Wife took a picture of Doctor Hoo
Why can’t 2021 take a picture in the dark
because it doesn’t have flash
Son: "Dad, did you see pictures of that guy at the Capitol stealing Nancy Pelosi's podium? That's domestic terrorism!"
Dad: "Wrong, son. He was just taking a political stand."
True story: I sent my dad a picture of the loaf of bread I made witha bread machine. He instantly responded with :
Today, I checked out at the store, but the cashier kept taking pictures of herself with each item I was purchasing...
I'll never go thru the selfie checkout again!
I took a picture of my son sleeping earlier today.
Then I sent the picture to the FBI as evidence of a kid napping.
I put a picture of myself in a locket...
You could say, I'm Independent.
My friend hit it big taking pictures of salmon in human clothes.
He said it was like shooting fish in apparel.
The guy who takes pictures for Street View has a cool job.
He goes for Google Drives.
I asked my wife about a ballerina in a picture who looked familiar. She said it was Anna Pavlova.
I said I thought her face rang a bell.
After I was arrested, my ex-wife decided to hang a picture of my mugshot on the wall in her living room.
But she still won't admit she framed me.
Why are there so few pictures of the 16th President?
Because he was always a blinkin'
My wife emailed me pictures of our wedding, but I couldn’t open any of the files.
I always have trouble with emotional attachments.
I always carry a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet.
Just to remind me why there's no money in there.
Dad went out to this field and sent me a picture of himself there.
The caption read ‘I’m outstanding in this field!’
So I decided I'm going to put cigarette pictures on my Tinder
Because I'm looking for matches
The day my daughter turns 18, I’m going to buy her a locket, put her picture in it, and when she opens it tell her:
“Well, I guess now you really are… independent"
When I was in high school in Belleville, ON, a young local artist spray-painted a beautiful picture on a large concrete wall under a bridge by the Moira river. He didn't get permission to do this, however, and the city eventually painted over it.
Watching his picture go like that must've been pretty demuralizing.
Picture this: A pandemic is unleashed by ticks that live on and around the mouths of alpacas.
Global chaos ensues.
The disease wipes out 99% of humanity, and the desperate survivors are forced to live in a post-alpaca lip tick wasteland.
Why are pictures of Polar Bears always so powerful?
Because they're on polar roids.
He clicked a lot of pictures but his pictures never came? Why?
Because he was a faux tographer.
Why did the picture go to jail?
What do you call a picture of a bookcase?
I love taking pictures of my son, so much most people call me
his personal 'Papa'razzi.
Took a pretty good picture of the meteor shower a few days ago.
What do you call a rival in picture taking?
I gave my Dad a jigsaw made from a picture of his face.
I’m obsessed with sketching pictures of fruit, and I really think I should stop.
I have to draw the lime somewhere.
I once painted a picture of a man using fungus.
I thought it was a clever way to capture his licheness.
Whenever my son has to make a picture for homework, I always make sure he signs his name last
Because Andrew is a lot shorter than Andrawing
I just got my picture taken with REM
What does a dentist call a picture?
What is the difference between Jesus Christ and his picture?
His picture only requires one nail to hang
Son, do you know why was the picture sent to jail?
I bought my Daughter a locket with her picture inside, for her 18th birthday..
.. just so glad She's now finally Independent.
How do you take school pictures in 2020?
A buddy of mine likes taking pictures of salmon in clothes
He says he likes shooting fish in apparel
I showed a picture of a sheep giving birth to some kids and asked if they knew what animal it was.
A friend forced me to look at a picture of mount Rushmore before it was carved.
If you put a picture of yourself in a locket...
You could say you’re independent.
My friend is making a lot of easy money by taking pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes.
It’s like shooting fish in apparel.
LPT: A quick and easy way to make money is to take pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes.
It’s like shooting fish in apparel.
I bought my daughter a locket and put her picture in it.
I always carry a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet.
I do it to remind myself why there is no money in there.
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