I’m worried she won’t be able to pull it off.
... it’s about to get ugly out there
No hard fillings.
She charged me 200 bucks. What a rip off merchant.
Icarus and Daedalus, after building wings of wax and feathers, took to the skies to escape the labyrinth of the Minoans. But, as the story goes, Icarus flew too close to the sun, and his wings melted.
As he dropped from the sky, Icarus said what any sane mortal would: "Help, I'm falling!"
Daedalus turned to his son, and before he could catch him, he uttered "Nice to meet you falling. I'm Dad-alus."
I think I was getting ahead of myself.
Because it's groomless!
She was talking to me about getting a Brazilian wax done.
Her:"This place only uses hard wax, which I found interesting. Sometimes they use hard and soft wax too."
Me:"I guess there is more than one way to skin a cat."
I received the best response a dadjoke can get... The Facepalm
It's about to get ugly out there.
Quit beading up on me!
...but it's just a phase.
I don’t want to go nuts right away.
They can be real rip off.
But it's such a rip off.
Back a few decades, I was working in a program with a local college in the Middle East.
The name of the program for ExPats has the clever acronym of "IDEA" (hey, I said it was clever); which stands for "Inter-Departmental Educational Adjunct". It's interdepartmental because my particular specialty not only covers field geology but also paleontology and a bit of archeology thrown in for good measure. Everyone hopes to have a good IDEA...
Well, we saddle up and head for the Dune Sea out in the west of the country, where the Precambrian, Cambrian, Silurian, Cretaceous, Pliocene, Pleistocene, and Holocene crop out and access is relatively easy and non-injurious.
Well, we caravan out, some 30 Land Cruisers, Nissan patrol, and the odd Mitsubishi Galloper strong. We all get our maps, compasses and split up into 5 or 6 special interest groups ("SIG's"); where each IDEA has his own GPS and LIDAR laser ranging apparatus. Reason being, that there are very few benchmarks out in the des... keep reading on reddit ➡
I was asking my mum if the apples we bought were waxed or natural and she said this disgustingly horrible dadjoke "Well, you don't see any hair on them."
I told him, "Misterogyny".
Wax on, wax off
Don’t worry honey he’s just going through a phase.
He was driving; I was sitting shotgun. The moon in the sky was just a tiny sliver. I pondered out loud that "I wonder if it's waxing or waning." My dad said "waning? It's not even cwoudy!"
It was all outta wax.
After parking in a lot next to a salon with a European Wax sign in the window... Me: "you should get a European wax." Her: "no, you should get your peen waxed."
John is my dad, I think that was understood
After looking at the crescent moon she turned to me and said, "I wonder if the moon is waxing or if it is waning."
To which I responded, "Waning? It's not even cwoudy!"
Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.
Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":
So for my birthday my dad got me a set of new skis, which needed to be waxed.
Dad: I need to fix up your skis.
Me: Why would you get me broken skis?
He didn't seem to impressed that I out dadjoked him.
She has an air freshener that burns different scented wax. She had run out.
Her: "Oh, no. I need more scents.
Me: "Read a book once in a while."
and we found a Schecter C1 with a natural wood finish and spent like an hour playing it, despite being in the middle of a room packed full of exotic guitars. I own a Schecter bass and through playing a few different models I have come to the conclusion that Schecter is the Valve of guitar manufacturers, but I'm not here to wax poetic about Schecters, I can do that on my own time.
Anyway, we went home afterwards and he posted a status on Facebook about it, which included the line
> ...and in a room full of hyperexotics, spent an hour metaphorically jerking off to a Schecter C1.
I replied with
and he came back with
>They don't call it a wood finish for nothin'.
I was explaining to her about how the wicks in these cheap candles we bought fall over before all the wax is gone. She said, "that's poor wickmanship."
I love her.
For those of you who don't know most churches sing silent night by candle light. Everyone gets a candle. At the end of the service my wife spilled hot wax on her hands. After dealing with the immediate pain I said...
Sorry about your waxcident!
If you don't know what that is, it's a small cheese wheel that comes wrapped in red wax that you're supposed to peel before eating.
I see her eating it and say "you know you can eat the wax on those?"
She says "oh really? Would you like it?" (Offering me the wax)
I say "thank you, but I'm wax-tose intolerant."
Dad: "Well, you know what was in my stash box? A fine-toothed comb and a tin of mustache wax!"
I’m nervous she won’t be able to pull it off.