I love a good build up
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/creepinonthenet13
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 22 2020
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How does a penguin build its house?

Igloo’s it together!!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/archiewalton09
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 17 2021
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They say the cost to build Yankee Stadium was just over $2 billion

But that's just a ballpark figure

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/I_Only_Have_One_Hand
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 22 2021
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I bought my kids Avengers action figures for Christmas so I don’t have to sit and build.

They were already assembled.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 78
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PaulFromTheParty
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 27 2020
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I tried to build a house from baguettes

Now I live in pain

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/analytik
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 16 2021
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How does a penguin build its house?

Igloos it together!!

I may be a little drunk but this is my favourite joke ever and I feel it belongs here because I’ve not seen it here yet!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KaylsTheOptimist
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 11 2021
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What did Mariah Carey say when her boyfriend bought her an undeveloped property so they could build their dream house?

I don’t want a lot for Christmas.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jayrandomer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 25 2020
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My two sons 5&8 are playing Minecraft this morning on survival. They are working hard together to build their mansion. I crossed the room in front of the TV to grab my phone as they are balanced high on a wall constructing a roof. My son screams out, β€œDad get out of the way!”

I said, β€œYou’re the ones blocking!”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Colbosky
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 27 2020
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I tried to build a shelf to hold all my favorite Brie Larson movies

But I didn’t have Room

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tvkyle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 03 2020
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My history textbook says that the pharoh of Egypt used slaves to build the pyramids.

Which is kind of weird considering he could've just used bricks or something.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/xXJustaGuy420Xx
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 22 2020
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Ancient Egyptian architect: "Do you know how to build a pyramid?"

Ancient Egyptian builder: "Well, err yeah, upto a point."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 66
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 27 2020
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A guy knocked on my door asking for a donation to build a community swimming pool.

So, I handed him a glass of water.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/gr8prajwalb
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 19 2020
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I was going to build a house made out of books...

But it was too novel a concept

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 12 2020
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Build a man a fire and he’s warm for a day...

...set him on fire and he’s warm the rest of his life.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thepunis
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 29 2020
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My friend keeps asking me if I’ll help him build a dock behind his lake house, even though I keep telling him β€œno.”

Honestly, I’m feeling a lot of pier pressure.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tvkyle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 01 2020
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I was excavating a large hole in my backyard in order to build an underground office. My neighbor wasn't too happy with the noise and wanted to come and see what all the commotion was about.

I told him to just leave me alone. After all, I'm just mining my own business.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/IAMA_SWEET
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 23 2020
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Many years after the great flood, God came to Noah again and spoke: β€œNoah, it is my wish that you build another ark.”

Rather worried, Noah said β€œBut my Lord, have the people not been good this time? Must there be another flood?”

β€œNo, there will not be a flood, the people have been good.” Said the Lord.

β€œThen why another ark?” Asked Noah.

β€œI wish for this ark to only house fish.” The Lord replied.

A slightly confused Noah responded β€œOkay... I shall do as you wish my Lord.”

β€œBut not just any fish; only carp.” The Lord said unto him.

Noah, now more bemused, replied β€œUh- okay my Lord.”

β€œOne more thing.” The Lord said unto him β€œit needs to have multiple levels.”

β€œAre you sure my Lord? What is the purpose of this? What on earth is it all for?” Noah pressed.

And God said: β€œI want you to build a multi-story carp-ark.”

Passed from my father unto me, to pass onto my son when he becomes a father.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dongwaffler
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 08 2020
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I told my friend to build a road from his house to his job

Now he’ll pave the way to success

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Carter16891
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 07 2020
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My sister asked me to keep my nephew from playing games on his tablet all night. I suggested he builds a fort with his cousin.

He instantly replied, β€œbut mom said I couldn’t play Fort Night”

(He’s gonna be a great dad some day)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cbt711
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 17 2020
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A woodcutter once decided to build his own motor bike. He used wood for the frame, wood for the engine, wood for the brakes, and even a wooden gas tank.

Did he ride it? No. It wooden start

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/_methematician
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 08 2020
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What do Alaskan tourists say when they build an Igloo?

Let's go Inuit

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SocijalnoRetardiran
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 25 2020
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Today I saw a snake build a web.

It was a python.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fbiweeb
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 04 2020
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How do you build a staircase?

You take it step by step.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LudwigVonPhoenix
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 17 2020
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such build-up, totally worth it.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 247
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/12jd
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 26 2020
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What did the cow build it’s house out of?

Cottage Cheese

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CrazyCosmonaut
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you build a house with playing cards

Start a Club

Win their hearts

Give them tools and Spades

Pay them with diamonds

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Slymood
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I was talking to a guy that builds rides in theme parks.

"How do you make the merry-go-round?" I asked him.

He said, "Feed drunk people pizza."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 05 2020
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Send me a message if you want to build a boat...

I Noah guy.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 19 2020
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What is the canine contractor's favorite thing to build?

Aroooooo-f

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/amazinglexus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 31 2020
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My Sister Bet Me $15 I Couldn't Build a Car Out Of Spaghetti

You should of seen her face as I drove pasta.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JackKeogh01
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 18 2019
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I tried asking some beavers to build me a house...

But they don't give a dam.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 07 2020
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My brother builds yatchts and was told to work from home during corona virus

Sails have gone through the roof

πŸ‘οΈŽ 63
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SHAGGZY101
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 04 2020
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Build that wall
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Tmac2096
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 18 2019
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I always wanted to design and build my own dream home..

But I've no concrete plans yet.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 02 2020
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I miss Cubs baseball so much that I asked my kid to build me a super realistic Wrigley Field in Minecraft.

She did a great job, because just like the real Wrigley these days, the only seats I could afford had blocked views.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CIMMGW
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 28 2020
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Today, my dad asked me if I could help him build his paver patio. He said if I couldn’t help, he would ask an Irish guy he knows.

Patty O’Paver.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 12 2020
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During the pandemic, I plan to build a new underground shelter to live in.

It's my new digs.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 10 2020
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If Noah were to build a boat today, would it be steel?

Held together with ark welding.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 25 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a penguin build its house?

Igloos it together

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Neutraliscool
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
"How does a penguin build its house?"

"Igloos it together."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PersonWalker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a penguin build its house?

Igloos it together!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Papa-Slick
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.!!!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/eyeut
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a penguin build their house?

Igloos it together

πŸ‘οΈŽ 60
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ALizardKing
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a penguin builds its house?

Igloos it together!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/amar610
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a penguin build it’s house?

Igloos it together!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/EpaicSpace7
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
If you build a man a fire he will be warm for a day.

If you set a man on fire he will be warm for the rest of his life.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bot_10
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My sister bet me $15 that i couldn't build a car out of spaghetti.

You should have seen the look on her face as i drove pasta.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/avianthon
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 09 2019
🚨︎ report
How does an eskimo build his house ?

Igloos it together

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 30 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a penguin build it’s house?

Igloos it together.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/afranc72
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 01 2020
🚨︎ report

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