Periodic Table Pun

Why is the element Sb poor? Because it is antimony.

The pun is basically about an element in the periodic table which is called antimony and whose symbol is Sb this is basically playing with words that Sb is anti-money and that's why it is poor.

Variations can be Sb is anti-capitalist. But anyways.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ganesh003
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2018
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A little periodic table pun

A little tip: When you’re out eating with friends and they ask if you want salt or not,all you gotta say is β€˜Yea’ or β€˜Na’.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kristalleis_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
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How the tables have turned
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sickbeatsbaby
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
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So my daughter is clearing the table and holds her cup above her head and says "Dad look..."

"I'm breathing underwater."

I've never been prouder.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
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I don’t hate ALL of the periodic table.

Just elements of it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Titsonafish
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
🚨︎ report
Who was the hottest knight at the Round Table?

SirRacha

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clever_Sean
πŸ“…︎ May 21
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Had to replace all the bulbs in the side table lamps. Then I had to replace the ones in my ceiling fan.

That was the highlight of my day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrisonMike1111
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09
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So one day, my wife asked me to clear the table...

I needed a running start, but I did it.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ba71905
πŸ“…︎ May 31
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How come no one at the kings table laughed when he farted?

Because noble gases don't cause reaction

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JBaczuk
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
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Is this on the table yet?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dyspaereunia
πŸ“…︎ May 17
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Some jerk just threw a container of omega 3 tables at me from a moving car.

I'm ok, the damage was super-fish-oil.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mickd333
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
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Mum: (yells at dad) - Why is there a bloody tennis racquet on the kitchen table??

Dad: Relax love it's serving lunch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ May 31
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I was arrested for using cash that my friend gave me after I installed a new table top in his kitchen.

He gave me counter fit money.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ May 27
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(fairly certain this is original) I'm out to eat with my girl and the server tells us to scan the barcode on the table to see the menu.

After taking our order and asking if we want anything else, I point at my phone and ask if she can leave us a menu just in case.

I think I wrote my first dad joke original on something new to this changing world!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yadnivek
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
🚨︎ report
Which table fits in the fridge?

VegeTABLE

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theredditman111
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
"Dad can you take your prosthetic off the table?"

"No, I'm trying to get a leg up."

(my actual amputee father)

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OnlyHere4Info
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Who was the spiciest Knight at the round table?

Sriracha

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrvckFvmp
πŸ“…︎ May 18
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An italian is sitting at a restaurant table, with pizza on the other end.

"Pastapizza", he says to the waiter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/njuff22
πŸ“…︎ May 21
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Why do Christians in Japan always put an extra cup at the table?

For God's sake.

πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AjahnMara
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
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The chemist who created the periodic table was stumped during his process of developing the table. Suddenly, he realized:

He was missing a key element the whole time

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnthMaster7
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.

He acquired his size from too much pi.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tankerman05
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09
🚨︎ report
Who invented the round table?

Circumference.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/baconaboot
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06
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Sounds like a joke my dad would crack at the dinner table. /r/3amjokes/comments/fzt6…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yugglez
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12
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I wanted to post something here for National Periodic Table Day...

But I'm out of my element.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 07
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I also enjoy eating lunch on a periodic table
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
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I asked my family not to speak at the dinner table.

I wanted peas and quiet.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Boop108
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
🚨︎ report
Who was the last Knight of the Round Table?

Circumference

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_H3rbinator
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08
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I found a "table tennis" shirt in germany
πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DragonDrawer14
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24
🚨︎ report
The biggest knight at King Arthur’s round table was...

Sir Cumference.

He got that way by eating too much pi.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InaneJargon
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18
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I booked a table for Valentines night tonight and I just hope it goes better than last year.

We were there for about 20 minutes before my wife even potted a red.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/redwolve378
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14
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Long time to make a table haha
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
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I feel like I'm gonna choke a person one of these days by joking at the dinner table

And then get jailed for 12 months just for a man's laughter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ManWithoutModem4
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21
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How the turn tables... (Son and I argument)

Me: Do you think the world just revolves around you?!

Son: Well I am a s(u)n...

Me: ...

Sun: ...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheCrunchyToast2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19
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On Thanksgiving, why did the turkey cross the table?

To get to the other sides.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beedee0823
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25
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Guest to the waiter: β€œCan you bring me what the lady at the next table is having?” /r/Jokes/comments/ewmnrv/…
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BenderDeLorean
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31
🚨︎ report
When is it acceptable to react to a table?

Periodically.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrispyMiner
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04
🚨︎ report
Oh how the tables have turned.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcmcfat
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
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Page 44), β€œThe Periodic Table”
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πŸ‘€︎ u/davetell2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
I always eat my Kellogs at the poker table

I am a cereal gambler

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hornyonion
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18
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Dad jokes at the dinner table
  • Me: Decides to be adventurous at dinner, orders pasta with squid ink
  • My dad: β€œMy dinner is delicious, you should try some”
  • Me: β€œOnly if you try a bite of this pasta, it’s really good too”
  • My dad, who rarely tells jokes, starts smiling: β€œSo you’re suggesting a... squid pro quo?”
πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whysomanyemmas
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
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A king sat on his throne in his beautiful kingdom. Before him were three glasses set on a table. The first two are filled with water, but the third one is empty. What is the name of the king?

Phillip the 3rd

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πŸ‘€︎ u/some-tortel
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
🚨︎ report
My favorite game at the dinner table

Forkknife!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ConfidentDuck1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31
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Oh, how the tables have turned gfycat.com/likabledefinit…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jkynne
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
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Waitress at Wimpy asked us if we'd like onion rings or mozzarella sticks 'for the table'

"No thanks, I don't think the table's hungry."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZeldaFan812
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
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what type of tables can be found on farms?

vegetables

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bidiboi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
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Oh how the tables have turned gfycat.com/likabledefinit…
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/normelpersan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
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Meanwhile, at our Christmas dinner table...

Me: "So I've decided to give up studying medicine to become a yoga instructor."

Mum: gets up, pushes her chair in and leaves the dinner table

Me: "Nah, ma! Stay!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/haymalb
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
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Looking at some fake fruit on the table, my dad said, β€œoh no!”
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thebluebox3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
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I walked in on a gathering of knights sitting at a round table and eating pie.

I found the Sir conference.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/desireewhitehall
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife told me to clear the table.

It took a running start but I did it.

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/singlemother12345
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Who invented King Arthur's round table?

Sir Cumference

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SleepyWordsmith
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
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There’s a room with two tables and ten people. One table has soup, and the other table has a punch bowl. All ten people are lined up at the soup table.

Now’s when you ask: where’s the punchline?

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elizaa22
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
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I backed out of a challenge I issued my friend to a game of pool on my incomplete table.

I realised I didn’t have the balls.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yetanotherrob
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Who was the fattest knight at king Arthur's round table?

Sir cumference. He acquired his taste from eating too much pi.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/levithebun16
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
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A periodic table
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/periwinke
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2018
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I bought an accent table, but I can’t understand a word it is saying.
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
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Accidentally used a dirty cloth to try and clean the table.

Instant ragret.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Who made King Arthur's round table?

Circumference.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheNukedPotato
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the name of that plastic table in the middle of the pizza called?

Noid Avoider.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Which knight made the Round Table?

Sir Cumference

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Frauli
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My niece turned the tables on me this time

Niece: What is the favorite drink of a cow? Smoooothie.

I have never been so proud of my niece.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I hate using a desk & a table at the same time in school.

Multiplication sucks.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshP99
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
A man is at a job interview and the interviewer asks him β€œSo why do you think you’d make a good waiter” and the man replied β€œWell, I think I could bring a lot to the table”
πŸ‘︎ 73
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CHEEZY_21
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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I tried to change the wood of my table but got yelled at

I was just trying to spruce things up

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cauanguy1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
The waiter brought our food to the table. He placed my delicious-looking fajita plate in front of me and said, "Careful, this is gonna be hot"

So I asked him, "When?"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CactusPearl21
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Who created the round table?

Sir Cumferance

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dr-cereal
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was Han Solo crying at the dinner table?

Because the meat was Chewie.

πŸ‘︎ 392
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
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Where do the knights of the round table have their annual gatherings?

At the Sir-conference

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mitcheg3k
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
🚨︎ report
A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here." The string goes back to his table. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. He walks back up to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender squints at hi
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
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What did the somatic cell say to its sister after it banged its toe against the table?

Ow mitosis!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pikachuusethunda
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Someone cut a periodic table in half and the while neighborhood exploded

Shouldn’t have been splitting atoms

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RoYaL_Lucifer69
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
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I’m tired of looking at this table.
πŸ‘︎ 168
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πŸ‘€︎ u/___jimenez__
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
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I saw a table book about about anvils recently.

I just couldn't pick it up.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nafn_mitt_er_kex
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
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My wife bought me a two-legged table. I pretended to like it.

But the truth is, I can't stand it.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SayLittleDoMuch
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
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A vegan and a carnivore eat at the same table but don't argue.

Because they don't have beef for each other.

Credits: My 5 year old nephew.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_guptaji
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
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That table was worth the pun
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BLenciusMount
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
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I bought a coffee table but I might send it back.

It doesn't taste anything like coffee.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
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I forgot that I had stashed a small rounded bread from dinner in my back pocket when I sat down at the roulette table... I immediately started winning!

I was on a roll!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
🚨︎ report
So my GF and I were talking about the periodic table today:

Me: Do you know the symbol for Potassium?

GF: Let me think about it....

Me: K.

GF: No seriously don't tell me.

Me: K.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Santiago__Dunbar
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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My son told a joke about Africa at the dinner table

I said "Kenya not?".

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MalOWare
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Put together a table in my room for the kitchen, now the table doesn’t fit through the door...one could say the tables have been turned
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dharmabummin
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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If I’m at a rock concert and give the merch table a $100 bill, would the cashier be Breaking Benjamin?
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Working the poker table at the casino with my new prosthetic hand is going to be a challenge,

But I’ll learn to deal with it.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gladhandz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
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I asked my dad if he knew what the symbol for Sodium was on the periodic table.

He said Na.

Can someone please tell me!!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrbrisco
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Afoldable table

Me: oww this is a foldable table! It will be less of a hassle getting it to the camping and its on sale!!! Friend: so overall a afoldable table!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kingm3mz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do people in the Arctic build their own tables?

No Ikea!

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leminotaur45
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
🚨︎ report
The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackTMJones
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report
The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.

He acquired his size from too much pi.

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.

He acquired his size from too much pi.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thepattato
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryannbajaj
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
🚨︎ report

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