Business at the bakery is on the rise
πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/teediggs
πŸ“…︎ May 02
🚨︎ report
Why does Jesus rise?

Because his body was made out of bread

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/m00nieboy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18
🚨︎ report
Prediction: There will be a minor Baby Boom in 9 months, and then one day in 2033 we will witness the rise of

The Quaranteens

πŸ‘︎ 27k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tecniklee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
9 months from now, there will be a baby boom. 13 years later, will give rise to the next generation, known as....

Quaranteens.

πŸ‘︎ 601
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?

It becomes daytrogen.

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
These kitties love puns almost as much as napping, and the rise of the proletariat.
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-NarWallace-
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
what did the depressed water park attendant think of at the top of a high rise building?

I wanna commit suislide

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GLIZZYGOD999
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Got a pay rise of $1000 today, effective immediately.

What a grand start to the weekend.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My buddy once asked me what it's like to work as a high rise window washer...

I said it has its ups and downs.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Uglarinn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Rise and Shine
πŸ‘︎ 110
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TibiaChi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my boss I need a pay rise and that 3 other companies were after me...

He said 'which ones?'

I said ' Gas, electric and water'

πŸ‘︎ 332
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderHallow
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the area of a circular piece of dough, where the slice length is "z" and the rise is "A"

Pi(z)(z)(A)

Edit: Volume not area

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hctibasiaixelsyd
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
So I just found out some politicians with bowel problems are unfairly helping other politicians with bowel problems rise to power.

I guess our government has a problem with crohnyism.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/caligari87
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
If monkeys start stealing clothes from everyone it'll be the Rise of the planet of the Dr'apes'
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/our_lord23
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
🚨︎ report
They say firefighters deserve a pay rise

But apparently a pole was taken and they all fell through a hole in the floor

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/glazbypsn
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Who rises during Yeaster?

Jesus CRUST!

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nightdrawsnear
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Say β€œRise up lights” out loud.

Congratulations, you can now say razor blades in Australian.

πŸ‘︎ 160
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/G-Note
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I was watching the sun rise, when it dawned on me
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/confibulator
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2017
🚨︎ report
How did Sith Lords rise to the top?

They took the elevader.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CalebFnCool
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know why it took Jesus 3 days to rise from his grave?

It would’ve been the next day, but he had Post Martyr-dom depression.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SquigglesMcJiggly
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Iron Deficiency gang rise up!

But not too fast

πŸ‘︎ 107
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rafapex
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
🚨︎ report
"Did you hear about the new zombie game that all they do is watch dough rise?"

"It's called Bread Rising."

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/QuitePasta
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I was going to wake up early to watch the sun rise.

But then it dawned on me that I should sleep in.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shabbos_roller
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
🚨︎ report
The r/punpatrol has gone too far! We need to rise up!
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AnthonyisClueless
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
🚨︎ report
bread and the sun are similar - both rise in the yeast
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/US99
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2018
🚨︎ report
The next generation rises....
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/artguy14
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
It's safe to assume that, once someone rises to the rank of Colonel, they will continue to be promoted.

Though I guess that's just a generalization.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DthAlchemist
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Every day I forget which direction the sun rises...

Then it dawns on me

πŸ‘︎ 182
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kameshkii
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2018
🚨︎ report
Bread is like the sun, it rises in the yeast and sets in the waist...
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shy_NaughtyMuslim
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I have to rise up if I want to beat them.
πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AssasinButt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2018
🚨︎ report
How did Jesus rise from the dead?

YEASTER EGGS

I'm a couple days late on this one but he took his time too

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I always have trouble living in high rise buildings with many neighbors.

I might I might have an apartment complex.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
🚨︎ report
The Rise Of Skywalker

The Rise Of Skywalker

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nws4c
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
🚨︎ report
As I sat there on that dark, winter morning, I couldn’t remember when the sun would finally rise....

But then it dawned on me.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/refusalskills
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2018
🚨︎ report
My buddy said, "All Rise!"

And, so I told him, "That's not how you bake bread, tho.."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hentaisianbloke
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Amsterdam will be one of the first major cities to be wiped out by sea level rise due to climate change

I guess it will be Amsterdamned.

That's quite ironic, isn't it supposed to serve as a dam?

source: http://geology.com/sea-level-rise/

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bary3000
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2017
🚨︎ report
I swear they're trying to get a rise out of me.
πŸ‘︎ 199
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/meatb4ll
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2015
🚨︎ report
Why did the balloon prices rise?

Inflation . . . . . . . Also serious economic issues in the United States which will hopefully be addressed soon.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDestroyer575
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2018
🚨︎ report
I was trying to figure out what time the sun would rise this morning.

Then it dawned on me.

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Domthehuman1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2017
🚨︎ report
What do bowling alley staff do when they want a pay rise?

strike!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sir_waffling
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the bread rise in the great state of Maine.

Wrong dough Maine

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dipmate
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bird which rises from the ashes but is unable to fly?

Joaquin Phoenix

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Skarkroe
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2017
🚨︎ report
"Crime always rises when it's hot out..."

"...probably because it's so muggy."

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pepperrush
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2013
🚨︎ report
When bread rises....

....is that called a yeast inflection?

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dxdrummer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2015
🚨︎ report
Why should you never grow corn on a rise?

Then the hills have ears.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thewilltosucceed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2017
🚨︎ report
dad said this at Rise of the Apes last night

During the charge scene he leans in and says

"Talk about guerrilla warfare"

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/walkerh81
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2014
🚨︎ report
What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?

It becomes daytrogen

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OppositeFingat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2017
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.