I hired an ex-pilot to do some painting in my house

He's actually pretty good! He made a great job of the landing.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fatjesus10
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 15 2021
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Did this painting for my friend (far right) who is a huge Pittsburgh steelers fan. His favorite player is Troy Polamalu... And he likes puns. That's me in the middle.l in my favorite jumper. Thoughts??? reddit.com/gallery/kkbp9y
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/smike1981
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 26 2020
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The competitive painting contest was an abject failure

as it ended in a draw.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/vbloke
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 02 2021
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What do you call a person who made a painting with soup?

Stewart

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/presuire45
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 08 2020
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I went to the museum and saw a painting of a criminal, who claimed his innocence and insisted the police planted evidence.

The frame was remarkable

πŸ‘οΈŽ 30
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Strungen
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 22 2020
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Painting a Church

A painter is desperate and bids low for a contract to paint the outside of a church. He figures he could still make a profit by adding water to the paint. He wins the contract.

He goes out one sunny day and after a long day's work, he finishes. Thunder cracks and the rain washes away the paint. A voice from the sky booms, "Repaint and thin no more!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PerfectlyWorthwhile
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 04 2020
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What did the painting say to the wall?

I’ve got you covered!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ACommentInTheWind
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 01 2020
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My friend has a business painting rooftops.

You need to book now while his service is on the house.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Koevoet91
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 25 2020
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Why did the painting smell so bad

It was a piece ofart.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/wassup369
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 30 2020
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Did you know Michelangelo didn’t paint a single painting?

He painted loads of them

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/geoswede
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 14 2020
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Painting my ceiling isn't exactly #1 on my priority list.

But it's up there.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 30 2020
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What do you call a painting cat?

Picatso

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tiewing
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 12 2020
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I was on a game show and the final question was "What do you call a 3D painting made out of plaster?" I couldn't think of the answer and I was worried I'd lose all of the money. Then I got it right!

It was a relief

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/No_Gray_Area
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 19 2020
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Imagine how tired Michelangelo was by the time he had finished painting..

..the sixteenth Chapel

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 08 2020
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They caught me selling knockoff paintings from the back of my Honda Odyssey, so they impounded my car.

It was really sad to see my Van Gogh.

BONUS-

I head back to the Honda dealership to purchase a truck, but instead I Tacoma Toyota.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NukeyHov
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 19 2020
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Why does God look so ripped on all paintings?

Because he was the body builder.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 34
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BrazilBazil
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 09 2020
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I just read in the newspaper: "Painting stolen from art museum found by a set of dustbins."

Those dustbins must be very intelligent.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 17 2020
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While waiting in the lobby of a Chinese restaurant, Don was admiring a painting on the wall of a Chinese sailing vessel and said to his friend Mike: β€œIsn’t that a great looking ship?” Mike replied:

β€œIt’s junk”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bardbelle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 11 2020
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A friend of mine tries to impress girls by drawing realistic paintings of the Ford F-150.

He’s a pickup artist.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 07 2019
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Do you know what I called the painting when I moved out at 18 years old?

The Decoration of Independence.

-My partner's joke.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bo0pbeeb0op
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 16 2020
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Painting some fun while I'm stuck in the house!
πŸ‘οΈŽ 55
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nicky3123
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 16 2020
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What do you call a pirate who does interior painting?

A swatch-buckler

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kibsnjif935
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 19 2020
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We just bought a painting by a farmer who only creates art of cows and horses.

His name is Oscar Moo-neigh.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Duzervee
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 02 2020
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I saw a really ugly painting in the museum

turns out, it was a mirror.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/aNotSoShortName
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 25 2020
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If a painter records videos of himself painting and posts them on social media,

is he considered a recording artist?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/raaalphs
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 14 2020
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I've got to do some painting tomorrow.

So I decided to brush up on the basics.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/smithsea2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 01 2020
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My friend was arrested by the cops for spray painting graffiti, and he tried to deny that he did it.

But the writing was on the wall.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 16 2020
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I was at the museum and saw a painting of a bowl, with milk and some kind of food inside.

It was surreal.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 154
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NameTheTrait
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 11 2019
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Prince Charles was mistaken for a collection of orca paintings.

He is the prints of whales.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/changhaobyu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 03 2020
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If Harry decided to take up painting now he’s stepped back from the royal family...

...he would be the artist formerly known as Prince.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 62
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tecfrigo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 19 2020
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Why did Sweden start painting barcodes on the sides of their battleships?

So they could Scandinavian.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 34
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 17 2019
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So the Norwegian Navy is painting their ships with a bar code pattern

So when then come into port, they can Scandanavian

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ouyin2000
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 03 2020
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My dad told me to finish his bird painting. He painted the head, torso and legs.

To be honest, I just winged it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 68
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 04 2019
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I was almost arrested for spray painting a grocery store with my best comic sans.

Fortunately, we talked it over and agreed that I would paint over it, and the day ended sans sheriff.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lfantine
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 04 2020
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A painting I did this time last year Instagram @molkyb
πŸ‘οΈŽ 30
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/molkyb
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 30 2019
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The painting was found guilty . . .

and hung the next day.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 42
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 23 2019
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So i visited a neurologic clinic that, between other mental illness, treats Alzheimer patients. This was their main lobby's painting.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/XurroMaster
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 06 2019
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Painting
πŸ‘οΈŽ 47
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sonujohny
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 13 2019
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I haven't had much luck dating recently so I decided to start a new hobby; painting money I get from the bank.

I'm going to dye a loan.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 38
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DrChimp
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 15 2019
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My friend is weirdly addicted to going to museums and kissing Impressionist paintings.

He puts his Monet where his mouth is.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 03 2019
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Why did the pirate bury a painting of their past relationship, with their treasure?

Ex marks the spot.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MrHollowed
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 22 2019
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I'm doing a painting of Paris at night.

Might be quicker if I do it in the daytime too.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 16 2019
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Do you know how the artist died while painting?

They had a stroke.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Josef5050
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 20 2019
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The dog's name is Dali. It was between painting him as Muhammad Dali or the Dali Lama. The latter one won (2018 - 2.8m x 3m)
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Theanthonybrooks
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 17 2019
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I hear they're putting all of Claude Monet's paintings in a free gallery

They're de-monet-ising his work.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BearryBonds
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 26 2019
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What did the wall say to the painting?

I’ve got your back!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ACommentInTheWind
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 01 2020
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Why did Sweden start painting barcodes on the sides of their battleships?

So they could Scandinavian.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 03 2019
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Why did Sweden start painting barcodes on the sides of their battleships?

So they could Scandinavian.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 31 2019
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