I love a good build up
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/creepinonthenet13
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a penguin build its house?

Igloo’s it together!!

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/archiewalton09
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
🚨︎ report
They say the cost to build Yankee Stadium was just over $2 billion

But that's just a ballpark figure

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
I bought my kids Avengers action figures for Christmas so I don’t have to sit and build.

They were already assembled.

πŸ‘︎ 78
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PaulFromTheParty
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried to build a house from baguettes

Now I live in pain

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/analytik
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
🚨︎ report
How does a penguin build its house?

Igloos it together!!

I may be a little drunk but this is my favourite joke ever and I feel it belongs here because I’ve not seen it here yet!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KaylsTheOptimist
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report
What did Mariah Carey say when her boyfriend bought her an undeveloped property so they could build their dream house?

I don’t want a lot for Christmas.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jayrandomer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My two sons 5&8 are playing Minecraft this morning on survival. They are working hard together to build their mansion. I crossed the room in front of the TV to grab my phone as they are balanced high on a wall constructing a roof. My son screams out, β€œDad get out of the way!”

I said, β€œYou’re the ones blocking!”

πŸ‘︎ 16k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Colbosky
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried to build a shelf to hold all my favorite Brie Larson movies

But I didn’t have Room

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tvkyle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My history textbook says that the pharoh of Egypt used slaves to build the pyramids.

Which is kind of weird considering he could've just used bricks or something.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xXJustaGuy420Xx
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Ancient Egyptian architect: "Do you know how to build a pyramid?"

Ancient Egyptian builder: "Well, err yeah, upto a point."

πŸ‘︎ 66
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
A guy knocked on my door asking for a donation to build a community swimming pool.

So, I handed him a glass of water.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gr8prajwalb
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I was going to build a house made out of books...

But it was too novel a concept

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Build a man a fire and he’s warm for a day...

...set him on fire and he’s warm the rest of his life.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thepunis
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend keeps asking me if I’ll help him build a dock behind his lake house, even though I keep telling him β€œno.”

Honestly, I’m feeling a lot of pier pressure.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tvkyle
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I was excavating a large hole in my backyard in order to build an underground office. My neighbor wasn't too happy with the noise and wanted to come and see what all the commotion was about.

I told him to just leave me alone. After all, I'm just mining my own business.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IAMA_SWEET
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Many years after the great flood, God came to Noah again and spoke: β€œNoah, it is my wish that you build another ark.”

Rather worried, Noah said β€œBut my Lord, have the people not been good this time? Must there be another flood?”

β€œNo, there will not be a flood, the people have been good.” Said the Lord.

β€œThen why another ark?” Asked Noah.

β€œI wish for this ark to only house fish.” The Lord replied.

A slightly confused Noah responded β€œOkay... I shall do as you wish my Lord.”

β€œBut not just any fish; only carp.” The Lord said unto him.

Noah, now more bemused, replied β€œUh- okay my Lord.”

β€œOne more thing.” The Lord said unto him β€œit needs to have multiple levels.”

β€œAre you sure my Lord? What is the purpose of this? What on earth is it all for?” Noah pressed.

And God said: β€œI want you to build a multi-story carp-ark.”

Passed from my father unto me, to pass onto my son when he becomes a father.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dongwaffler
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my friend to build a road from his house to his job

Now he’ll pave the way to success

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Carter16891
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My sister asked me to keep my nephew from playing games on his tablet all night. I suggested he builds a fort with his cousin.

He instantly replied, β€œbut mom said I couldn’t play Fort Night”

(He’s gonna be a great dad some day)

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cbt711
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
A woodcutter once decided to build his own motor bike. He used wood for the frame, wood for the engine, wood for the brakes, and even a wooden gas tank.

Did he ride it? No. It wooden start

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_methematician
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What do Alaskan tourists say when they build an Igloo?

Let's go Inuit

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Today I saw a snake build a web.

It was a python.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fbiweeb
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you build a staircase?

You take it step by step.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LudwigVonPhoenix
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
such build-up, totally worth it.
πŸ‘︎ 247
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/12jd
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the cow build it’s house out of?

Cottage Cheese

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CrazyCosmonaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you build a house with playing cards

Start a Club

Win their hearts

Give them tools and Spades

Pay them with diamonds

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I was talking to a guy that builds rides in theme parks.

"How do you make the merry-go-round?" I asked him.

He said, "Feed drunk people pizza."

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Send me a message if you want to build a boat...

I Noah guy.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the canine contractor's favorite thing to build?

Aroooooo-f

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/amazinglexus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
My Sister Bet Me $15 I Couldn't Build a Car Out Of Spaghetti

You should of seen her face as I drove pasta.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JackKeogh01
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I tried asking some beavers to build me a house...

But they don't give a dam.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother builds yatchts and was told to work from home during corona virus

Sails have gone through the roof

πŸ‘︎ 63
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SHAGGZY101
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Build that wall
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tmac2096
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I always wanted to design and build my own dream home..

But I've no concrete plans yet.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I miss Cubs baseball so much that I asked my kid to build me a super realistic Wrigley Field in Minecraft.

She did a great job, because just like the real Wrigley these days, the only seats I could afford had blocked views.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CIMMGW
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Today, my dad asked me if I could help him build his paver patio. He said if I couldn’t help, he would ask an Irish guy he knows.

Patty O’Paver.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
During the pandemic, I plan to build a new underground shelter to live in.

It's my new digs.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
If Noah were to build a boat today, would it be steel?

Held together with ark welding.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a penguin build its house?

Igloos it together

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Neutraliscool
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
"How does a penguin build its house?"

"Igloos it together."

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PersonWalker
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a penguin build its house?

Igloos it together!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Papa-Slick
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.!!!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/eyeut
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a penguin build their house?

Igloos it together

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ALizardKing
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a penguin builds its house?

Igloos it together!

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/amar610
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a penguin build it’s house?

Igloos it together!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EpaicSpace7
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
If you build a man a fire he will be warm for a day.

If you set a man on fire he will be warm for the rest of his life.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My sister bet me $15 that i couldn't build a car out of spaghetti.

You should have seen the look on her face as i drove pasta.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/avianthon
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
🚨︎ report
How does an eskimo build his house ?

Igloos it together

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a penguin build it’s house?

Igloos it together.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/afranc72
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.