I hired an ex-pilot to do some painting in my house
He's actually pretty good! He made a great job of the landing.
Did this painting for my friend (far right) who is a huge Pittsburgh steelers fan. His favorite player is Troy Polamalu... And he likes puns. That's me in the middle.l in my favorite jumper. Thoughts???
reddit.com/gallery/kkbp9y
The competitive painting contest was an abject failure
What do you call a person who made a painting with soup?
Painting a Church
A painter is desperate and bids low for a contract to paint the outside of a church. He figures he could still make a profit by adding water to the paint. He wins the contract.
He goes out one sunny day and after a long day's work, he finishes. Thunder cracks and the rain washes away the paint. A voice from the sky booms, "Repaint and thin no more!"
I went to the museum and saw a painting of a criminal, who claimed his innocence and insisted the police planted evidence.
What did the painting say to the wall?
My friend has a business painting rooftops.
You need to book now while his service is on the house.
Why did the painting smell so bad
Did you know Michelangelo didn’t paint a single painting?
Painting my ceiling isn't exactly #1 on my priority list.
What do you call a painting cat?
I was on a game show and the final question was "What do you call a 3D painting made out of plaster?" I couldn't think of the answer and I was worried I'd lose all of the money. Then I got it right!
Imagine how tired Michelangelo was by the time he had finished painting..
They caught me selling knockoff paintings from the back of my Honda Odyssey, so they impounded my car.
It was really sad to see my Van Gogh.
BONUS-
I head back to the Honda dealership to purchase a truck, but instead I Tacoma Toyota.
Why does God look so ripped on all paintings?
Because he was the body builder.
I just read in the newspaper: "Painting stolen from art museum found by a set of dustbins."
Those dustbins must be very intelligent.
While waiting in the lobby of a Chinese restaurant, Don was admiring a painting on the wall of a Chinese sailing vessel and said to his friend Mike: “Isn’t that a great looking ship?” Mike replied:
A friend of mine tries to impress girls by drawing realistic paintings of the Ford F-150.
Do you know what I called the painting when I moved out at 18 years old?
The Decoration of Independence.
-My partner's joke.
Painting some fun while I'm stuck in the house!
What do you call a pirate who does interior painting?
We just bought a painting by a farmer who only creates art of cows and horses.
His name is Oscar Moo-neigh.
I saw a really ugly painting in the museum
turns out, it was a mirror.
If a painter records videos of himself painting and posts them on social media,
is he considered a recording artist?
I've got to do some painting tomorrow.
So I decided to brush up on the basics.
My friend was arrested by the cops for spray painting graffiti, and he tried to deny that he did it.
But the writing was on the wall.
I was at the museum and saw a painting of a bowl, with milk and some kind of food inside.
Prince Charles was mistaken for a collection of orca paintings.
He is the prints of whales.
If Harry decided to take up painting now he’s stepped back from the royal family...
...he would be the artist formerly known as Prince.
Why did Sweden start painting barcodes on the sides of their battleships?
So they could Scandinavian.
So the Norwegian Navy is painting their ships with a bar code pattern
So when then come into port, they can Scandanavian
My dad told me to finish his bird painting. He painted the head, torso and legs.
To be honest, I just winged it.
I was almost arrested for spray painting a grocery store with my best comic sans.
Fortunately, we talked it over and agreed that I would paint over it, and the day ended sans sheriff.
A painting I did this time last year Instagram @molkyb
The painting was found guilty . . .
So i visited a neurologic clinic that, between other mental illness, treats Alzheimer patients. This was their main lobby's painting.
I haven't had much luck dating recently so I decided to start a new hobby; painting money I get from the bank.
My friend is weirdly addicted to going to museums and kissing Impressionist paintings.
He puts his Monet where his mouth is.
Why did the pirate bury a painting of their past relationship, with their treasure?
I'm doing a painting of Paris at night.
Might be quicker if I do it in the daytime too.
Do you know how the artist died while painting?
The dog's name is Dali. It was between painting him as Muhammad Dali or the Dali Lama. The latter one won (2018 - 2.8m x 3m)
I hear they're putting all of Claude Monet's paintings in a free gallery
They're de-monet-ising his work.
What did the wall say to the painting?
Why did Sweden start painting barcodes on the sides of their battleships?
So they could Scandinavian.
Why did Sweden start painting barcodes on the sides of their battleships?
So they could Scandinavian.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
