I'm not sure if my ceiling is the best i've ever had

but it's certainly up there.

πŸ‘︎ 385
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
🚨︎ report
You know, I was looking at our ceiling the other day. It’s not the best...

But it’s up there.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Erbearlee
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18
🚨︎ report
I found mushrooms growing from the bathroom ceiling in my NYC apartment (typical) and called my dad to see what I should do about it.

He immediately said, β€œWell, I wouldn’t eat them.”

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/banananabby
πŸ“…︎ May 29
🚨︎ report
Had to replace all the bulbs in the side table lamps. Then I had to replace the ones in my ceiling fan.

That was the highlight of my day.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrisonMike1111
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09
🚨︎ report
I walked into a bank, pointed a long, thin piece of wood at the ceiling and shouted…

"This is a stick up!"

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 11
🚨︎ report
My wife wanted to buy a ceiling light. She said, β€œthis one comes with a hanging chain but I think we should just mount it flush with the ceiling.”

I said, β€œthat would be off the chain.”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ May 23
🚨︎ report
You know, my ceiling is pretty good

It’s not the best, but it is up there

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlabamaMayan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
🚨︎ report
The ceiling is one of my favourites.

It’s not the best, but it’s up there.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SowwieWhopper
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18
🚨︎ report
I don't have the best ceiling in the world

But it's up there.

πŸ‘︎ 97
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joesdad65
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
An homage to a one-time teen star suspended from the Muppet*Vision ceiling, Disney World
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15
🚨︎ report
I installed a new light bulb in my ceiling fan today.

It was definitely the high light of my day.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_Am_IM
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
I love my local team so much I hang from the ceiling and spin around.

I'm a big fan.

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bryanBr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
🚨︎ report
Anyone can dance on the ceiling...

If they just stick to it.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bcarD83
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02
🚨︎ report
If I started a band called β€œCeiling”...

Would that make the people who enjoy my music β€œCeiling Fans”?

πŸ‘︎ 115
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OriginGodYog
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What sound do ceiling fans make?

CEILING! CEILING! CEILING! CEILING!

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theoxilus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I was trying to change a lightbulb in the ceiling fan

My wife saw me struggling to reach it since it was pretty high up.

She said, "Let me get something for you to stand on. Do you prefer the ladder or the step stool?"

I said, "I'll take the latter."

So she brought me the step stool, just like I asked.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dt7693
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I bought a ceiling fan the other day

Complete waist of money. He just kept saying β€œI love how smooth it is”

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/explodingmelon222
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
A guy walks into a bar and sees 3 pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. The guy asks, "What's this about?"

The bartender replies, "Well, if you can jump up and slap the meat, you get free drinks for the rest of the night. If you miss, you pay for everyone's drinks for the next hour. You wanna do it?"

The guy replies, "Nah, the steaks are too high."

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/REPOST_STRANGLER
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2018
🚨︎ report
I once knew a guy whose entire career was based around rating the best ceilings for different houses. Ever day he researched the available options and what was best and worst about them.

He was a ceiling fan.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/linknt01
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Man walks into a butcher store and sees a side of beef strapped to the ceiling. As he approaches the counter he asked asks β€œHey, what’s with the beef?”

Butcher tells him if he can jump up and touch it, he gets half off his purchase. If not, he pays double. The man looks up at the beef and says,

β€œNah. The steaks are too high.”

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tkl15
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m exhausted! When I get home from work I’m just gonna lie down and stare at the ceiling.

This evening’s definitely looking up

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BD_4
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are people always avoiding the fan facing the ceiling?

Because they're afraid of it blowing up.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/goldenfire123
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Ceilings aren’t my favorite part of a house,

But they’re definitely up there.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gladhandz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
A man walks into a bar and sees a steak hanging from the ceiling.

He asks the bartender, "Why is there a piece of steak hanging from the ceiling?

The bartender replies, "If somebody jumps and manages to hit the steak, all drinks will be free for the entire night. However, if somebody tries and misses, they will have to buy drinks for everybody else for the entire night. Would you like to try?"

The man thinks about it and replies, "No thanks, the stakes are too high."

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/generatedmax
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2018
🚨︎ report
I was just looking at my ceiling. Not sure if it’s the best ceiling in the world,

but it’s definitely up there.

πŸ‘︎ 132
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πŸ‘€︎ u/udrys
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
🚨︎ report
An old man lay dying under the ceiling fan which had the bearing of a military helicopter airily surveying the aftermath of a natural disaster.

Surrounded by his son, his twin daughters and a haggard-looking nurse who looked about ready to end it all if only she could find the bloody switch, he was finally breathing his last.

His son, who loved him dearly and wasn't at all sure if he had been cut out of the will or not, burst into tears at the plight of a man who would look more at home in a red woolly outfit than he ever could in drab, white linen.

"I do not wish to die today, Anthony", he intoned fixing his gaze slightly above his son's left shoulder, "there is something you must do to save me."

"Tell me what to do dad, I can't bear to look at you this way", cried Anthony.

"There is a land, not far from here, where no one ever dies. It is not for dying you see. That is where I must go."

"Where is this place father? Tell me, and I shall take you to it."

"Take me there now", he said faintly as if in great pain, "Take me to, The Living Room."

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LazyLeo1337
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2018
🚨︎ report
I don't know if my ceiling is the best ceiling.

But it's definitely up there.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mudpucket1969
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2018
🚨︎ report
The walls might not have eyes but the ceiling has two!
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jakchrizt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve been looking at the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, and although I’m not sure whether it’s the best in the world...

...It’s definitely up there.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
🚨︎ report
To the people who put dartboards on the ceiling

You make me want to throw up

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
🚨︎ report
One day i found a ceiling tile

On the ground cry so i took it home and fed it and loved it as my child. When the tile moved out I was alone and asked myself "what do I do now my whole life was about raising the roof"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sherrerluck
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
🚨︎ report
β€œHey you see that ceiling, it’s not the best ceiling i’ve ever seen but

it’s up there.”

πŸ‘︎ 245
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πŸ‘€︎ u/npg33
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
🚨︎ report
I was tuning a guitar. While doing this one of the stings snapped in half perfectly. I took one half and stretched It out. I managed to get it on. One problem though. As soon as I played it shot straight to the ceiling.

I’d never heard or seen such a high note.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blueparasites
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the ceiling fan say?

WOOHOO! YEAH NO. 1! GO CEILING!

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toe_Tapper
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2017
🚨︎ report
My chef just told me there was a massive leak in the kitchen ceiling.
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/giveen
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2018
🚨︎ report
I was mounting a ceiling fan, and yelled β€œoh no!”

β€œI screwed up!”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rickroy37
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call robots hanging off the ceiling?

Robats

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-mr-_-robot-
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I woke up this morning to find my smartphone flying around on the ceiling...

...I must have left it in Aeroplane Mode.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pcglightyear
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Kids, I don't know if our ceiling is the best ceiling...

...but it's definitely up there.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2016
🚨︎ report
I’ve just been looking at our ceiling, kids, and while I wouldn’t say it’s the best in the world…

It’s definitely up there…

πŸ‘︎ 374
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2017
🚨︎ report
My friend misspelled the word ceiling and all I could think was
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gaypluto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Beef hanging from a butcher's ceiling is a cut above the rest.
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Last night I was looking up at my ceiling.

Not sure its the best ceiling in the world, but it's up there.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dexpey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2018
🚨︎ report
Apparently, gluing books to your ceiling is a good way to enhance your learning.

I've been reading up.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2018
🚨︎ report
I hired a carpenter, but she'll only work on the walls, ceiling joists, doorframes, and windows.

Apparently floors are beneath her.

πŸ‘︎ 426
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nemo_sum
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2017
🚨︎ report
I stared at the ceiling bulb glowing for a long time

It was the high-light of my life.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AbelianTensor
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2018
🚨︎ report
I was looking at my ceiling last night. I certainly don't think it's the best.

But it's up there.

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGreatWhiteMo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2017
🚨︎ report
Hexual Ceiling imgur.com/a/KqkfN
πŸ‘︎ 182
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Incarcerated12
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2016
🚨︎ report
A YouTuber and his son walk up to a gigantic ceiling fan. The Youtuber says:

"Look, son! Its my biggest fan!"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_-Sponge-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Seen on the ceiling of a Chicago train. imgur.com/NkzxT9i
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarthEwok42
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2017
🚨︎ report
I bought a ceiling fan the other day.

Complete waste of money. All he does is stand there applauding and saying he loves how smooth it is.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/keithasaurus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2018
🚨︎ report
I saw my dog on the ceiling

All he’s saying is roof.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ibbit0
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2018
🚨︎ report
A man walks into a bar and sees two pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling... reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aregoma
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2018
🚨︎ report
People who visit the Sistine Chapel are literally ceiling fans
πŸ‘︎ 171
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CallMeFifi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2017
🚨︎ report
Ceiling would be a cool name for a band.

People who like it would be Ceiling fans.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sebovzeoueb
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2016
🚨︎ report
Ceilings, ceilings, I'm your fan; if you can spin it, so I can! imgur.com/Zgw6pQn
πŸ‘︎ 129
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Miltonidiom
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2015
🚨︎ report
As a dad-to-be, you guys may often find me looking at the ceiling.

Just a head's-up.

πŸ‘︎ 110
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πŸ‘€︎ u/V13Axel
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2015
🚨︎ report
Looking at the ceiling

I'm just looking at my ceiling... Not sure if it's the best ceiling in the world, but...

It's right up there.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billytkid
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2017
🚨︎ report
3 pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling
πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThePurpleArrow
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2015
🚨︎ report
Found my fiancee's hair on the ceiling in the bathroom

I asked her how does it even get up there?? She replied, "Hot hair rises."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mariomonster20
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2017
🚨︎ report
My dad saw a woman leaving a yard sale with a ceiling fan..

"here she comes, with her biggest fan!"

πŸ‘︎ 106
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slemonatealemon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2013
🚨︎ report
What did the desk fan think of the ceiling fan?

It wasn't a big fan.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AmeliaLeah
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2016
🚨︎ report
So my dad was fixing a ceiling fan today and my mom said if she turned on the fan it would cut off his little head.

"No, that's my big head." he replied.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nman68
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2015
🚨︎ report
My costume this year. I just held up this notebook. I was a ceiling fan.
πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LlyodBraun
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2013
🚨︎ report
Why do they call the ceiling a ceiling?

Because when you put a roof over the house, you're sealing it shut.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WizRed
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2015
🚨︎ report
My daughter said that her ceiling fan died last night...

I quickly responded with "I bet it's last words were: Don't forget me, I was your biggest fan" My daughter let out a loud sigh while started laughing.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aztek9
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2014
🚨︎ report
Have you heard the joke about the ceiling?

That's because it would go over your head.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/timtamtucker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2013
🚨︎ report
My father-in-law helped me install a ceiling fan today.

"All right," he said. "One more and you can start a fan club!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danchan22
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2014
🚨︎ report
I walked into a bank, pointed a long, thin piece of wood at the ceiling and shouted…

"This is a stick up!"

πŸ‘︎ 345
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I was looking at my ceiling

It’s not the best ceiling in the world, but it’s up there

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cmaffeo3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2018
🚨︎ report

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