If you are on the first floor of a building, and someone one the second floor is being arrested, are you...

Under arrest?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ghostgoat789
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
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What happens to you if you pee on the floor?

Urine trouble.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aksurah
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
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I asked my dad why he was cleaning the floor at 2am.

He said he was feeling sweepy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImKindaSlowSorry
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2021
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As I got out on the 11th floor, the lift operator said, "Have a good day son."

"Don't call me son, you're not my dad.!!" I said.

As the lift door closed, he looked me in the eye and said, "I brought you up, didn't I ?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
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The floor is lava!

You're an idiot gary, we're volcanologists... just get the samples!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mrslinkydragon
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2021
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Be impressed about my top-floor DIY walk-in closet for my denim wear.

You can call me a jean attic engineer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/twisted7ogic
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2021
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I had an argument with my brother about how to get to the next floor in the mall because he refused to use the stairs or the elevator

My next thought was: "Well, that escalated quickly"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blueandgoldilocks
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
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What did the feet say to the floor?

I can't stand you anymore!

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πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
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What sound do you make when you swept the floor too fast?

Broom broom

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KerkIsMe
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
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True story: I was visiting my wife in the hospital but the room didn't have a bed to lay down in so I laid down on the floor since I was tired. The nurse came in and asked "having a good time down there"?

I said "oh yeah. I'm just floored".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fireburner80
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
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I just killed a huge spider running across the floor with my shoe.

I don't care how big the spider is, no one steals my shoe!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
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If you accidentally drop ice cubes on the floor, just quietly slide it under the refrigerator.

Soon it’ll be water under the fridge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
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My wife asked me to vacuum the floor.

I said "come on, that is beneath me"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
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There was a mushroom on the first floor of my house.

Morel of the storey

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hanya_124
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
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True Story: tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.

My 4 year old said β€œmummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”

Needless to say I was in stitches.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DannyGere
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
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I dropped an egg onto a concrete floor and it didn't break.

This is because concrete floors are really hard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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Why is there so much dirt on the forest floor?

Because nature abhors a vacuum

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πŸ‘€︎ u/frasaco
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
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As much as they tried, the ladies couldn't get Mr. Peanut out onto the dance floor.

He was a bit of a wall nut.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
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I have a great joke about the floor and the roof.

It has a lot of potential.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
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What lies on the ocean floor twitching uncontrollably?

A nervous wreck

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
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Perhaps this is why wood floors are so popular these days
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToastyZ71
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
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Why did the painter shit on the floor?

It was the work of fart.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EnderiusX
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
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The banana peel forgot what it was doing on the floor.

Must’ve slipped its mind.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ConradFlick
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
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Why did the owner of the mansion put the floors of his mansion on Tinder?

He wanted them to be swept right!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wimpykidfan37
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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Was in my local gardening centre looking at outdoor floor boards when the owner asked me if I wanted decking?

Luckily I got the first punch in.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
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When I found my little son on the floor, I briefly thought a murder took place

Fortunately, it was just a kid napping.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ewormPL
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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Climbing through my window on the first floor was easy. But if it was the second floor,

That'd be a different story all together.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Retro_Lancer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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Opened the electric bill and the Wife can't understand why i'm on the floor laughing.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JJJoyce
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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A true story: My boyfriend and I were in the dairy aisle of the grocery store. He tosses a pack of sliced cheese into the cart it ricochets and falls to the floor. β€œKobe!” I shout. β€œNo.” He says in a disappointed tone...

...Colby

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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After achieving universal peace, the Guardians of the Galaxy settled down and opened a floor tile business.

I Am Grout

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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Wife dropped a jar of pickles upon opening the fridge; glass and pickle juice went all over the kitchen floor.

My 10 year old son: Don't worry, it's not a big dill. My wife while looking at me: -.-

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProfessorPeterr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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I went to a Roman bathroom on the 6th floor

Yes, it was the VI P room

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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What do you call a cow that fell on the floor

Ground beef

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheWeirdLama
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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I don't like your Italian marble floor.

Well That's like Europinion man

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πŸ‘€︎ u/harshamfk
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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I told my friend a joke and he fell on the floor from laughter

I guess some people cant stand jokes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OshriM
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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Woman on the floor: help! Someone call me an ambulance

Me: Hi ambulance.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/saugatRJ
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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What kind of floors do Ghosts prefer in their homes?

Bam-Boo floors.

Happy Halloween to all!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crowkiller06
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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What did the first floor say to the second floor?

I’m board.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/charons-voyage
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I β€œpea’d” on the floor.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The-TrueNugget
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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Did you hear about the neighbors floor made out of 10,000 pennies?

Looks like a hundred bucks!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theflintseeker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
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There is always something going wrong on the top floor of my house.

Id say its a problem-attic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iamchrisp
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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I feel so bad for the floor..

Everyone just walks all over it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/archiewalton09
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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Pixar is making a Finding Nemo sequel where he opens McDonald’s locations on the ocean floor.

It’s called The Flounder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whaddayagondo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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Falling from 3 floors isn’t that bad…

But 4 floors is another story.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CorbanzoBean69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
If you accidentally drop ice cubes on the floor, just gently kick them under the refrigerator.

Soon It’ll just be water under the fridge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAvacadoBandit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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LPT: If you accidentally drop ice cubes on the floor, gently slide them under your refrigerator.

Soon, it’ll be water under the fridge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report

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