Before I join a contest, I always make my dog urinate on a photograph of the other contenders.
It gives me a leg up on the competition.
My brother ran up to photograph a cow near a cliff
He said it was 'ledge and dairy.'
If you want to make easy money, just take photographs of salmon dressed in human clothes.
It’s like shooting fish in apparel.
The first photograph of a black hole was released
Rare photograph of The Milky Way viewed from Mars
I've kept photographs of all my old girlfriends
they're more attractive than the younger ones.
My neighbours, the Razzis, have more photographs hanging from their walls than anyone I’ve ever known.
Thanks to their dad, Papa Razzi.
Why can't anyone get a photograph of a grizzly with shoes or socks on?
My friend likes to stop by my wind farm and take photographs of my windmills...
He likes to shoot the breeze.
What type of photographs cost money and which ones are free?
He who eats a photograph of his dad...
...will soon be spitting image of his father.
I didn't really like the song Photograph
My camera was low on storage, so I was only able to photograph a shark attacking a seal.
My dad is a photograph enthusiast
I hate how all my fairy photographs have really bad quality.....
They're all so pixielated.
What did Cinderella say while waiting for her photographs to be developed?
"Someday my prints will come."
What did the first person in a colored photograph say?
What do you call it when a Jojo fan makes a photograph to capture the moment?
I once got beaten up by a photographer
I once raced against a Photographer in Finland
Are people born with photographic memories...
....Or do they take a while to develop ?
I have a photographic memory.
But I ran out of film in 1999.
Even though the art thief and the photographer were friends,
Neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
Did you hear about the photographer that always caught people's worst features?
She was a poor-traits artist.
What type of image format do lion photographers use?
The life of a Family Photographer isn't for me.
Every Day I shoot people, I frame them, and hang them
I spent all morning at the lake photographing birds. Enjoyable but I didn’t see a thing.
I met a pessimistic photographer the other day...
He wouldn’t stop talking about negatives.
I've often wondered, are people with photographic memories born with that ability..
..or does it just take time to develop ?
She had a photographic memory,
In a freak accident today, a photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed on him.
To be fair, the people who were being photographed did try to warn him.
Peter Parker lost his photographer job at the Daily Bugle
Now he works in web development.
What concert costs just 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback!
What was everyone saying about the photographer who got the prosthetic foot?
They got some new faux-toes
What's a photographers favourite food?
A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing.
He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.
I used to know an unpredictable photographer
he was a real loose Canon
Did you hear about the naked photographer who was taking timelapses in the Arctic?
My friend the photographer always trims the outer edges of his pictures to be curved so that every edge is equidistant from the center...
He liked making crop circles.
When I was a kid, I wanted to be a photographer.
Why are photographers so hesitant to get into a relationship?
They're interested in developing one, but can't stop focusing on all the negatives.
Today I found out hunters and photographers have a lot in common
They both sit and wait in bushes to shoot animals
Kid: how are photographers born?
Dad: Well son, when a paparazzi and a mamarazzi love each other very much...
Everyone has a photographic memory...
Some people just don’t have film.
What is the best quality to use when photographing forks?
A group of photographers went out to dinner..
As they sat at their table, taking photos of their food for social media, one of the photographers realized he hadn't been given water. He approached the bar and asked for a glassful, with which the bartender obliged. Rather than immediately leaving, he stood there and stared at the bartender for a moment before returning to his seat.
Soon enough, he found himself thirsty again, and took another trip to the bar, and once again stared at the bartender. This happened again and again throughout the night, with the bartender becoming progressively more frustrated by the photographers persistent requests for glasses of water and uncomfortable stares. Finally, on the photographers fifteenth trip, the bartender loses his cool and yells, "Take a pitcher, it'll last longer!"
If you want to make easy money, just take photographs of salmon dressed in suits, and sell them online.
It’s like shooting fish in apparel.
Are people born with a photographic memory?
Or does it take time to develop?
I have a photographic memory
It's just not developed yet
Are people born with photographic memories...
....Or do they take a while to develop?
A friend of mine is making easy money by photographing salmon dressed in human clothes.
It’s like shooting fish in apparel.
I was born with a photographic mind.
It just took some time to develop.
You can't not say it
In a freak accident today,a photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed on him.
To be fair,the people who were being photographed did try to warn him.
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