Dad: Why did the elephant climb the maple tree?
Daughter: (Studiously ignores him).
Dad: To eat some cherries.
Daughter: (Not looking up from her phone). Maple trees don't have cherries, Dad.
Dad: He brought his own.
What’s white and can’t climb trees?
My cat kept trying to climb my Christmas tree so I put aluminum around the base of the tree.
Her plans have been foiled.
Why couldn’t the peeping tom climb mountains?
Because he always peaked.
Why did the Dragonborn climb all the way to High Hrothgar?
He wanted to know what all the Fus was all about.
Why did the chicken climb on top of the house?
...because it wanted to be a ROOFster.
My son asked me what it's like to climb Mt. Everest
So the travel agency said I could climb Mt. Everest and it would only cost $100,000.
I said no thanks, that's a bit too steep.
Why did the comedians climb the mountain?
Cause they thought it would be hill-arious!!!
Why didn't the Australian marsupial climb down the tree to drink the beverage waiting for him on the ground?
How to climb a ladder, Step 1:
Why did the Yorkshireman climb the mountain?
Because it was summit to do.
Even though he had an extreme fear of heights, why did the butcher resolve to climb all the way up the ladder?
The steaks were too high.
In 1939, an unusual farm animal named Gertrude became the first cow to climb to the peak of Mt. Everest carrying gear for the climbers, setting a world record that still stands unbroken.
Since then, the steaks have never been higher.
In the forest, a sad lonely looking turtle begins to climb slowly up a huge tree. Half way up, it edges along a branch, sighs, then jumps. It falls smacking into the ground, bouncing and tumbling across the forest floor...
Recovering and bruised, he slowly climbs the tree again, jumps and falls to the ground.
The turtle tries again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watch his pathetic efforts.
Finally, the female bird turns to her mate, “Darling, don't you think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted?"
Does the people who climb Mount Everest... everest
>!had to put the punch line on the title!<
What's white and cant climb?
Did you hear about the guy who tried to climb a hill without a watch?
He didn't make it because he had neither the time nor the inclination.
My girlfriend said no when I asked her to climb a snowbank with me...
There was a prison break and saw a midget climb up the fence and give me a nasty look
And I thought to myself “that was a little condescending”
Why did the junkies climb the mountain?
So that they could get high.
My back gate was frozen shut today. Had to try to climb over it to get the garbage to the alley.
I somehow managed to get myself stuck up there. I’m still on the fence about it.
Do the guys who climb mountains
To get out of the window, you can either jump or climb down, I’d choose the ladder
Jake wanted to rock climb but quit when learning how to descend with ropes
He found the idea rappel-ent
Why did the cow climb on to the roof of the barn?
Because it didn't want to be ground beef
Out of two objects, which one can you use to climb a wall?
How to climb a ladder:
What do you get when a cow climbs a barbed wire fence?
I didn't know if I wanted to climb over the bar.
I was kinda on the fence about it.
I was out for a group ride and my friend noticed I never got out of the saddle on climbs
He said “I haven’t seen you get out of the saddle once in the last 30 miles, are you hatching an egg down there or something?” And I said “You know, if you keep giving me crap about this, I won’t stand for it!”
Today my friend was hiding a tree. I told him he was too old to climb trees and that he should get a job.
He said, "I have a job! I'm a branch manager!"
What's the difference between a ladder and a hammer? --You can't climb the latter.
What's White and can't climb a tree?
Mountains must be hard to climb.
How To Climb a Ladder.
So on and so forth.
How to climb stairs
There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down, he sneered at me.
I thought, well that's a little condescending.