Periodic Table Pun

Why is the element Sb poor? Because it is antimony.

The pun is basically about an element in the periodic table which is called antimony and whose symbol is Sb this is basically playing with words that Sb is anti-money and that's why it is poor.

Variations can be Sb is anti-capitalist. But anyways.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ganesh003
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2018
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A little periodic table pun

A little tip: When you’re out eating with friends and they ask if you want salt or not,all you gotta say is β€˜Yea’ or β€˜Na’.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kristalleis_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
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My wife asked me if I could clear the kitchen table.

I had to get a running start but I made it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BackwardsMannn
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."

"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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Wife: "Can you clear the table."

I had to get a running start, but I managed it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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I'm applying coats of varnish to the table I'm making

My brother: Jeez, How many coats do you need? I'm sure the table is warm enough already!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CodyBaanks
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
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Where can you practice multiplication tables on New Year's Eve?

Times Square.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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With the holidays near, to set a festive atmosphere at your table, be sure you have a shiny chrome plate to hold your condiment sauce. Why?

Because there is no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IranRPCV
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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Once I was in a yogurt shop minding my own business, when I heard a couple of women talking in an interesting accent at one of the nearby tables.

I glanced over and noticed that they were quite attractive. A little on the larger side, but that never stopped me before. So, yogurt cup in hand, I boldly approached their table.

β€œExcuse me,” I said, β€œI couldn’t help but overhear your conversation, and I noticed your lovely accents. Are you two ladies from Scotland by any chance?”

They immediately bristled at my question, obviously offended, and one of them snapped at me, β€œIt’s Wales!”

β€œNo offense intended,” I replied. β€œPlease allow me to try again...are you two whales from Scotland?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/schoonerw
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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My kids are asking for a ping pong table for Christmas this year, but I told them that isn’t an easy decision.

A lot of bouncing back and forth.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/schwano
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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Today I came across a note on my table signed by someone called Cayman-

I was pretty sure that he Cayman left

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotterMessi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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What's the name of a knight of the round table?

Sir Cole.

β—―

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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Who invented the round table?

Sir Cumference.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cumsock17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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I accidentally stepped on my cats tail. The cat jumped, and I ended up kicking the table pretty hard. β€œOuch!” I yelled

β€œYOU, ow?” The cat replied in disbelief. β€œME-ow”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/keller_rado
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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Just ordered a 12” wide console table to go by our entryway door.

My daughter says it will be very soothing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WOTrULookingAt
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.

He acquired his size from too much pi.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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How do you make a snooker table laugh?

Put your hand in its pocket and tickle its balls.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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My 6 yr old son has an attitude problem at the dinner table. He barely eats and always makes the rudest comments about the home-cooked food we provide him, so tonight we tried alphabet soup.

I really hope he eats his words.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fordskis
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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Before we go to bed, my wife always recites the members of the round table..

Knight after Knight.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trev2-D2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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Do you know why table cloths are the work of the devil?

Because they are made of satin

Ba-dum-tssss

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thegoldchicken
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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Today I took a single Cheerio from my son’s bowl, stared him in the eyes, placed it on the table, smashed it with my fist, and said β€œWatch out...”

β€œ...cereal killer.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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What do you call a table made out of vegetables?

A vegetable

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Petty_Pastor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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What kind of table is most likely to fall over?

An uns table. (Just made that up)

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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To the person who took my iPhone off the dinner table, when I was distracted.

I hope you face time soon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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So my daughter is clearing the table and holds her cup above her head and says "Dad look..."

"I'm breathing underwater."

I've never been prouder.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
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What's a pirate's favourite element in the periodic table?

Gold. Why would he like argon or carbon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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β€œBro who’s periodic table is this?”

Bromine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HungTDD
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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What did the skeleton waiter say to his table?

Bone AppΓ©tit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Th7rtyFour
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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My wife said she wanted a dining table ...

but for some reason she just rolled her eyes when I suggested this one

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πŸ‘€︎ u/P1h3r1e3d13
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
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Which of King Arthur's knights crafted the Round Table?

Why, Sir Cumference of course!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tremerelord
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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How the tables have turned
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sickbeatsbaby
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
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Well we can't use tables due to lockdown.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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Scientists have discovered a new element in the periodic table.

The element will be represented by the letters AH. This is of course the element of surprise.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Unikorn9
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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Lesser known Knights of the Round Table

β€œI was the knight no one expected to see on the battlefield.” - Sir Prize

β€œI shall see you around.” - Sir Cumference

β€œWe shall fight on land or sea.” - Sir Fenturf

β€œI was the knight who was afraid to fight.” - Sir Render

β€œI was the unbelievable knight.” - Sir Real

β€œI was the knight that drank too much.” - Sir Rhosis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scottspears89
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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I put an Atlanta hat on my periodic table.

I’m not afraid to brave the elements.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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How come no one at the kings table laughed when he farted?

Because noble gases don't cause reaction

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JBaczuk
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
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Which one of King Arthur's knights built the round table?

Sir Cumference

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πŸ‘€︎ u/infinitywee
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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Have you ever eaten under a standing table?

would be pretty under stand table.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yand3rech4n
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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I tried to order a table from IKEA, but I misplaced an umlaut in my search text. I got a couch instead.

So close, yet sofa.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
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What happens when a chair and a table helps out those in need?

They become charitable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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The roundest knight at the round table

was Sir Cumference

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ferkeshu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
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A German built a swimming pool around his table.

Bad um Tisch

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πŸ‘€︎ u/treenaks
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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"Dad can you take your prosthetic off the table?"

"No, I'm trying to get a leg up."

(my actual amputee father)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OnlyHere4Info
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
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I don't think she brings a lot to the table.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hilloviikot
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...

...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."

"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"

πŸ‘︎ 18k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.

He acquired his size from too much pi.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/4rn48
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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