My buddy once asked me what it's like to work as a high rise window washer...

I said it has its ups and downs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uglarinn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15
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What is the area of a circular piece of dough, where the slice length is "z" and the rise is "A"

Pi(z)(z)(A)

Edit: Volume not area

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hctibasiaixelsyd
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16
🚨︎ report
Rise and Shine
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TibiaChi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
🚨︎ report
I told my boss I need a pay rise and that 3 other companies were after me...

He said 'which ones?'

I said ' Gas, electric and water'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderHallow
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21
🚨︎ report
They say firefighters deserve a pay rise

But apparently a pole was taken and they all fell through a hole in the floor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/glazbypsn
πŸ“…︎ May 06
🚨︎ report
If monkeys start stealing clothes from everyone it'll be the Rise of the planet of the Dr'apes'
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πŸ‘€︎ u/our_lord23
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
🚨︎ report
Who rises during Yeaster?

Jesus CRUST!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nightdrawsnear
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28
🚨︎ report
Do you know why it took Jesus 3 days to rise from his grave?

It would’ve been the next day, but he had Post Martyr-dom depression.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SquigglesMcJiggly
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05
🚨︎ report
How did Sith Lords rise to the top?

They took the elevader.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CalebFnCool
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
"Did you hear about the new zombie game that all they do is watch dough rise?"

"It's called Bread Rising."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/QuitePasta
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
🚨︎ report
I was going to wake up early to watch the sun rise.

But then it dawned on me that I should sleep in.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shabbos_roller
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
🚨︎ report
Iron Deficiency gang rise up!

But not too fast

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rafapex
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Say β€œRise up lights” out loud.

Congratulations, you can now say razor blades in Australian.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/G-Note
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
🚨︎ report
The next generation rises....
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πŸ‘€︎ u/artguy14
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
The r/punpatrol has gone too far! We need to rise up!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnthonyisClueless
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I was watching the sun rise, when it dawned on me
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/confibulator
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2017
🚨︎ report
It's safe to assume that, once someone rises to the rank of Colonel, they will continue to be promoted.

Though I guess that's just a generalization.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DthAlchemist
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Bread is like the sun, it rises in the yeast and sets in the waist...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shy_NaughtyMuslim
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
🚨︎ report
How did Jesus rise from the dead?

YEASTER EGGS

I'm a couple days late on this one but he took his time too

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
🚨︎ report
bread and the sun are similar - both rise in the yeast
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πŸ‘€︎ u/US99
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Every day I forget which direction the sun rises...

Then it dawns on me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kameshkii
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2018
🚨︎ report
I always have trouble living in high rise buildings with many neighbors.

I might I might have an apartment complex.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I have to rise up if I want to beat them.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AssasinButt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2018
🚨︎ report
The Rise Of Skywalker

The Rise Of Skywalker

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nws4c
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
🚨︎ report
My buddy said, "All Rise!"

And, so I told him, "That's not how you bake bread, tho.."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hentaisianbloke
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
🚨︎ report
As I sat there on that dark, winter morning, I couldn’t remember when the sun would finally rise....

But then it dawned on me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/refusalskills
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2018
🚨︎ report
When somebody makes your blood pressure rise
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoTomArrow
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2017
🚨︎ report
What do bowling alley staff do when they want a pay rise?

strike!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sir_waffling
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Amsterdam will be one of the first major cities to be wiped out by sea level rise due to climate change

I guess it will be Amsterdamned.

That's quite ironic, isn't it supposed to serve as a dam?

source: http://geology.com/sea-level-rise/

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bary3000
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2017
🚨︎ report
Why did the balloon prices rise?

Inflation . . . . . . . Also serious economic issues in the United States which will hopefully be addressed soon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDestroyer575
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2018
🚨︎ report
I was trying to figure out what time the sun would rise this morning.

Then it dawned on me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Domthehuman1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2017
🚨︎ report
I swear they're trying to get a rise out of me.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/meatb4ll
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2015
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the bread rise in the great state of Maine.

Wrong dough Maine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dipmate
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2017
🚨︎ report
What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?

It becomes daytrogen

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OppositeFingat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bird which rises from the ashes but is unable to fly?

Joaquin Phoenix

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skarkroe
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2017
🚨︎ report
Why should you never grow corn on a rise?

Then the hills have ears.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thewilltosucceed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2017
🚨︎ report
When bread rises....

....is that called a yeast inflection?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dxdrummer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2015
🚨︎ report
"Crime always rises when it's hot out..."

"...probably because it's so muggy."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pepperrush
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2013
🚨︎ report
dad said this at Rise of the Apes last night

During the charge scene he leans in and says

"Talk about guerrilla warfare"

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/walkerh81
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2014
🚨︎ report
Just finished watching the dark knight rises

So we finished watching the dark knight rises and my friend says "cat woman was pretty selfish in that movie, at least she came back to help in the end" and my other friend replied "She really Bale'd out of of that movie about Hathaway through"

Got to admit I thought it was pretty damn clever

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nesbarnes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2014
🚨︎ report

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