s got a wooden frame, wooden engine, wooden wheels and a wooden gas tank. Did he ride it? No, wooden start
A woodcutter once decided to build his own motor bike. He used wood for the frame, wood for the engine, wood for the brakes, and even a wooden gas tank.
Did he ride it? No. It wooden start
What person can shoot somebody, then frame you for being there?
My bed used to be on the floor but I recently bought a bed frame
I can honestly say the quality of my sleep is slightly above where it used to be
The fiance and I were looking at frames for our wedding photos.
We couldn't settle between two of them. My wife couldn't take her eyes off the smaller one, but I wanted the larger one.
So, I told her, "Honey, you need to look at the bigger picture."
What do you call it when a bowler knocks down all the pins in a practice frame?
Friend purchased a wooden motorcycle. Wooden frame, wooden engine, wooden wheels. I asked if they had ridden it and they said no...
What’s the difference between a useless Scottish girl and a giggling auto frame?
The first is a chaffy lassie. The other is a laughy chassis.
My dad’s motorbike has a wooden frame, wooden engine, wooden wheels, and a wooden gas tank. Did he ride it?
My son was being very noisy attaching cross-laced string to an oval frame. I had to tell him...
My wife says that I wasted money by ordering a 3 meter wide frame for our wedding photo.
Well, I think she should look at the bigger picture.
******The Hunchshaq of Notre Dame***** (Frame from the YouTube video “shaq eats a hot wing content aware scale”)
Sometimes it is better to just walk away from things and go back to them later when you’re in a better frame of mind.
While it's true, that's how I lost my job as a surgeon.
You’re the world’s greatest dad although my frame of reference is pretty limited.
Happy Father’s Day fellow dads!
You coud say Marge's out of frame
A few days ago my next door neighbours glass fell out of the window frame in the living room.
They called a company who came out to replace the glass, it happened again two days later so the company came back again and replaced it.
My neighbour asked why it was happening and the company told him that it was happening a lot in the area, and that a local animal was eating the putty we use to hold the glass in.
My neighbour asked him what kind of animal could possibly do that???
He said yes it’s a cat.....
A putty cat......
Teacher: Frame a sentence using the word 'harassment.'
Student: I'm in love with a girl and harassment a lot to me.
I just watched an amazing documentary on aircraft frames assembly.
When I was little, we went to an outdoor lecture featuring the original cast of Star Trek. I was especially excited to see Bones. Unfortunately, we were seated toward the side of the amphitheater, where huge oaks had been planted to frame the stage.
As a result, I couldn't see DeForest through the trees
Turns out that new Call of Duty brand frames are available through LensCrafters' website!
Press F to pay for specs.
Optician: "Would you like to go choose some frames?"
Me: "Actually, there's a pair I've had my eye on already."
(This actually happened, and she laughed.)
Hallo! A license plate frame for you
In Frames is my favorite metal band
Reverse your diurnal/nocturnal time frames.
Wife says"The lady at the frame shop was Russian"
Why was she in such a hurry?
My son was carrying a box full of picture frames
He said, "I pictured this being much heavier."
Dad walked down the stairs with his arm through a dozen picture frames.
"I've been framed!" he said.
My wife chose a new dining table with a metal frame instead of a wooden one
I complimented her on picking an unteak.
Mom was in the living room hammering a nail in the wall to hang a frame...
...and she says "I think I hit a stud."
My dad yells out from the kitchen "That's funny, I didn't feel anything!"