My Dad works in the ceiling fan industry

He says it's Fantastic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/junkboatfloozy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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I was just looking at my ceiling

Not sure if it’s the best ceiling in the world, but it’s definitely up there.

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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I bought a ceiling fan the other day.. COMPLETE WASTE OF MONEY!

He just stands there applauding and saying β€œOoh, I love how smooth it is”

πŸ‘︎ 469
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlintTheDad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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A guy walks into a bar and sees 3 pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling

Guy:"Whats this about?" Bartender:"Well, if you can jump up and slap the meat, you get free drinks for the rest of the night. If you miss, you pay for everyones drinks for the next hour. You wanna do it? Guy:"Nah, the steaks are too high."

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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I bought a ceiling fan the other day...

All he does is stand clapping at the roof

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πŸ‘€︎ u/juicy-tomato
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
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You know, I was looking at our ceiling the other day. It’s not the best...

But it’s up there.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Erbearlee
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
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I've just had a mirror fixed to my bedroom ceiling...

....so I can see my wife having a headache.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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i went to a restaurant and the waitress threw a piece of meat on the ceiling. she offered me $100 to go and get it off and i replied:

No, the steaks are too high!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mferrari24
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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I'm not sure if my ceiling is the best i've ever had

but it's certainly up there.

πŸ‘︎ 394
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
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Painting my ceiling isn't exactly #1 on my priority list.

But it's up there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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What kind of nut is attached to the ceiling?

A Wall-nut. From my 8 year old son tonight. I am so proud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ilovecostcohotdog
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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Auditoriums are specially designed so that sound will bounce around the walls and ceiling in order to be projected to the audience. However, if you place a pigeon on the stage, the coo of said pigeon will not bounce.

This is because of a-coo-sticks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nebulas-Entity
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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You know you're an adult when you look at the ceiling after hearing a dad joke

Because you groan-up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zigbigidorlu
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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Found out I’m allergic to ceiling mounted dart boards...

They always make me throw up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Subtle_Static
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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We moved to a second floor apartment with ceiling fans.

I can now say I have fans in high places.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UchihaSasuke019
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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My local pub has put a dartboard on the ceiling

Makes me want to throw up!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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I found mushrooms growing from the bathroom ceiling in my NYC apartment (typical) and called my dad to see what I should do about it.

He immediately said, β€œWell, I wouldn’t eat them.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/banananabby
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
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I walked into a bank, pointed a long, thin piece of wood at the ceiling and shouted…

"This is a stick up!"

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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There are 4 lizards chilling in the ceiling, one of them did a back flip. How many are left in the ceiling?

None, as the rest clapped and cheered.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jumpman707
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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You know, my ceiling is pretty good

It’s not the best, but it is up there

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlabamaMayan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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Had to replace all the bulbs in the side table lamps. Then I had to replace the ones in my ceiling fan.

That was the highlight of my day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrisonMike1111
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
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My wife wanted to buy a ceiling light. She said, β€œthis one comes with a hanging chain but I think we should just mount it flush with the ceiling.”

I said, β€œthat would be off the chain.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
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A guy walks into a bar and sees 3 pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. The guy asks, "What's this about?"

The bartender replies, "Well, if you can jump up and slap the meat, you get free drinks for the rest of the night. If you miss, you pay for everyone's drinks for the next hour. You wanna do it?"

The guy replies, "Nah, the steaks are too high."

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/REPOST_STRANGLER
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2018
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If I started a band called β€œCeiling”...

Would that make the people who enjoy my music β€œCeiling Fans”?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OriginGodYog
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
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The ceiling is one of my favourites.

It’s not the best, but it’s up there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SowwieWhopper
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
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What sound do ceiling fans make?

CEILING! CEILING! CEILING! CEILING!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theoxilus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
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A man walks into a bar and sees a steak hanging from the ceiling.

He asks the bartender, "Why is there a piece of steak hanging from the ceiling?

The bartender replies, "If somebody jumps and manages to hit the steak, all drinks will be free for the entire night. However, if somebody tries and misses, they will have to buy drinks for everybody else for the entire night. Would you like to try?"

The man thinks about it and replies, "No thanks, the stakes are too high."

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/generatedmax
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2018
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An homage to a one-time teen star suspended from the Muppet*Vision ceiling, Disney World
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
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I was trying to change a lightbulb in the ceiling fan

My wife saw me struggling to reach it since it was pretty high up.

She said, "Let me get something for you to stand on. Do you prefer the ladder or the step stool?"

I said, "I'll take the latter."

So she brought me the step stool, just like I asked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dt7693
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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I love my local team so much I hang from the ceiling and spin around.

I'm a big fan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bryanBr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
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An old man lay dying under the ceiling fan which had the bearing of a military helicopter airily surveying the aftermath of a natural disaster.

Surrounded by his son, his twin daughters and a haggard-looking nurse who looked about ready to end it all if only she could find the bloody switch, he was finally breathing his last.

His son, who loved him dearly and wasn't at all sure if he had been cut out of the will or not, burst into tears at the plight of a man who would look more at home in a red woolly outfit than he ever could in drab, white linen.

"I do not wish to die today, Anthony", he intoned fixing his gaze slightly above his son's left shoulder, "there is something you must do to save me."

"Tell me what to do dad, I can't bear to look at you this way", cried Anthony.

"There is a land, not far from here, where no one ever dies. It is not for dying you see. That is where I must go."

"Where is this place father? Tell me, and I shall take you to it."

"Take me there now", he said faintly as if in great pain, "Take me to, The Living Room."

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LazyLeo1337
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2018
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Anyone can dance on the ceiling...

If they just stick to it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bcarD83
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
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I don't know if my ceiling is the best ceiling.

But it's definitely up there.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mudpucket1969
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2018
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I bought a ceiling fan the other day

Complete waist of money. He just kept saying β€œI love how smooth it is”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/explodingmelon222
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
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I once knew a guy whose entire career was based around rating the best ceilings for different houses. Ever day he researched the available options and what was best and worst about them.

He was a ceiling fan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/linknt01
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
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Man walks into a butcher store and sees a side of beef strapped to the ceiling. As he approaches the counter he asked asks β€œHey, what’s with the beef?”

Butcher tells him if he can jump up and touch it, he gets half off his purchase. If not, he pays double. The man looks up at the beef and says,

β€œNah. The steaks are too high.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tkl15
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
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Ceilings aren’t my favorite part of a house,

But they’re definitely up there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gladhandz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
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I’m exhausted! When I get home from work I’m just gonna lie down and stare at the ceiling.

This evening’s definitely looking up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BD_4
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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Why are people always avoiding the fan facing the ceiling?

Because they're afraid of it blowing up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/goldenfire123
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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I’ve been looking at the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, and although I’m not sure whether it’s the best in the world...

...It’s definitely up there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
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What did the ceiling fan say?

WOOHOO! YEAH NO. 1! GO CEILING!

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toe_Tapper
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2017
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The walls might not have eyes but the ceiling has two!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jakchrizt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
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β€œHey you see that ceiling, it’s not the best ceiling i’ve ever seen but

it’s up there.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/npg33
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
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Kids, I don't know if our ceiling is the best ceiling...

...but it's definitely up there.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2016
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To the people who put dartboards on the ceiling

You make me want to throw up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
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I was just looking at my ceiling...

Not sure if it’s the best ceiling in the world, but it’s definitely up there.

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HANZ06
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I walked into a bank, pointed a long, thin piece of wood at the ceiling and shouted…

"This is a stick up!"

πŸ‘︎ 348
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
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I don't have the best ceiling in the world

But it's up there.

πŸ‘︎ 100
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joesdad65
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
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I was just looking at my ceiling. Not sure if it’s the best ceiling in the world,

but it’s definitely up there.

πŸ‘︎ 130
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πŸ‘€︎ u/udrys
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
🚨︎ report

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