Periodic Table Pun

Why is the element Sb poor? Because it is antimony.

The pun is basically about an element in the periodic table which is called antimony and whose symbol is Sb this is basically playing with words that Sb is anti-money and that's why it is poor.

Variations can be Sb is anti-capitalist. But anyways.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ganesh003
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2018
🚨︎ report
A little periodic table pun

A little tip: When you’re out eating with friends and they ask if you want salt or not,all you gotta say is β€˜Yea’ or β€˜Na’.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kristalleis_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
🚨︎ report
my grandfather said this today on the dinner table and i was the only one that found it hilarious for no reason at all

G : what type of apples grow on trees ?

my dumbass : idk red and green ?

G : all of them do

wheezes

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/malikbefine
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
🚨︎ report
BREAKING NEWS: Scientists launch sneak attack on the periodic table.....

Add the element of surprise.

πŸ‘︎ 875
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PensionNo8124
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
🚨︎ report
One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, 'When we were first married, you took the small piece of steak and gave me the larger.

Now you take the large one and leave me the smaller. Don't love me anymore?'

'Nonsense, darling,' replied the husband, 'you just cook better now.'

πŸ‘︎ 69
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Which one of King Arthur’s knights named the Round Table?

Sir Cumference

πŸ‘︎ 161
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Seems like he brings a lot to the table XD
πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WetSoggyTaco
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2021
🚨︎ report
If Iron is Fe in the periodic table

So does that mean Iron man is actually a Female?

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife asked if I could clear the kitchen table.

I had to get a running start but I made it.

πŸ‘︎ 393
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PensionNo8124
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2021
🚨︎ report
It was my first attempt at repairing my wobbly picnic table.

I totally nailed it.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OldGaijin65
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2021
🚨︎ report
The man who invented the revolving table was probably like:

"This is going to revolutionize tables forever!"

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tres12321
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow apart of the Knights of the Round Table?

Sir Loin

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Derpfesty
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Wookie with bad table manners?

Chewtalka

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crimson470
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2021
🚨︎ report
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."

"A TOE TRUCK!!??"

πŸ‘︎ 262
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
🚨︎ report
I went to dinner with a couple of Vikings and they kept tapping on the table and laughing. I finally asked what was so funny and they said:

β€œYou wouldn’t get it, it’s Norse code”

πŸ‘︎ 380
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/souphead420
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
🚨︎ report
I’ve just bought a Van Gogh coffee table... I know it’s genuine because . . .

it has a bit of veneer missing.

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2021
🚨︎ report
I've booked a nice table for me and my wife this Friday night

I hammered her five frames to nil last time.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RavenxMiyagi
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the cannibal say when someone nearly knocked their food off the table?

β€œDon’t worry, I got your back!”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pathrado
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2021
🚨︎ report
At my grandma’s funeral there was a bowl of her favorite candy on the table.

They were bereavements.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pippingigi
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2021
🚨︎ report
My coffee table used to be owned by Evander Hoyfield ...

I can tell because it's missing a little piece of veneer.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2021
🚨︎ report
2 women in a restaurant, when a duck walks in with a huge bunch of flowers. He places them on the table and says,

"You two ladies are so beautiful with sparkling eyes. "

One of the women stopped him, called the waiter over and said, I ordered AROMATIC duck."

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the T-Rex behind the blackjack table get arrested?

He was small arms dealing

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PlumpNuggets
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
🚨︎ report
A family is sitting at the dining room table having a nice family dinner, when suddenly...

One thing led to another, and the father and son get into a pretty heated argument.

The son stands up and storms off, headed to his room.

As he is going up the stairs, he yells down to his dad, "Jim Morrison is overrated!!!"

So, the dad screams back, "WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT SLAMMING THE DOORS?!?!?!"

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cosmocide
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
🚨︎ report
A couple were doing their work on the same table.

The husband picked up a highlighter pen and asked his wife what it was.

"A highlighter pen", said the wife.

"And what is it used for?"

"To mark important thing", the wife answered.

Then the husband drew a huge line on her forehead.

Not the best joke ever but I just came up with it and felt you could do it to your significant other.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ginks_21
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Obi-Wan Kenobi is tired of teaching dinner table etiquettes to Luke

Luke: eating with his hands

Obi-Wan: Use the fork, Luke

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Esmeralda_i
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Who was the roundest round knight of the round table?

Sir Cumferance

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Simp_For_WAHHH
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
🚨︎ report
In coal country there was a highly-regarded regional dish made from the community’s table scraps.

You can’t make it legally anymore though. A judge ruled that all the people supplying food were contributing to the delicacy of a miner.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jester57
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
🚨︎ report
A SQL query goes to a restaurant, walks up to 2 tables and says

"Can I join you?"?

πŸ‘︎ 91
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/manantyagi25
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
A German guy built a bathroom around his table

Bad um Tisch

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dutch_Midget
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Who was the fattest knight with roundest belly in King Arthur's Round Table?

Sir Cumference

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I went into the kitchen this morning and there was a "Get better soon" card on the table for me. I called out to my wife asking what it was for because I wasn't sick.

She shouted back from the other room "It's an ultimatum."

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
🚨︎ report
down under the periodic table.
πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sunflower_44
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Do you know which Knight it was who came up with the Round Table?

Sir Cumference

(My dad's a math teacher)

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hell-si
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend and I were just touring the farmer’s market - she said one of the tables had some red hot chilli peppers, and asked if I wanted some.

I said, only if they’re givin’ β€˜em away, givin’ β€˜em away, givin’ β€˜em away now.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ARCdotcom
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
🚨︎ report
β€œWell, this thing’s all screwed!” Wife shouts as the leg breaks off my handmade dining table today.

β€œDang!” I replied. β€œI really thought I’d nailed it.”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Who was the roundest of King Authur's Knights of the Round Table?

Sir Circumference. He ate too much pi!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a molecule of table salt and the late Sean Connery?

One has an ionic bond. The other was the iconic Bond.

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rossum81
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
I think i spent way too much on this table

It is just not a foldable.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/osbomh48
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
🚨︎ report
True story: So we were out today and sat at a table for some food. My 4yo asked what the holes and and notches were in the wood and my wife says β€œthey are knot holes”.

Miss4 says β€œif they are not holes, what are they?”

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DannyGere
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
🚨︎ report
How many cats does it take to fix a table?

Cats can't fix tables, but it takes one table to fix a cat.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pokebandit91
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
🚨︎ report
I bought a DIY table today. There were no instructions.

It was counter intuitive.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me if I could clear the kitchen table.

I had to get a running start but I made it!

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BackwardsMannn
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Obi-Wan is tired of teaching Luke dinner table manners

Luke: eating with hands, spilling dinner everywhere

Obi-Wan: Use the fork, Luke

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Esmeralda_i
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Which one of King Arthur’s knights build the round table?

Sir Cumference!

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xIR0NPULSE
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."

"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"

πŸ‘︎ 18k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."

"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"

πŸ‘︎ 180
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Wife: "Can you clear the table."

I had to get a running start, but I managed it.

πŸ‘︎ 103
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.