I’ve never been to Paris.

I won’t walk into a mime field unless I never want to be heard from again

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2023
🚨︎ report
What does a Scottish person play in Paris?

Baguette-pipes

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SaladEnhancements
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2023
🚨︎ report
What is the French expression used when you trip up in Paris?

Eiffel.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/deoxyrybonucleic
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2022
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you bump your knee while in Paris?

A Sorbonne

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EththeEth
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2022
🚨︎ report
That tower in Paris

sure is an eye-full.

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2022
🚨︎ report
what do leeches and the eiffel tower have in common?

they are both paris sites

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kvlyc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2023
🚨︎ report
Where do French ghosts buy underwear in Paris?

At a Boo Lingerie

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yourgodsucksballs
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2022
🚨︎ report
What would you be if you jumped off one of those pretty river bridges in Paris?

inSeine

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AcrobaticAd9381
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2022
🚨︎ report
My wife said I have to stop making puns of world capitals..

You win some, Jerusalem.

πŸ‘︎ 981
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2022
🚨︎ report
A factory in the outskirts of Paris which built coffee-making devices exploded recently.

The incident was reported in the French Press.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Muzer0
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2022
🚨︎ report
What tastes good in Paris, but hurts in London?

Pain.

πŸ‘︎ 158
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2022
🚨︎ report
I always have two eggs for breakfast, but when I went on a trip to Paris

One egg was un oeuf

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/immaownyou
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2022
🚨︎ report
The hunchback of Notre Dame, part 2

(Please read part one first)

News of Quasimodo's death reached his village, and his brother Demimodo journeyed to Paris to pay his respects to his brother.

After visiting the grave, he went to the cathedral to express his gratitude to the Archbishop and his staff for looking after his brother in life and in death.

In conversation, the Archbishop learned that despite having the same gnarled hands as his brother, Demimodo also was an experienced bell ringer, having performed this service at his village church, using the same technique.

Demimodo was hired to replace his brother and started to ring the bells morning, noon and night. Some said he rang them better than his brother.

Come Easter time, and Demimodo decided to offer a grand symphony before the bells went quiet on Maundy Thursday.

On the Wednesday night, Demimodo went into orchestral mode and played superbly. As his brother did, he too wanted to end on a crescendo, and like his brother, he too took a flying leap at the last bell.

And missed.

Once again, the public were asked by the gendarmes if anyone knew who this poor soul was. The same person who spoke of Quasimodo replied, "I don't know his name, but he was a dead ringer for his brother."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AlisonLiterally
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2023
🚨︎ report
How do you survive a fall from the Eiffel Tower?

You quickly pull your Paris chute

πŸ‘︎ 721
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2022
🚨︎ report
I met a beautiful woman in the museum in Paris

I think I’m in Louvre.

πŸ‘︎ 136
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Atxlaw2020
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2022
🚨︎ report
what do leaches and eiffel tower have common

They both are PARIS-SITE

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/withoutaaim
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2023
🚨︎ report
My friend passed off a picture taken in Paris Las Vegas for one in Paris, France.

And Eiffel for it.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2022
🚨︎ report
They warned me not to lean over the edge of the tower in Paris.

Eiffel.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2022
🚨︎ report
So I went up that massive metal tower in Paris recently...

It was amazing, don't get me wrong, but I'm lucky to be here to be honest. I was up the very top, and there was a massive gust of wind, and unfortunately Ie ffel!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sampanyo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2022
🚨︎ report
Why do Mexicans cross the American border in Pairs?

Because the sign says 'No Trespassing'

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/1963Jan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2022
🚨︎ report
Didn't you hear about the guy who jumped off a bridge in Paris?

He's in Seine.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wimpykidfan37
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2022
🚨︎ report
Why did Paris Hilton call in sick?

She wasn't feeling so hot.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2022
🚨︎ report
What do you call people in paris?

Parisites.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LoadingRocket51
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2021
🚨︎ report
I recently visited Paris.

Loved it, but the architecture was a bit of an Eiffel.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2022
🚨︎ report
A list of over 350 Dad Jokes!

Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.

3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.

5/4 of people admit they’re bad at fractions.

A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.

A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. β€œI’d like some wings and a pint of beer, please,” it says. β€œSorry, but I can’t serve you,” the bartender replies. β€œYou’re out of your head.”

A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'

A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.

A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. β€œWe don’t serve your kind here,” the bartender says. β€œWhy not?” one yogurt asks. β€œWe’re cultured.”

A friend of mine didn’t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.

A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. He’s an extremely aggressive janitor.

A guy walks into a bar, and there’s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, β€œWhat are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?” The guy says, β€œIt’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”

A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, β€œWhat’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, β€œArrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”

A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, β€œI don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

Armed robbersβ€”some say they’re a drain on society, but you’ve got to give it to them.

Barbers…you have to take your hat off to them.

Can February March? No, but April May!

Cooking out this weekend? Don’t forget the pickle. It’s kind of a big dill.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.

Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.

Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!

Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.

Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. There’s Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewis… Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?

Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!

Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bugasum
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2022
🚨︎ report
Was in Paris the other day when a screaming naked guy barged past me and jumped into the river.

He was inSeine

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/flump_in_a_slump
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2022
🚨︎ report
Why do golfers wear 2 paris of socks?

In case they get a hole in one.

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stand_kicker
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do Bri'ish people never pronounce the letter 't' ?

Because they drank it all

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/YourOverLordisME
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2022
🚨︎ report
Paris Police have charged a local man with unrinating into the river for over 5 minutes non-stop...

...he now has a European Record.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2021
🚨︎ report
There's been an explosion at a cheese factory in Paris

There's nothing left but de brie

πŸ‘︎ 66
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/potatooftheabys
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
🚨︎ report
What does a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?

They’re both Paris Sites

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/attention21
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2023
🚨︎ report
What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?

They’re both Paris sites

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2022
🚨︎ report
They warned me not to lean over the edge of that tower in Paris.

Eiffel.

πŸ‘︎ 287
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2021
🚨︎ report
I climbed a tower in Paris

Eiffel off

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tecuani1
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2022
🚨︎ report
I tripped in France

EIFFEL OVER

πŸ‘︎ 66
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DODamongus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2022
🚨︎ report
"What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?"

"They're both Paris sites."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kitchen-Top-254
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2022
🚨︎ report
That tower in Paris...

sure is an eye-full.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2022
🚨︎ report
That do cockroaches and the Eiffel tower have on common?

Both are Paris sights

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PhantomWasTaken11
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2022
🚨︎ report
They asked me not to lean over the edge of that tower in Paris.

Eiffel.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2022
🚨︎ report
I tried to climb a really tall tower in Paris, France.

But Eiffel off.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lodiman77
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2022
🚨︎ report
I fell into the river in Paris.

People said I must be in Seine.

πŸ‘︎ 82
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2021
🚨︎ report

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