After I was arrested, my ex-wife decided to hang a picture of my mugshot on the wall in her living room.

But she still won't admit she framed me.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DestroyatronMk8
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02
🚨︎ report
My friend is making a lot of easy money by taking pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes.

It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21
🚨︎ report
Took a pretty good picture of the meteor shower a few days ago.
πŸ‘︎ 156
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ShaunRyk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13
🚨︎ report
Picture this: A pandemic is unleashed by ticks that live on and around the mouths of alpacas.

Global chaos ensues.

The disease wipes out 99% of humanity, and the desperate survivors are forced to live in a post-alpaca lip tick wasteland.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ May 01
🚨︎ report
I bought my Daughter a locket with her picture inside, for her 18th birthday..

.. just so glad She's now finally Independent.

πŸ‘︎ 147
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18
🚨︎ report
This picture is killer
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChompyDino53
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18
🚨︎ report
I have an unhealthy obsession with sketching pictures of fruit.

I really need to draw the lime somewhere.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26
🚨︎ report
Picture perfect pun
πŸ‘︎ 148
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/eewoJ
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12
🚨︎ report
Tap on this picture.
πŸ‘︎ 225
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pikachuboiiiii
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19
🚨︎ report
I,was told pictures dont do well on r/dadjokes
πŸ‘︎ 208
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MixedGender
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13
🚨︎ report
My partner said that I looked constipated in our pictures

I was tryna hold my shit together

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wadesman26
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09
🚨︎ report
Why the handyman couldn't be trusted to hang some pictures?

He kept screwing everything

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/noamaon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21
🚨︎ report
What do you call a picture of the Nasdaq?

a stock photo.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19
🚨︎ report
So I used to collect those little cardboard discs with pictures on...

One time I took a bunch of them with me to Abu Dhabi and while most of them were fine one behaved very weirdly, splitting and separating like it was in the humid air of the tropics. Very strange. I even wrote a letter about it to a listings magazine, which began:

"What's On, I commend to your attention the curious incident of the POG in the dry clime."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LoneKharnivore
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25
🚨︎ report
What do you call a reptile who enjoys snapping picture of food and sunsets?

An insta-gator

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/respect-thebeard
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18
🚨︎ report
Every time I travel to a new city, I like to take a picture of myself in front of the tomes of books...

I just have to take shelfies!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27
🚨︎ report
Have you ever seen a picture of Mount Rushmore before it was carved?

It’s beauty was unpresidented.

πŸ‘︎ 883
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NighTraiN7804
πŸ“…︎ May 24
🚨︎ report
What do you call a picture of a sorcerer on an Apple product?

An iMage

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nuts_extraction
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24
🚨︎ report
Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson showed me pictures of his kids on his phone.

He was pretty sedimental.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SwimmingNaked
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28
🚨︎ report
I paint pictures of famous airplane propellers...

I'm proud of my fan art.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04
🚨︎ report
My friend tries to impress women by drawing realistic pictures of the Ford F-150.

He’s a pickup artist.

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29
🚨︎ report
A rare picture of ground in its natural habitat
πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrTomas150
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09
🚨︎ report
I always carry a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet.

I do it to remind myself why there is no money in there.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ksbalaji
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04
🚨︎ report
any crayfish puns to caption this picture
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/timthebetta
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
🚨︎ report
I’ve nether seen that Notch puns in one picture
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tiziouzou4life
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28
🚨︎ report
My friend is getting rich by taking pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes.

It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
In the Disney animated picture, Ratatouille, Remy controls Linguini actions by pulling his hair, giving him a perfect palette. The little chef’s squeak is the only other voice Linguini ever really hears at home.

I guess you could say Remy is Linguini’s voice of season

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11
🚨︎ report
I wonder who took a picture of that hose on the phone
πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AMswag123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
🚨︎ report
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.

I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
🚨︎ report
BREAKING NEWS: Someone just took a picture.

More on this story as it develops.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dashie1985
πŸ“…︎ May 17
🚨︎ report
Is it okay to put up a picture of a crucifix?

Or is cross posting not allowed?

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20
🚨︎ report
Dad: Years ago I had the opportunity to meet R.E.M., and we even took a picture together with my buddies.

Son: Where are you in the photo?

Dad: That's me in the corner.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jay-ay
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
🚨︎ report
What do you call taking a picture of your own cells under a microscope?

a Cell-fie

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Waterburst789
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13
🚨︎ report
What did the picture tell the lawyer?

Help! I’ve been framed.

πŸ‘︎ 68
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Di_Ma_Re_Bra
πŸ“…︎ May 24
🚨︎ report
Why did the picture go to jail?

It was framed!

πŸ‘︎ 72
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Eggsy_anon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24
🚨︎ report
An eskimo was showing another eskimo pictures of his house...

... The other eskimo said "That's an ice picture!".

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24
🚨︎ report
Why didn't Gordon Ramsey upvote the picture of the lamb Steak?

Because it was /r/awww

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ivytheblindhusky
πŸ“…︎ May 06
🚨︎ report
There has been some good news today as a plus-size clairvoyant announces they are releasing a charity calendar, with pictures of them in their underwear.

Fans of the psychic say that they are looking forward to seeing a large medium in smalls.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/megamouth2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
🚨︎ report
Every time I take pictures of wheat fields

...they always come out grainy.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
I heard that Marvel is now sponsoring Uncle Ben's rice and changing the picture to Peter Parker's uncle.

The new slogan is "With great power comes great rice possibilities."

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jurassicbond
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17
🚨︎ report
Have you ever seen a picture if Mt. Rushmore before the faces?

It was unpresidented beauty.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MNdwarf
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
I spent $2000 on a top-of-the-line DSLR camera to take a picture of a beautiful wheat field at sunset...

...turned out grainy.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
My friend the photographer always trims the outer edges of his pictures to be curved so that every edge is equidistant from the center...

He liked making crop circles.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16
🚨︎ report
i went to the doctor's woth my parents, and found out i have tapeworms in my stomach. the doctor showed us some pictures of tapeworms. and both my parents fainted.

i guess ive got a stomach for it

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yeeturking
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14
🚨︎ report
Tried taking a picture of my hamster in his banana hammock but he jumped out before I could take it

He did a banana split

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/itsaustinjones
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13
🚨︎ report
My friend has a cork board with a lot of pictures pinned to it...

It's really tacky.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17
🚨︎ report
I caught my dog drawing pictures...

Shouldn’t have gotten a labradoodle.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/countryroads8484
πŸ“…︎ May 22
🚨︎ report
I saw a picture of Mt. Rushmore before it was carved...

It was unpresidented.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Futureman16
πŸ“…︎ May 28
🚨︎ report
A man posted a picture of a burnt chicken he was trying to cook and said

"Burnt 300 Calories today!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SonEf_Adam
πŸ“…︎ May 28
🚨︎ report
What did the artist say after finishing his huge picture sculptured of stone?

What a big relief.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mau_lene
πŸ“…︎ May 29
🚨︎ report
I saw a picture of Mt. Rushmore before the presidents' faces were carved into it

Its natural beauty was unpresidented

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
People who aren't impressed by pictures of a Black Hole clearly don't understand the gravity of the situation.
πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sur5er
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Maria cannot upload baby Jesus picture to Instagram...

...because there's no stable internet.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/risanthy
πŸ“…︎ May 29
🚨︎ report
Why are UFO pictures always blurry?

Because if they were clear, they would be IFO

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gr8prajwalb
πŸ“…︎ May 09
🚨︎ report
I hope you like my senior pictures.

Cause the people at the retirement home did.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ May 13
🚨︎ report
This girl on Tinder asked me why I have an unlit cigarette in my picture... I told her I’m just looking for matches.
πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Conversation with dad after sending picture of baby elephant:

Me: I know that you love your elephants

Dad: If I could afford to get one.....

Me: Haha. I know you would. They grow up to eat a LOT though

Dad: I can see it now, Mom and I are old, can hardly see, no license. Get out the 'ol elephant and go shopping.😎 Would be plenty of room for groceries and stuff. Elephants have large trunks...

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sapiensdux
πŸ“…︎ May 02
🚨︎ report
How do alcoholic beverages send disappearing pictures?

Schnappchat!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
Let me tell you how I got so good at making pictures of cash....

I made many many many many many money drawings.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ocawesome101
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
I thought I recognized that picture of cows from somewhere

turns out, it was a stock photo

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
🚨︎ report
My daughter turned 18 today, so I bought her a locket and put her picture in it. As I gently placed it around her neck, chocking back the tears, I said, "Well, sweetheart, I guess you really are..."

...independent!"

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
🚨︎ report
On a picture of some carvings
πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ice-cream_kitty
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
🚨︎ report
So I asked my brother why he was wearing glasses in his new profile picture.

He replied, "because I wanted to look sharp".

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RamseyDidIt
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
🚨︎ report
I successfully put up a picture today.

I’d say I nailed it.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LilPianoBoi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
🚨︎ report
Need to get a picture next to this tree
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bflowwolf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I was walking in the Himalayan mountains when a hairy creature came into view. I was about to snap a picture but it said, "do not take a picture of me at this moment."

I saw a yet-i.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
🚨︎ report
If Post Malone died and his instagram account posted a picture of him to commemorate his death, then Post Malone would be posting a Malone post-Malone.
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OystersDryLancers
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06
🚨︎ report
[At the museum] My wife: Do you think we are allowed to take pictures?

Me: No, I think they need to stay on the wall.

πŸ‘︎ 134
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12
🚨︎ report
I picture is worth a thousand groans (found on FB)
πŸ‘︎ 96
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quietmerch64
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
🚨︎ report
The Oscar winner for Best Picture is a Bong hit.
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/centuryeyes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10
🚨︎ report
I put a picture of my daughter in a titanium locket necklace

I wanted her to be strong and independent

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend is obsessed with taking blurry pictures of himself while taking a shower.

He has serious selfie steam issues.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
🚨︎ report
A conversation from today while attending a free santa picture event at my wife's workplace.

Lady- how old is your daughter?

Me - 5

Lady - when does she turn six?

Me - on her birthday

Lady (mad that she got dadded) when is her birthday?

Me - every year.

Wife and Lady both just sigh and walk away.

Sorry for format, I'm on mobile.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/enis_with_a_p
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
🚨︎ report
i have a picture that says otherwise
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/caw_the_crow
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
What do you call your elderly male relative who’s always taking pictures?

Papa Razzi

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/42alj
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16
🚨︎ report
Acute picture of a dog
πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ssmile_z
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife was hanging 7 pictures in a row on the wall when I told her should should hang 3 over 4.

It’s created a real division in our home.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nftpc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
I just drew a really cool picture, it's half mouse and half elf

Sorry to boast, but I'm just feeling really proud of mouse-elf

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24
🚨︎ report
Why was the picture sent to prison?

It was framed.

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Picture with Dwayne The Rock Johnson
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/randomedude101
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
🚨︎ report
If you upload 1000 pictures on Instagram..

.. is it like uploading one picture in Instakilogram?

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a picture of a bookcase?

A shelfie!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
🚨︎ report
I wanted to share this picture of me throwing caution the wind (β€˜:
πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Attactions
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I tried to take a picture of a Stormtrooper today.

I missed.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IndianaTonus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Picture of my fiancee's knee cap.
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jak0shadows
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My son turned 18 today so I bought him a locket and put his picture in it...

I guess you could say I wanted him to be independent!

πŸ‘︎ 364
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
🚨︎ report
When Hurricane Dorian hits Florida, I'm going to check out my window for the clouds to get really grey. When they're at peak greyness I'll take a picture. That way Ill always have The Picture of Dorian Grey.
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife emailed me the pictures of our first date together, but I couldn’t open any of the files.

I have serious emotional attachment issues.

πŸ‘︎ 179
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the person that had the first color picture taken say?

"Color me impressed"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Icystuff
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
🚨︎ report
Why did the picture go to jail?

Because it was framed

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tankerman05
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11
🚨︎ report
Picture this...

Why did the picture go to jail

It was framed

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ninjohna
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16
🚨︎ report
When a man's daughter turned 18 today, so he bought her a locket and put her picture in it.

As he gently placed it around her neck, chocking back the tears, he said, "Well, sweetheart, I guess you really are..."

...independent!"

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I bought my daughter a locket and put her picture in it.

Now she is independent.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/coot32
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the picture go to jail?

It was framed.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dr_Trik
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
🚨︎ report

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