Periodic Table Pun
Why is the element Sb poor?
Because it is antimony.
The pun is basically about an element in the periodic table which is called antimony and whose symbol is Sb this is basically playing with words that Sb is anti-money and that's why it is poor.
Variations can be Sb is anti-capitalist. But anyways.
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︎ Oct 18 2018
A little periodic table pun
A little tip: When youβre out eating with friends and they ask if you want salt or not,all you gotta say is βYeaβ or βNaβ.
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︎ Jan 12 2019
My wife asked me if I could clear the kitchen table.
I had to get a running start but I made it!
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︎ Nov 01 2020
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
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︎ Dec 18 2020
Wife: "Can you clear the table."
I had to get a running start, but I managed it.
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︎ Dec 16 2020
I'm applying coats of varnish to the table I'm making
My brother: Jeez, How many coats do you need? I'm sure the table is warm enough already!
Where can you practice multiplication tables on New Year's Eve?
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︎ Dec 31 2020
With the holidays near, to set a festive atmosphere at your table, be sure you have a shiny chrome plate to hold your condiment sauce. Why?
Because there is no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.
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︎ Nov 18 2020
Once I was in a yogurt shop minding my own business, when I heard a couple of women talking in an interesting accent at one of the nearby tables.
I glanced over and noticed that they were quite attractive. A little on the larger side, but that never stopped me before. So, yogurt cup in hand, I boldly approached their table.
βExcuse me,β I said, βI couldnβt help but overhear your conversation, and I noticed your lovely accents. Are you two ladies from Scotland by any chance?β
They immediately bristled at my question, obviously offended, and one of them snapped at me, βItβs Wales!β
βNo offense intended,β I replied. βPlease allow me to try again...are you two whales from Scotland?β
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︎ Dec 25 2020
My kids are asking for a ping pong table for Christmas this year, but I told them that isnβt an easy decision.
A lot of bouncing back and forth.
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︎ Nov 25 2020
Today I came across a note on my table signed by someone called Cayman-
I was pretty sure that he Cayman left
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︎ Dec 05 2020
What's the name of a knight of the round table?
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︎ Nov 14 2020
Who invented the round table?
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︎ Nov 24 2020
I accidentally stepped on my cats tail. The cat jumped, and I ended up kicking the table pretty hard. βOuch!β I yelled
βYOU, ow?β The cat replied in disbelief.
βME-owβ
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︎ Sep 27 2020
Just ordered a 12β wide console table to go by our entryway door.
My daughter says it will be very soothing.
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︎ Dec 10 2020
The fattest knight at King Arthurβs round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
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︎ Sep 21 2020
How do you make a snooker table laugh?
Put your hand in its pocket and tickle its balls.
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︎ Oct 06 2020
My 6 yr old son has an attitude problem at the dinner table. He barely eats and always makes the rudest comments about the home-cooked food we provide him, so tonight we tried alphabet soup.
I really hope he eats his words.
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︎ Nov 06 2020
Before we go to bed, my wife always recites the members of the round table..
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︎ Nov 19 2020
Do you know why table cloths are the work of the devil?
Because they are made of satin
Ba-dum-tssss
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︎ Nov 26 2020
Today I took a single Cheerio from my sonβs bowl, stared him in the eyes, placed it on the table, smashed it with my fist, and said βWatch out...β
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︎ Oct 26 2020
What do you call a table made out of vegetables?
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︎ Nov 14 2020
What kind of table is most likely to fall over?
An uns table. (Just made that up)
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︎ Sep 28 2020
To the person who took my iPhone off the dinner table, when I was distracted.
I hope you face time soon.
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︎ Nov 10 2020
So my daughter is clearing the table and holds her cup above her head and says "Dad look..."
"I'm breathing underwater."
I've never been prouder.
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︎ Apr 03 2020
What's a pirate's favourite element in the periodic table?
Gold. Why would he like argon or carbon
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︎ Nov 01 2020
βBro whoβs periodic table is this?β
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︎ Sep 26 2020
What did the skeleton waiter say to his table?
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︎ Oct 31 2020
My wife said she wanted a dining table ...
but for some reason she just rolled her eyes when I suggested this one
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︎ Sep 18 2020
Which of King Arthur's knights crafted the Round Table?
Why, Sir Cumference of course!
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︎ Oct 13 2020
How the tables have turned
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︎ Jun 01 2020
Well we can't use tables due to lockdown.
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︎ Aug 14 2020
Scientists have discovered a new element in the periodic table.
The element will be represented by the letters AH. This is of course the element of surprise.
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︎ Oct 13 2020
Lesser known Knights of the Round Table
βI was the knight no one expected to see on the battlefield.β - Sir Prize
βI shall see you around.β - Sir Cumference
βWe shall fight on land or sea.β - Sir Fenturf
βI was the knight who was afraid to fight.β - Sir Render
βI was the unbelievable knight.β - Sir Real
βI was the knight that drank too much.β - Sir Rhosis
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︎ Sep 05 2020
I put an Atlanta hat on my periodic table.
Iβm not afraid to brave the elements.
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︎ Oct 12 2020
How come no one at the kings table laughed when he farted?
Because noble gases don't cause reaction
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︎ Jan 10 2020
Which one of King Arthur's knights built the round table?
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︎ Sep 05 2020
Have you ever eaten under a standing table?
would be pretty under stand table.
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︎ Aug 28 2020
I tried to order a table from IKEA, but I misplaced an umlaut in my search text. I got a couch instead.
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︎ Sep 18 2020
What happens when a chair and a table helps out those in need?
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︎ Sep 20 2020
The roundest knight at the round table
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︎ Jul 11 2020
A German built a swimming pool around his table.
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︎ Sep 04 2020
"Dad can you take your prosthetic off the table?"
"No, I'm trying to get a leg up."
(my actual amputee father)
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︎ Dec 16 2019
I don't think she brings a lot to the table.
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︎ Jul 22 2020
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
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︎ Aug 05 2020
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
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︎ Jun 22 2020
The fattest knight at King Arthurβs round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
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︎ Sep 22 2020
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