What’s the single form of calculus?

Calculme.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29
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How to Castrate a Bull, in Limerick Form

I've two bulls who just love to fight //
they simply cannot be polite //
Just one needs to breed //
and so I'll proceed //
to castrate the weak one tonight

The procedure is safe, I insist //
if we make the blood flow desist //
to make bleeding halt //
do the "ball somersault" //
and give that whole sack a huge twist

To do this requires no skill //
I'll just need a quite large power-drill //
and a specialized clamp //
to hold on to that champ //
then turn it on fast- what a thrill!

It is clear this device should appeal //
to those who need bulls with less zeal //
I shall name this device //
with a drill and a vise //
the most perfect of names: "Steering Wheel!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chordus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31
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A pediatric surgeon sewed his kids together as a new form of punishment.

If you can’t beat β€˜em, join β€˜em.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jay-overthinks
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
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I once saw a cloud of mist form before my eyes, then take the form of a giant tent peg...

It was a big mist-stake.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08
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I was trying to form a Fleetwood Mac cover band, but couldn't get the vocalist just right...

I had to Nicks that idea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
🚨︎ report
What's the most common form of Owl on Owl attack?

Fly-By Hooting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iamdonloyal
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
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I buy a new clock every time a new social movement forms.

Because the times, they are a-changin'.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EatsWatermelon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
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When geese are migrating they form a "V" shape, but do you know why one side is always longer than the other?

Because there are more geese on that side.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TempestWest
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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Imagine a form of public transportation where there is no monetary fee but you relive past mistakes for as long as you are a passenger
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πŸ‘€︎ u/C0LL3CT
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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The cows on my dairy farm have all decided to form a new financial vehicle made up of a pool of money collected from many cows to invest in securities...

It's a mootual fund.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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This is a series of dad jokes that all relate to each other and form a dad joke story so bear with me.

How do you kill a blue elephant? (How?) With a blue elephant gun.

How you you kill a pink elephant? (With a pink elephant gun?) No, you hold its trunk til it turns blue then shoot it with the blue elephant gun

Why do elephants paint their toenails red? (No clue...?) So they can hide in cherry trees

Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? (Of course not) Then clearly it works

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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Bringing back dead memes in another form.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UnsteadyKoala
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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Why are trains the best form of transportation?

Because they have a proven track record

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IzzetAGoblin
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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Two inventors died and ascended to heaven. There, they met each other and with their brilliant minds created a brand new form of fire making utensil.

It was a match made in heaven.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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The political climate is so polarizing these days that even Do, Re and Mi decided to form their own independent left leaning musical scale and vote Democratic.

When questioned they just stated they were now Anti Fa.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BLT5000
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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What's a peasant's favorite form of entertainment?

Family feudalism

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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Satan 10% form
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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I made this video in good humor only... please do not take it as offense in any way, shape, or form!

Life as a Stay at Home Dad (honest humor nothing against Stay at Home Dads)

As as an aspiring father figure, I have the greatest respect for dads of every kind. In fact, much of this stems from the fact I’ve grown up from the age of 6 without a father of my own. I made this video as a comical representation of what I hope to be one day: a guy full of dad jokes and such humor.

Thank you for reading and enjoy!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mosswyatt
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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TIL Older forms of English kept Latin’s gender-specific suffixes -tor and -trix; tor is for men and trix is for women. So a male pilot is an aviator, a female pilot is an aviatrix. A male fighter is a gladiator, a female fighter is a gladiatrix.

This contrasts with the modern system, where tor is for both men and women, and trix are for kids.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/neffability
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
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Microsoft has taught children how to work and how to form a great pun sequence.
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gboy7373
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2019
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What kind of a government would Authors form if given a chance?

An authoritative write winged government.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LaMusicista
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
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Guys, I had a really exhausting day yesterday, filling in forms and calculating the surplus of money I had to pay to the country.

It was a taxing day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NaziWookie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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Today I learned I will assume my final form and will he becoming a dad in December.

Probably name my kid Luke so I can remind him who I am for the rest of eternity.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/macbeezy_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
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Apparently 'Viagra' is now available in powder form specially for tea. Well, it's not for enhancing your sexual libido................

.............. But it won't let your dipped biscuit 'Go Soft'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ball5deeper
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know the name Bat is actually a short form...

The full name is Bathew

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NairodI
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the name of the largest cell service provider for alien life forms?

ET&T

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Youwantfuckame
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
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The best form of comedy
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jafopwoo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I've got a date with a woman form the sewing machine factory.

She seams nice

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
🚨︎ report
High mass in the extraordinary form
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πŸ‘€︎ u/prlmn
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
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For my English final, I had to compose a lyric poem marked by exaltation of feeling and style, varying length of line, and complexity of stanza forms.

"Ode no!" I thought.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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I believe that venison made from female deer should be classed as a form of bread.

After all, it's cooked doe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
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A maths teacher decided to form a band, what he’s gonna call it?

Algorythm. (Algorithm)

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
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My friend told me to get 100 copies of a form

I told him I can't A4 it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/darthsid1603
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
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Among the different forms of milk, my favourite is when it is churned.

It’s butter that way.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What's a Panda's Favorite Form of Literature?

Po-ems

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πŸ‘€︎ u/John_isnt_my_name
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
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A large gathering of priests and nuns arranged themselves to form an image of Christ visible from space...

But it wasn't for altruism of course, they all stood to make an enormous prophet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phryxil
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
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I bet my wife I could form a full sentence out of the noodles in my alphabet soup

Man did I eat my words

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WaltzWithPotatos
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
🚨︎ report
A group of owls decided to form a rock band...

They're called The Whoo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skiinghobbit
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
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I like jokes that make fun of accents. You like jokes that don't work in text form.

Potato potato.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
🚨︎ report
We may soon resort to barbarianism and form clans and start clashing over toilet paper!

That's feud for thought!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the most metallic form of humor?

None, humor can’t be metallic. What, were you expecting β€˜irony’?

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
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An advanced form of Nanatechnology
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ranx1000
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
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I was filling out the SAT form and asked if it was the SAT with essay or not

Of course it is. It’s the essayt

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dahvos
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
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When someone asks you what the short form of "What the fuck" is
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πŸ‘€︎ u/q_Maxi_p
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
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A group of fishermen were trying to form a band

UnforTUNAtely they didn't find a BASSist

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ledin542
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
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What is Tony Stark's favorite form of humor?

Irony.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Socratio
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
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