Furniture puns.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flaming-noodles
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
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A furniture pun I put in the store I decorate.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Momawss77
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2019
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Hooker Furniture
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/meow__meg
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08
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A friend told me the local furniture store had some nice stools.

Upon closer inspection of their samples, I decided they were pieces of crap.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rare_Beat
πŸ“…︎ May 12
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I heard Apple made a car out of furniture.

It's called an Ikia

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πŸ“…︎ May 19
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The salesman at the furniture store told me, β€œThis sofa will seat 5 people without any problems.”

I said, β€œWhere the hell am I going to find 5 people without any problems?”

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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As we drove past Ikea, my dad began one of his rants β€œWhy do people want Swedish furniture? The fancy closet in my bedroom was built by a good ol’ fashioned local carpenter, none of this foreign import rubbish!” He was surprisingly vocal...

For a closet racist.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dongwaffler
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24
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I love my furniture...

Me and my recliner go way back.

πŸ‘︎ 304
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
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What could a furniture store call examples of seats for kitchen islands or bars?

Stool samples!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AndySkibba
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06
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Whenever I assemble my IKEA furniture I always seek the advice of a friend.

His name is Manuel.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gherkinstein
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31
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What's the most popular kind of furniture in Ireland?

Paddy O'Furniture.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wimpykidfan37
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05
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The furniture store called me back yet again

all I wanted was that one night stand tho...

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shaystibelman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25
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I stubbed my toe onto a piece of furniture.

C-ouch.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wilsoca
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05
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How is a shoddy furniture manufacturer like a bag of prunes?

They both create loose stools.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phasmus
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04
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The furniture store keeps calling me.

But I only wanted one nightstand

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedMusical
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
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This furniture store won’t stop calling me...

I don’t know why. I said I only wanted one night stand.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/applejamberry
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08
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I know a good joke about Ikea furniture

But I'm still putting it together

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/luridfox
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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There's a group of guys that assemble wooden furniture for fun.

I hope they let me join.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alawibaba
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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My great uncle died from drinking furniture polish

It was a slow death, but a beautiful finish.

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/towntown1337
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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What do you call a furniture store that isover 30 km away?

The Sofa-r store

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/all_knowing_john
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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Do you know what someone says when they have no access to Swedish furniture stores?

I have no IKEA

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cornelius_M
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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Did you hear the was a fire at a used furniture store and two people died next door?

It was due the second hand smoke

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kishenoy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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My girlfriend said we needed to have a serious talk about my obsession with furniture

I said we could table it for now.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PhoDeNguyen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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Hooker furniture
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JaeS24
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
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I thought I won the argument with my wife as to how to arrange the dining room furniture...

But when I got home, the tables were turned...

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
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Saw this at work today on a furniture piece
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/outerjuice
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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Do you think anyone will buy the new furniture made by Apple?

iWood

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/derpy_ninetales
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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Man, I gotta say... I really love my furniture

Me and my recliner go way back

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_joshi_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
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Why is IKEA the cheapest place to get furniture?

Because they have some Swede deals!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CorbanzoBean69
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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Which Country Music Singer's name do you say when you're moving furniture past someone?

Dolly Pardon.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThumbFuNinja
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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My son walked into the living room only to find me looking around all misty eyed. Reluctantly, he asked, "What's up pop?" I blubbered, "My boy, I really love our furniture..."

"Me and my recliner go way back."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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My uncle was a ventriloquist dummy. He died drinking furniture polish.

It was a slow death but a beautiful finish.

Heard this one on Whose Line last night. Credit to Ryan Stiles.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mosk915
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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Every time I enter a room, I write down my name on a piece of paper and stick it behind some furniture.

That’s my signature move.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
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Athletic Furniture
πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fawaffle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
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I hired a group of protestant religious sect members to haul my furniture to my new house...

They were movers and Shakers.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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The salesman at the furniture store told me, β€œThis sofa will seat 5 people without any problems.”

I said, β€œWhere the hell am I going to find 5 people without any problems?”

πŸ‘︎ 649
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
🚨︎ report
The salesman at the furniture store told me, "This sofa will seat 5 people without any problem."

I said, "Where the fuck am I going to find 5 people without any problems?"

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19
🚨︎ report
What could a furniture store call examples of seats for kitchen islands or bars?

Stool Samples.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AndySkibba
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06
🚨︎ report
I love my furniture...

Me and my recliner go way back.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
🚨︎ report
A furniture store keeps calling me.

All i wanted was one night stand.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hannahunfiltered
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24
🚨︎ report
My uncle died due to drinking furniture polish...

...it was a slow death, but a beautiful finish

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gingernuts13
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A furniture store keeps calling me..

All I wanted was one night stand.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bdecker93
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
My local furniture store keeps calling me but...

All I wanted was one night stand

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hypeaze
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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A girl at the furniture store keeps calling me.

All I wanted was one night stand

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I thought I won an argument with my wife on how to arrange the dining room furniture

But when I got home the tables were turned.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ubadishnard
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
A furniture store keeps calling me...

All I wanted was one night stand.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rectalspasm
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
🚨︎ report
A furniture store keeps calling me

All i wanted is a one night stand

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeletedForSpamm
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
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