I hired an ex-pilot to do some painting in my house
He's actually pretty good! He made a great job of the landing.
ποΈ 12
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οΈ Jan 15 2021
Did this painting for my friend (far right) who is a huge Pittsburgh steelers fan. His favorite player is Troy Polamalu... And he likes puns. That's me in the middle.l in my favorite jumper. Thoughts???
reddit.com/gallery/kkbp9y
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Dec 26 2020
The competitive painting contest was an abject failure
ποΈ 9
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οΈ Jan 02 2021
What do you call a person who made a painting with soup?
ποΈ 8
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οΈ Dec 08 2020
I went to the museum and saw a painting of a criminal, who claimed his innocence and insisted the police planted evidence.
ποΈ 30
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οΈ Nov 22 2020
Painting a Church
A painter is desperate and bids low for a contract to paint the outside of a church. He figures he could still make a profit by adding water to the paint. He wins the contract.
He goes out one sunny day and after a long day's work, he finishes. Thunder cracks and the rain washes away the paint. A voice from the sky booms, "Repaint and thin no more!"
ποΈ 10
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οΈ Nov 04 2020
What did the painting say to the wall?
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Dec 01 2020
My friend has a business painting rooftops.
You need to book now while his service is on the house.
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Nov 25 2020
Why did the painting smell so bad
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Nov 30 2020
Did you know Michelangelo didnβt paint a single painting?
ποΈ 4
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οΈ Nov 14 2020
Painting my ceiling isn't exactly #1 on my priority list.
ποΈ 19
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οΈ Sep 30 2020
What do you call a painting cat?
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Sep 12 2020
I was on a game show and the final question was "What do you call a 3D painting made out of plaster?" I couldn't think of the answer and I was worried I'd lose all of the money. Then I got it right!
ποΈ 5
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οΈ Sep 19 2020
Imagine how tired Michelangelo was by the time he had finished painting..
ποΈ 9
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οΈ Sep 08 2020
They caught me selling knockoff paintings from the back of my Honda Odyssey, so they impounded my car.
It was really sad to see my Van Gogh.
BONUS-
I head back to the Honda dealership to purchase a truck, but instead I Tacoma Toyota.
ποΈ 5
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οΈ Jul 19 2020
Why does God look so ripped on all paintings?
Because he was the body builder.
ποΈ 34
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οΈ Jun 09 2020
I just read in the newspaper: "Painting stolen from art museum found by a set of dustbins."
Those dustbins must be very intelligent.
ποΈ 14
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οΈ Jul 17 2020
While waiting in the lobby of a Chinese restaurant, Don was admiring a painting on the wall of a Chinese sailing vessel and said to his friend Mike: βIsnβt that a great looking ship?β Mike replied:
ποΈ 4
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οΈ Aug 11 2020
A friend of mine tries to impress girls by drawing realistic paintings of the Ford F-150.
ποΈ 8k
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οΈ Jun 07 2019
Do you know what I called the painting when I moved out at 18 years old?
The Decoration of Independence.
-My partner's joke.
ποΈ 8
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οΈ Jul 16 2020
Painting some fun while I'm stuck in the house!
ποΈ 55
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οΈ Mar 16 2020
What do you call a pirate who does interior painting?
ποΈ 8
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οΈ Jun 19 2020
We just bought a painting by a farmer who only creates art of cows and horses.
His name is Oscar Moo-neigh.
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Jul 02 2020
I saw a really ugly painting in the museum
turns out, it was a mirror.
ποΈ 3
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οΈ May 25 2020
If a painter records videos of himself painting and posts them on social media,
is he considered a recording artist?
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Jun 14 2020
I've got to do some painting tomorrow.
So I decided to brush up on the basics.
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Jun 01 2020
My friend was arrested by the cops for spray painting graffiti, and he tried to deny that he did it.
But the writing was on the wall.
ποΈ 24
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οΈ Feb 16 2020
I was at the museum and saw a painting of a bowl, with milk and some kind of food inside.
ποΈ 154
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οΈ Dec 11 2019
Prince Charles was mistaken for a collection of orca paintings.
He is the prints of whales.
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Apr 03 2020
If Harry decided to take up painting now heβs stepped back from the royal family...
...he would be the artist formerly known as Prince.
ποΈ 62
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οΈ Jan 19 2020
Why did Sweden start painting barcodes on the sides of their battleships?
So they could Scandinavian.
ποΈ 34
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οΈ Nov 17 2019
So the Norwegian Navy is painting their ships with a bar code pattern
So when then come into port, they can Scandanavian
ποΈ 20
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οΈ Feb 03 2020
My dad told me to finish his bird painting. He painted the head, torso and legs.
To be honest, I just winged it.
ποΈ 68
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οΈ Aug 04 2019
I was almost arrested for spray painting a grocery store with my best comic sans.
Fortunately, we talked it over and agreed that I would paint over it, and the day ended sans sheriff.
ποΈ 7
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οΈ Feb 04 2020
A painting I did this time last year Instagram @molkyb
ποΈ 30
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οΈ Jul 30 2019
The painting was found guilty . . .
ποΈ 42
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οΈ Oct 23 2019
So i visited a neurologic clinic that, between other mental illness, treats Alzheimer patients. This was their main lobby's painting.
ποΈ 11
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οΈ Sep 06 2019
Painting
ποΈ 47
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οΈ Jun 13 2019
I haven't had much luck dating recently so I decided to start a new hobby; painting money I get from the bank.
ποΈ 38
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οΈ Oct 15 2019
My friend is weirdly addicted to going to museums and kissing Impressionist paintings.
He puts his Monet where his mouth is.
ποΈ 8
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οΈ Dec 03 2019
Why did the pirate bury a painting of their past relationship, with their treasure?
ποΈ 7
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οΈ Nov 22 2019
I'm doing a painting of Paris at night.
Might be quicker if I do it in the daytime too.
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Nov 16 2019
Do you know how the artist died while painting?
ποΈ 16
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οΈ Jun 20 2019
The dog's name is Dali. It was between painting him as Muhammad Dali or the Dali Lama. The latter one won (2018 - 2.8m x 3m)
ποΈ 5
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οΈ Feb 17 2019
I hear they're putting all of Claude Monet's paintings in a free gallery
They're de-monet-ising his work.
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Sep 26 2019
What did the wall say to the painting?
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Dec 01 2020
Why did Sweden start painting barcodes on the sides of their battleships?
So they could Scandinavian.
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Nov 03 2019
Why did Sweden start painting barcodes on the sides of their battleships?
So they could Scandinavian.
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Oct 31 2019
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