How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?

They just ransomware.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/viky_boy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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I accidentally turned a wrong valve in the factory which disabled the central cooling system and increased the temperature abruptly. I wasn't able to do anything, so I fled the scene immediately.

The police are now charging me for a 'Heat and Run' incident.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/sodomicity
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of the crime?

I think they just ransomware.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/the_houser
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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The police show up on a crime scene

They walk in and see a man standing over a body with a broken neck. So they take the man into questioning and ask him why he did it, the man said โ€œIt was a snap decisionโ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 19
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Bear6677
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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Did you know that the guy who wrote the famous scene in 300 was Canadian?

He was like "that's what I'm talkin a'boot!" kicks

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TeslaFan900
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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I can't stand bomb diffusing movie scenes

It always comes down to the wire.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/icemage27
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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Azad Khan, a chef in a local Indian restaurant, overstretched and fell headlong into a vat of hot curry. An ambulance was quickly at the scene and he was taken to hospital.

Fortunately he is alive but is still in a korma.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Brucemoose1
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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The following depicts scenes of gratuitous heteronormative sexual acts

Sensitive viewers are advised to avert their gays

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Childhoodcocaine
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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Two police officers were investigating a murder scene.

They stumble upon a humanoid cement figure.

Officer 1: "Sir, we've found all the evidence we need to prove that this is the murderer's house."

Officer 2: "Why would anyone believe that this is evidence?"

Officer 1: "It's concrete."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Brawl_nOyOu
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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My friend likes to cause a scene by going up to his loft and playing the bongos very loudly.

It was a little drum attic.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 80
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/FinalCaveat
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
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Make a pun on the word "scenes" please
๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/notcallipygian
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
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Breaking news: Irish officials have reported that a passenger 747 has crashed into a Belfast cemetery. Investigators have discovered over ten thousand dead bodies at the scene. One local witness at a nearby pub claimed it was a Guinness record.

To be sure. Iโ€™ll let myself out.....

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/greggy_rabs
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 14 2020
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What country has the most active stripper scene?

Poland

๐Ÿ‘︎ 18
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Spikerman101
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 26 2020
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At crime scenes where they sketch out a body with chalk?

Is that technically a die-agram?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Gooddayitisi
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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After my director friend finished shooting his scene, I handed him a sandwich.

I said, โ€œThatโ€™s a wrap.โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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The other week the police arrived on the scene to find me upside down in my car...

They told me not to be so silly, and to sit properly...

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/madazzahatter
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 25 2020
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Two policemen, an officer and a detective, are investigating a murder scene.

The officer says, "Huh. They left the bills, but took the coins. Any ideas, detective?"

The detective replies, "Just another centsless crime, officer."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JDogg323
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
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My wife caught me performing an action scene from The Matrix, but luckily she thought I was doing yoga exercises.

I just dodged a bullet.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 195
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/FinalCaveat
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
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Could be a scene from Game Of Thrones
๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/IceKofist
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
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My favorite scene from any star trek movie is the one where Spock dies...

It's so i-khan-ic.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/midas_1988
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 12 2020
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โ€ชAn evil French chef mixes Kryptonite in their treats and flings them at Superman. Batman arrives on the scene but does nothing, allowing Jimmy Olsen to catch the pastries in a net, at which point Superman saves the day. Itโ€™s like they say:

Not all heroes snare crepes.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/atruthtellingliar
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
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quick robot chicken scene youtube.com/watch?v=Ywnhlโ€ฆ
๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/KiwiDishie
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
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This scene fell a little flat v.redd.it/gstf2jxpahp21
๐Ÿ‘︎ 41
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jussymane
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
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Toy story 4 used to have a scene where Woody's friends died.

They cut it from the script because it was too much of a buzzkill.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 35
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Godith024
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
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There is a deleted scene in Lord of the Rings when Bilbo and Frodo run into a long lost hipster cousin.

Douche Baggins.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
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When watching "Wonder Woman" I tell my kids to look carefully in the background of the Paris scene for an Easter egg. "What are we looking for?", they ask.

"Her invisible jet."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 21
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Ostrantula
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
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Sherlock and Watson visit a murder scene

Sherlock inspects the body and notes that the man doesn't have anything covering his top. Watson looks at Sherlock and says "Yeah, no shirt, Sherlock!"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/propersquid
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
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Game of Thrones S8 E4 has a Starbucks cup in one of the scenes by mistake...

People are saying it is a little mistake, I think it's is a Grande.

-Ellen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GQ0mUydWhI

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Incomplete-Sentenc
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 09 2019
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Last night I got drunk and agreed to star in a bukkake scene, blindfolded...

I don't know what came over me

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TreacherousMango
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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The trouble eye scene
๐Ÿ‘︎ 22
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/OedipusR3x
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 27 2018
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When you are watching a cop movie and want to go right to the action scene

I'm gonna cut right to the chase

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/X-Drakken
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
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Crime scene cleaner once said:

Most people are dying to see him ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/m1ngaa
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
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My friend caught hypothermia while painting outdoor scenes in Northern Canada.

Everyone thinks he needed a second coat.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 11
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
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How did the hacker escape the scene of the crime?

They ran-some-where

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/leMEME0550
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
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A pun walks into a bar and kills ten people. A news reporter comes to the scene and summarizes it in four words.

Pun in, ten dead.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Dude506
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
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What Happens Behind the Scenes
๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Kauntest
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I thought the communist fish left at the scene would be the clue that cracked open the case.

But it was just a red herring.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/smithaustin
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
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Found a grizzly scene today.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 33
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/nickgenova
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 11 2016
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How amazing is that scene in The Last Jedi where Rey makes the boulders float..

CGI Rocks!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thesaket
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
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What happened to the purse when it was found at a crime scene?

It became an accessory to the crime.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 17
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/heebiepjeebie
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 11 2018
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Thereโ€™s two nude scenes in the new Netflix film, Outlaw King.

Itโ€™s your best chance to see Chrisโ€™ pine.

(shoutout to my actual dad for this one)

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/advancedbunburying
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
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Saw this nativity scene and the priests were saying...
๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/toremygooch
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
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There's a deleted scene in act I of Macbeth where Macbeth finds the Infinity Gauntlet.

He becomes Thanos of Cawdor.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ChefOfRamen
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 12 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

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