Furniture puns.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flaming-noodles
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
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A furniture pun I put in the store I decorate.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Momawss77
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2019
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The salesman at the furniture store told me, β€œThis sofa will seat 5 people without any problems.”

I said, β€œWhere the hell am I going to find 5 people without any problems?”

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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The furniture store keeps calling me.

But I only wanted one nightstand

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedMusical
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
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I know a good joke about Ikea furniture

But I'm still putting it together

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/luridfox
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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There's a group of guys that assemble wooden furniture for fun.

I hope they let me join.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alawibaba
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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Do you know what someone says when they have no access to Swedish furniture stores?

I have no IKEA

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cornelius_M
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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What do you call a furniture store that isover 30 km away?

The Sofa-r store

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/all_knowing_john
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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Did you hear the was a fire at a used furniture store and two people died next door?

It was due the second hand smoke

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kishenoy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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My great uncle died from drinking furniture polish

It was a slow death, but a beautiful finish.

πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/towntown1337
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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My girlfriend said we needed to have a serious talk about my obsession with furniture

I said we could table it for now.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PhoDeNguyen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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My uncle died due to drinking furniture polish...

...it was a slow death, but a beautiful finish

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gingernuts13
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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Man, I gotta say... I really love my furniture

Me and my recliner go way back

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_joshi_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
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Which Country Music Singer's name do you say when you're moving furniture past someone?

Dolly Pardon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThumbFuNinja
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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Why is IKEA the cheapest place to get furniture?

Because they have some Swede deals!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CorbanzoBean69
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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Saw this at work today on a furniture piece
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πŸ‘€︎ u/outerjuice
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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A furniture store keeps calling me..

All I wanted was one night stand.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bdecker93
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
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Do you think anyone will buy the new furniture made by Apple?

iWood

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/derpy_ninetales
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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My local furniture store keeps calling me but...

All I wanted was one night stand

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hypeaze
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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I thought I won the argument with my wife as to how to arrange the dining room furniture...

But when I got home, the tables were turned...

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
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My son walked into the living room only to find me looking around all misty eyed. Reluctantly, he asked, "What's up pop?" I blubbered, "My boy, I really love our furniture..."

"Me and my recliner go way back."

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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Hooker furniture
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JaeS24
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
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A girl at the furniture store keeps calling me.

All I wanted was one night stand

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
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My uncle was a ventriloquist dummy. He died drinking furniture polish.

It was a slow death but a beautiful finish.

Heard this one on Whose Line last night. Credit to Ryan Stiles.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mosk915
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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Every time I enter a room, I write down my name on a piece of paper and stick it behind some furniture.

That’s my signature move.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
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I hired a group of protestant religious sect members to haul my furniture to my new house...

They were movers and Shakers.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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What does a shady furniture salesman sell?

Bunk beds

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DonVonTaters_IV
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
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I Pledge to clean all my furniture.

I'm serious.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zaxxonn26
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
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Where do dead terrorists buy their furniture?!!!

Silence!... IKEA!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/steelkamote
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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Athletic Furniture
πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fawaffle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
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My furniture and I are really close

My recliner and I go way back.

πŸ‘︎ 96
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GamerDad87
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
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I used to upholster furniture for a living and hated it. My boss switched me to packing for a while then switched me back. I hate it so bad I have to go to a support group. Talking helps me to do the damned job.

I'm in recovery.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
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Have you heard about the new line of Beastie Boys DIY furniture? It comes with everything for step 2 and beyond.

But you gotta fight! For your right! To part A!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/claire_lair
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
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Tree: Hey, Boulder, what do you think I should be when I grow up? Boulder: You would make a wonderful bedroom furniture set.

Tree: Yes. Yes I wood. Thanks Boulder, you rock.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/baconaboot
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
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Thought I won an argument with my wife about how to rearrange our furniture..... reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/G0THAMW0RK
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
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I decided to make my own furniture

Sofa it is going well

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/endangeredpenguin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
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Did you hear that Jeff Bezos changed his name to Richard and started a living room furniture empire?

I guess you can do anything if you're Sofa King Rich.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Perrin42
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
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IKEA furniture
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vorst17735
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2019
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What do you call a city without a Swedish furniture store?

I have no IKEA

πŸ‘︎ 105
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aka_acronym
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
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So i brought home a piece of furniture last night...

but it left in the morning without saying a word. It was one nightstand.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
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I keep giving away furniture to the poor

I'm very chairatable.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoCool21
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
🚨︎ report
The salesman at the furniture store told me, β€œThis sofa will seat 5 people without any problems.”

I said, β€œWhere the hell am I going to find 5 people without any problems?”

πŸ‘︎ 636
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
🚨︎ report
I thought I won an argument with my wife on how to arrange the dining room furniture

But when I got home the tables were turned.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ubadishnard
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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A furniture store keeps calling me

All i wanted is a one night stand

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeletedForSpamm
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
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Man, I really love my furniture.

Me and my recliner go way back

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/baguettesniper
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
🚨︎ report
A furniture store keeps calling me...

All I wanted was one night stand.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rectalspasm
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
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I thought I won the argument with my wife as to how to arrange the dining room furniture.

But when I got home, the tables were turned .

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2018
🚨︎ report

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