Periodic Table Pun
Why is the element Sb poor?
Because it is antimony.
The pun is basically about an element in the periodic table which is called antimony and whose symbol is Sb this is basically playing with words that Sb is anti-money and that's why it is poor.
Variations can be Sb is anti-capitalist. But anyways.
A little periodic table pun
A little tip: When you’re out eating with friends and they ask if you want salt or not,all you gotta say is ‘Yea’ or ‘Na’.
My wife asked me if I could clear the kitchen table.
I had to get a running start but I made it!
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
Wife: "Can you clear the table."
I had to get a running start, but I managed it.
I'm applying coats of varnish to the table I'm making
My brother: Jeez, How many coats do you need? I'm sure the table is warm enough already!
Where can you practice multiplication tables on New Year's Eve?
With the holidays near, to set a festive atmosphere at your table, be sure you have a shiny chrome plate to hold your condiment sauce. Why?
Because there is no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.
Once I was in a yogurt shop minding my own business, when I heard a couple of women talking in an interesting accent at one of the nearby tables.
I glanced over and noticed that they were quite attractive. A little on the larger side, but that never stopped me before. So, yogurt cup in hand, I boldly approached their table.
“Excuse me,” I said, “I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation, and I noticed your lovely accents. Are you two ladies from Scotland by any chance?”
They immediately bristled at my question, obviously offended, and one of them snapped at me, “It’s Wales!”
“No offense intended,” I replied. “Please allow me to try again...are you two whales from Scotland?”
My kids are asking for a ping pong table for Christmas this year, but I told them that isn’t an easy decision.
A lot of bouncing back and forth.
Today I came across a note on my table signed by someone called Cayman-
I was pretty sure that he Cayman left
What's the name of a knight of the round table?
Who invented the round table?
I accidentally stepped on my cats tail. The cat jumped, and I ended up kicking the table pretty hard. “Ouch!” I yelled
“YOU, ow?” The cat replied in disbelief.
“ME-ow”
Just ordered a 12” wide console table to go by our entryway door.
My daughter says it will be very soothing.
The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
How do you make a snooker table laugh?
Put your hand in its pocket and tickle its balls.
My 6 yr old son has an attitude problem at the dinner table. He barely eats and always makes the rudest comments about the home-cooked food we provide him, so tonight we tried alphabet soup.
I really hope he eats his words.
Before we go to bed, my wife always recites the members of the round table..
Do you know why table cloths are the work of the devil?
Because they are made of satin
Ba-dum-tssss
Today I took a single Cheerio from my son’s bowl, stared him in the eyes, placed it on the table, smashed it with my fist, and said “Watch out...”
What do you call a table made out of vegetables?
What kind of table is most likely to fall over?
An uns table. (Just made that up)
To the person who took my iPhone off the dinner table, when I was distracted.
I hope you face time soon.
So my daughter is clearing the table and holds her cup above her head and says "Dad look..."
"I'm breathing underwater."
I've never been prouder.
What's a pirate's favourite element in the periodic table?
Gold. Why would he like argon or carbon
“Bro who’s periodic table is this?”
What did the skeleton waiter say to his table?
My wife said she wanted a dining table ...
but for some reason she just rolled her eyes when I suggested this one
Which of King Arthur's knights crafted the Round Table?
Why, Sir Cumference of course!
How the tables have turned
Well we can't use tables due to lockdown.
Scientists have discovered a new element in the periodic table.
The element will be represented by the letters AH. This is of course the element of surprise.
Lesser known Knights of the Round Table
“I was the knight no one expected to see on the battlefield.” - Sir Prize
“I shall see you around.” - Sir Cumference
“We shall fight on land or sea.” - Sir Fenturf
“I was the knight who was afraid to fight.” - Sir Render
“I was the unbelievable knight.” - Sir Real
“I was the knight that drank too much.” - Sir Rhosis
I put an Atlanta hat on my periodic table.
I’m not afraid to brave the elements.
How come no one at the kings table laughed when he farted?
Because noble gases don't cause reaction
Which one of King Arthur's knights built the round table?
Have you ever eaten under a standing table?
would be pretty under stand table.
I tried to order a table from IKEA, but I misplaced an umlaut in my search text. I got a couch instead.
What happens when a chair and a table helps out those in need?
The roundest knight at the round table
A German built a swimming pool around his table.
"Dad can you take your prosthetic off the table?"
"No, I'm trying to get a leg up."
(my actual amputee father)
I don't think she brings a lot to the table.
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
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