I hired an ex-pilot to do some painting in my house

He's actually pretty good! He made a great job of the landing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatjesus10
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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Did this painting for my friend (far right) who is a huge Pittsburgh steelers fan. His favorite player is Troy Polamalu... And he likes puns. That's me in the middle.l in my favorite jumper. Thoughts??? reddit.com/gallery/kkbp9y
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smike1981
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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The competitive painting contest was an abject failure

as it ended in a draw.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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What do you call a person who made a painting with soup?

Stewart

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πŸ‘€︎ u/presuire45
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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Painting a Church

A painter is desperate and bids low for a contract to paint the outside of a church. He figures he could still make a profit by adding water to the paint. He wins the contract.

He goes out one sunny day and after a long day's work, he finishes. Thunder cracks and the rain washes away the paint. A voice from the sky booms, "Repaint and thin no more!"

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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I went to the museum and saw a painting of a criminal, who claimed his innocence and insisted the police planted evidence.

The frame was remarkable

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strungen
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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What did the painting say to the wall?

I’ve got you covered!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ACommentInTheWind
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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My friend has a business painting rooftops.

You need to book now while his service is on the house.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Koevoet91
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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Why did the painting smell so bad

It was a piece ofart.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wassup369
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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Did you know Michelangelo didn’t paint a single painting?

He painted loads of them

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πŸ‘€︎ u/geoswede
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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Painting my ceiling isn't exactly #1 on my priority list.

But it's up there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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What do you call a painting cat?

Picatso

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiewing
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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I was on a game show and the final question was "What do you call a 3D painting made out of plaster?" I couldn't think of the answer and I was worried I'd lose all of the money. Then I got it right!

It was a relief

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πŸ‘€︎ u/No_Gray_Area
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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Imagine how tired Michelangelo was by the time he had finished painting..

..the sixteenth Chapel

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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They caught me selling knockoff paintings from the back of my Honda Odyssey, so they impounded my car.

It was really sad to see my Van Gogh.

BONUS-

I head back to the Honda dealership to purchase a truck, but instead I Tacoma Toyota.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NukeyHov
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
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Why does God look so ripped on all paintings?

Because he was the body builder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrazilBazil
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
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I just read in the newspaper: "Painting stolen from art museum found by a set of dustbins."

Those dustbins must be very intelligent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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While waiting in the lobby of a Chinese restaurant, Don was admiring a painting on the wall of a Chinese sailing vessel and said to his friend Mike: β€œIsn’t that a great looking ship?” Mike replied:

β€œIt’s junk”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bardbelle
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
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A friend of mine tries to impress girls by drawing realistic paintings of the Ford F-150.

He’s a pickup artist.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
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Do you know what I called the painting when I moved out at 18 years old?

The Decoration of Independence.

-My partner's joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bo0pbeeb0op
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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Painting some fun while I'm stuck in the house!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nicky3123
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
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What do you call a pirate who does interior painting?

A swatch-buckler

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kibsnjif935
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
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We just bought a painting by a farmer who only creates art of cows and horses.

His name is Oscar Moo-neigh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Duzervee
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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I saw a really ugly painting in the museum

turns out, it was a mirror.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aNotSoShortName
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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If a painter records videos of himself painting and posts them on social media,

is he considered a recording artist?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/raaalphs
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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I've got to do some painting tomorrow.

So I decided to brush up on the basics.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smithsea2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
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My friend was arrested by the cops for spray painting graffiti, and he tried to deny that he did it.

But the writing was on the wall.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
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I was at the museum and saw a painting of a bowl, with milk and some kind of food inside.

It was surreal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NameTheTrait
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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Prince Charles was mistaken for a collection of orca paintings.

He is the prints of whales.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/changhaobyu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
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If Harry decided to take up painting now he’s stepped back from the royal family...

...he would be the artist formerly known as Prince.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tecfrigo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2020
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Why did Sweden start painting barcodes on the sides of their battleships?

So they could Scandinavian.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
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So the Norwegian Navy is painting their ships with a bar code pattern

So when then come into port, they can Scandanavian

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ouyin2000
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
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My dad told me to finish his bird painting. He painted the head, torso and legs.

To be honest, I just winged it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
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I was almost arrested for spray painting a grocery store with my best comic sans.

Fortunately, we talked it over and agreed that I would paint over it, and the day ended sans sheriff.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
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A painting I did this time last year Instagram @molkyb
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πŸ‘€︎ u/molkyb
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
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The painting was found guilty . . .

and hung the next day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
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So i visited a neurologic clinic that, between other mental illness, treats Alzheimer patients. This was their main lobby's painting.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/XurroMaster
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
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Painting
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sonujohny
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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I haven't had much luck dating recently so I decided to start a new hobby; painting money I get from the bank.

I'm going to dye a loan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrChimp
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
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My friend is weirdly addicted to going to museums and kissing Impressionist paintings.

He puts his Monet where his mouth is.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
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Why did the pirate bury a painting of their past relationship, with their treasure?

Ex marks the spot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrHollowed
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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I'm doing a painting of Paris at night.

Might be quicker if I do it in the daytime too.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
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Do you know how the artist died while painting?

They had a stroke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josef5050
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
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The dog's name is Dali. It was between painting him as Muhammad Dali or the Dali Lama. The latter one won (2018 - 2.8m x 3m)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Theanthonybrooks
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
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I hear they're putting all of Claude Monet's paintings in a free gallery

They're de-monet-ising his work.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BearryBonds
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
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What did the wall say to the painting?

I’ve got your back!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ACommentInTheWind
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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Why did Sweden start painting barcodes on the sides of their battleships?

So they could Scandinavian.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
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Why did Sweden start painting barcodes on the sides of their battleships?

So they could Scandinavian.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
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