you know what drives old people up the wall?

stair lifts

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Emily-Savage
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08
🚨︎ report
Muhammad Wall-E.
πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
🚨︎ report
What did the fish say when he hit the wall?

"dam"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Esmeralda_i
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
A brick wall fell on a man.

He was in mortar peril.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
I'd tell yous all a joke about a wall

However none of you would get over it.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drebz87
πŸ“…︎ May 24
🚨︎ report
We have a decent sized backyard and I wanted the kids to experience hide and seek at a new level. I hired a carpenter and puzzle author to set up some walls and let me tell you, what they did...

was a mazing

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coloredboyadvance
πŸ“…︎ May 28
🚨︎ report
What did one salmon say to the other salmon after it ran into a concrete wall?

β€œDam!”

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GirlMom929
πŸ“…︎ May 10
🚨︎ report
The sound from a musician on stage bounces off the auditorium walls to surround the audience

The sound from a pigeon on stage does not do this because of a coo sticks.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deadly_R
πŸ“…︎ May 09
🚨︎ report
What did one wall say to the other?

Meet me at the corner.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrianBash
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29
🚨︎ report
What are prison walls made out of?

CONcrete

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/prq9218
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27
🚨︎ report
URINE for a treat right here! A sticker on the bathroom wall at work.
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dough1360
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05
🚨︎ report
A ghostly apparition of the rock band Procol Harem appeared on my bedroom wall.

I turned A Whiter Shade of Pale when I saw it.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/glezgatoon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11
🚨︎ report
Saw a photo of a shack that had bailing twine holding the walls up

I gotta say, it really tied the room together...

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vin135mm
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
🚨︎ report
My two sons 5&8 are playing Minecraft this morning on survival. They are working hard together to build their mansion. I crossed the room in front of the TV to grab my phone as they are balanced high on a wall constructing a roof. My son screams out, β€œDad get out of the way!”

I said, β€œYou’re the ones blocking!”

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Colbosky
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
You know what drives everybody up the wall?

Elevators.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08
🚨︎ report
USA's border wall is a

statue

of limitations

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dym_sh
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16
🚨︎ report
After I was arrested, my ex-wife decided to hang a picture of my mugshot on the wall in her living room.

But she still won't admit she framed me.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DestroyatronMk8
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
The other day I decided to install a highly decorative wall plug in my living room.

I needed a creative outlet.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shu-di
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13
🚨︎ report
What invention allows us to see through walls?

Windows!

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
🚨︎ report
Yesterday I purchased a world map and put it on the wall in the kitchen

I gave my wife a dart and said:" Throw this and, wherever it lands, i'll take you there for a holiday."

Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.

πŸ‘︎ 99
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mac_OrchardYT
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Cum on the wall..

And call it walnut

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shreecasm
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
🚨︎ report
I plugged in a charger to the wall and my usb c headphone to the charger.

-Dad, what are you doing?

-Listening to AC/DC.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tahmid5
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28
🚨︎ report
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ranjanatharva
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to the rock-wall place but my debit card was declined, so I had to pay with the coins in my car’s center console.

It was my climb-it change.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CarterLawler
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
🚨︎ report
Scientists have discovered a way to walk through walls....

Its called a door.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03
🚨︎ report
I might just lean against the wall

If I may be so inclined

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Geofferz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30
🚨︎ report
What's a fish say when it hits a brick wall?

Dam.

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skib900
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother went to jail. He didn't take it well. Started insulting and attacking everyone and threw his own feces on the walls.

I don't think we'll play Monopoly with him again.

πŸ‘︎ 807
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yankee9Niner
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
We need to be very careful about collapsing Wall Street so we don’t get crushed by Roof Street

Posted on shower thoughts first, they told me to bring it here. I should have thought of that first. Anyways here ya go.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/levainletlive
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28
🚨︎ report
What happens when you break the 4th wall?

The ceiling will fall and crush you.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Daani_G
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03
🚨︎ report
I used to be a flat earther. I even set out to sail across the ocean to find the big ice wall.

But eventually I came around.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jradio610
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
BR EAK ING NE WS....'Bill Gates has agreed to pay for the finishing of Trumps Wall."

(on the condition he gets to install Windows in it)

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Dwayne Johnson is a really nice guy, so he always makes sure he's as close to the wall as possible...

He hates putting anyone between The Rock and a hard place.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/curioushom
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Today I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall.

I thought to myself, β€œThat’s a little condescending.”

πŸ‘︎ 319
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sierrasport
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
After many years of therapy, my psychologist has finally cured me of the desire to sit in the corner in public and blow on people that walk by! But now I have the urge to wear teen idol t-shirts and lean against the wall...

Long time fan, first time poster.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
When I was in high school in Belleville, ON, a young local artist spray-painted a beautiful picture on a large concrete wall under a bridge by the Moira river. He didn't get permission to do this, however, and the city eventually painted over it.

Watching his picture go like that must've been pretty demuralizing.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/levitron
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I took some money off the wall…

Now I hear my roommate saying, "Where's wall dough?"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
🚨︎ report
Why is my stud finder constantly going off even when it isn't touching the wall?

Oh wait... I'm holding it.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ndisa44
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
🚨︎ report
What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?

Dam.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ozmofasho
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09
🚨︎ report
What did the fish say when it swam into the wall?

Dam

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheReddit_Master
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03
🚨︎ report
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

Oh dam

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justbeatitTTD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28
🚨︎ report
The fish swam into a wall..

Dam

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06
🚨︎ report
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?

Dam.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kiwi_Woz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10
🚨︎ report
What Did The Fish Say When He Ran Into A Wall?

Dam

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AstrosAtoZ
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
🚨︎ report
What did one wall say to the other wall?

I'll meet you at the corner!

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/red_snake0329
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
🚨︎ report
What did one wall say to the other wall?

I'll meet you at the corner!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28
🚨︎ report
The sound from a musician on stage bounces off an auditoriums walls to surround the audience, however

The sound from a pigeon does not, because a coo sticks.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/heightsenberg
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24
🚨︎ report
What did the fish say when it hit the wall?

Dam(n).

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SeaSaltVanilla
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report

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