What do you call 2 guys tied up and stuck in a window?
Was driving by the prison the other night when I saw a midget climbing down from a window.
I said to myself, that’s a little condescending
"I argue with windows a lot"
They don't admit you window
Help! Accidentally uninstalled Windows!
A viking named Rudolph The Red was looking out his window one day
"Its going to rain soon" he said to his wife.
"How could you possibly know that?" She asked.
He simply replied,
"Because Rudolph The Red knows rain, dear."
A Russian named Rudolph looked out of his window one day and told his wife not to go out without an umbrella. His wife asked ”What makes you say that”?
He replied ”Rudolph the red knows rain dear”.
Now that I’m officially a dad I have my first good joke. Me and my wife are driving down the road and a bug splats the window.
I turn to her and say “I bet he don’t have the guts to do that again”
Edit: holy shit y’all this blew up. Thank you master dads. I feel worthy
When the local carpenter was asked what it was like when he fell through a window?
He said,” All I felt was pane.”
Someone threw a piece of a brick through my window last night
The police aren’t helping because there isn’t enough concrete evidence.
Did you hear about the guy who was stealing people's window panes?
Apparently it was panes taking work.
When French people make bread, they throw the dough at the window to see if it's ready to bake
I guess that's why they call it window pain.
Climbing through my window on the first floor was easy. But if it was the second floor,
That'd be a different story all together.
A man is impaled on a shard of broken window
“I can’t imagine the pane you must be going through”
What did the Apple OS say to the Windows OS when it wanted to merge?
A man came in my tech repair shop complaining his nail had damaged his windows laptop and was concerned it wouldn't work anymore
I told him not to worry- he's only scratched the surface
A viking by the name of Rudolph the Red was sitting in his home, when he looked out the window.
He told his wife that it was going to rain soon. His wife, never hearing her husband predict the weather before asks, "How Rudolph, how do you know its going to rain soon?"
"Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."
Why did the window inspector quit his job?
I was going to cover the windows of our new house with curtains, but my wife came in and tossed vertical blinds at me...
Dunno why the she had to throw shade on my pursuit...
Just happened: my contractor broke a window during our nearly complete renovation
He turned to me and said it's no problem. At this stage it's just a pane.
I threw some pills and accidentally broke one of my windows.
I didn’t realize they were pane killers.
Just came home to find all my doors and windows open, everything's gone!
Who would do that to another person's Advent Calendar?!
I saw an ad in a shop window, "Television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full"
I thought, "I can't turn that down".
A Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said
“It looks like it’s going to rain” his wife said how do you know?
He replied “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear....
Why are all the windows screaming?
Because they are in panes.
The new Windows update deleted Microsoft Edge
We could say it's a cutting edge techology.
What happened to the men who smashed all the windows in their office building..
They're now facing a glass action lawsuit.
I was thrown through a window today.
Why did the boy throw the butter out the window?
He wanted to see a butter-fly!
Why is there no Windows 9?
I saw a sign in a shop window that said "Watch batteries fitted, £2.50."
I thought “Why would anyone pay to see that?”
A donkey just smashed through my window!
My bedroom now has a stained glass window....
A pigeon just flew right into it.
The other day I asked my Dad why he took up window cleaning as a profession
He told me it was the only job he could see himself doing.
My window cleaner was banging on my window shouting and swearing!
I thought to myself: He’s lost his rag.
My wife got mad at me when I opened the window and yelled "Nice rack!"....
... But that buck must have been a 6 pointer!
I've finally given up on finding a name for my window coverings made from bug spray...
I call the search Off! It's curtains for that quest!
One night I got pulled over. The cop walked up to my window and said “do you have a police record, sir?” I said:
I was in my flat & this tall lady walked past my window.
I knew she was tall....as I live on the 2nd floor.
Do you know why I like windows?
You can always see right through them.
I was walking past a shop, and there was a classic bomb in the window Beside it was a sign that read "$1, irreplaceable fuse"
I said to myself "That's an offer I can't refuse"
I accidentally smashed a window recently.
It was a pane to replace.
My buddy once asked me what it's like to work as a high rise window washer...
I said it has its ups and downs.
I thought I saw a German sausage fly past my window, but it was actually a seabird.
I think I’ve taken a tern for the wurst.
What do window wear to protect themselves from viruses
I wonder how Bill Gates gets Windows. Does he get it free? Or does Microsoft Bill Gates?
A salesman said his windows were unbreakable, so I punched one. That hurt, but not nearly as much as the window falling off the display and landing on my head. Unfortunately I can't sue...
...they were advertised as double-pain windows after all.