What do you call a group of sightless mountaineers?

The Peaky Blinders

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Summetz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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What do you get if you cross a mosquito with a mountaineer?

Nothing - you can't cross a vector with a scalar.

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
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Why did the mountaineer bring a zippo instead of matches?

Because it was a little lighter!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sleepytiger82
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2016
🚨︎ report
β€œSo what’s it like living in the mountains?”

It’s got it’s ups and downs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Im-Not-dead-yet1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
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Why mountains are funny?

Because they are hill areas

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πŸ‘€︎ u/astro_philia
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2021
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The local bartender moved his pub to the summit of a mountain and the quality of his drinks improved

He really raised the bar on that one

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gssn-nospace
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
🚨︎ report
What's the best compliment you can give to singing mountains?

Wow, that's quite a range!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RandyB1
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Mountain jokes are always the funniest

Because they're peak comedy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealComradeMeep
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2021
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I was all set to become one of the worlds greatest mountain climbers.

But then I peaked too early.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jester57
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
🚨︎ report
This mountain just installed a new CPU and processor into his pc.

It's now running on peak performance

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigDumbyMan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
🚨︎ report
Bob Dylan didn't seem surprised when a boulder fell off a mountain on top of his house.

He calmly said it was just like a rolling stone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAzrael2013
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Which mountains have the best nuts?

The Andeez.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/48HoursADay
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
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Disclaimer: this is my 5 year old son's joke. He is a dad in the making. "Everest is the biggest mountain. Mount Fuji is the prettiest. Which mountain is the stinkiest?"

K-Poo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Musicferret
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
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What's the difference between a gymnast jaguar, and a meth-head mountain lion?

One is an acrobatic cat.

The other is a broke, addict cat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadrantbiz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did they build the university on a mountain?

It was a place of higher learning.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperGrandPatzer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Mt. Rushmore rocks!
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cREDBARON
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Lost on a mountain, you can collect rainwater to drink during storms.

Otherwise, you just have to make dew.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lookinatspam
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Why are people that live on mountains smarter?

Because they have high-schools

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Geb69
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Can you believe people actually eat mountain oysters?

Isn't that nuts?

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wessdude79
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do mountains make good comedians?

Because they're hill areas...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kasegauner
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Don’t ever go to the local mountains and try to rent skis.

You can only get snowbored.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/7reddituser
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
🚨︎ report
How do mountains see?

They peak.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
🚨︎ report
I built a model of Mt.Everest and my son asked, "Is it to scale?" I replied "No."

"It's to look at. "

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rhshi14
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the mountain say to the funny highlands?

You're hill areas

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πŸ‘€︎ u/leader_of_hundred
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a bear and a mountain lion together?

Dead. You get dead.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrunchyBrisket
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
🚨︎ report
The reason the mountains are hill areas joke gets reposted so often is

because it's peak comedy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/languagepotato
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Anyone listened to the mountain joke?

If not u should cause it’s hil-arious

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/passionated-7
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Mountain lions are very rarely spotted in the wild...

That’s because mountain lions aren't spotted, cheetahs are!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/realstabbybabe
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I enjoyed hiking up mountains, until I arrived at the top.

From there, it's all downhill.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sodrohu
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
I saw a mountain with a lot of cows hanging out on it.

Must've been Mount Heiferest.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iswitt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
What did one mountain say to the other after the earthquake?

It wasn't my fault.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My co-workers and I would suffer from wrist pain when we would drive through a mountain on our way to work together

We were diagnosed with carpool tunnel syndrome

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
A mountain makes the best jokes.

It's hill-areas

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Epikgamer332
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
True story: I was a kid, watching TV in our living room. My dad was outside using the grill. All of a sudden he bursts in the door hopping on one foot yelling β€œI stepped on a Bee!”

I was so concerned I jumped up and ran over to him...

Earlier that day my friend and I who were really into mountain biking had been using really sticky letters to put our names on our bikes. We were working near the general area of the BBQ.

Apparently I had dropped one...

Stuck to the bottom of my dads foot was the letter B....

A legendary dad joke from a legendary dad.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
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The nation of Iran lies between the ancient lands of Babylon to the west and the mountains of Afghanistan to the east...

In other words, it’s between Iraq and a hard place.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/watercolorfiddle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I was really scared when I got lost climbing some mountains recently, but I found a map, a topographical map...

It was a relief map.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/widowwarmer1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I got so tired while climbing a tall mountain in Nepal.

I did not think I would Everest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are you bringing me to this mountain river after our couple therapy session?!

Our therapist said I need to valley date you.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/audioinside
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Sad to report the death of the founder of Dulux paint. He died this morning from hypothermia on top of a mountain.

It's been reported he could have done with another coat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
After a long hike to the top of a mountain, my wife asked me, β€œSo what do you think of The View?”

I said, β€œWhoopi Goldberg is ok, but I don’t like the other women on the show.”

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Mountains are not just funny...

they're hill areas.

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Mountains aren't funny

They're hill areas

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Branta-Canadensis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
🚨︎ report
mountains arent just funny...

...they are hill areas

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aye_its_soya
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
🚨︎ report
The mountains aren't just funny, they're

Hill areas

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/krishi2202
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
How do mountains see?

They peak!

πŸ‘︎ 72
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DANGEL_DANGEL
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Why are mountains so funny ?

Because they are hill areas.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I explained, "You see son, mountains aren't just funny…"

…they're hill areas."

πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
How do mountains see?

They peak

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ifruitninja
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
mountains aren’t funny, they’re hill areas πŸ₯Έ
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jojo111693
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Mountains aren’t just funny

They’re hill areas

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gamergangg
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report

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