Did you hear about the Grandma that was lost in the Alps?

The while searchers were looking for her they would call out β€œlittle-old-lady-whooo”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a stain in the Alps?

Liechtenstain.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I was able to sketch most of the Alps from memory...

But for one of them, I drew a Blanc.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to own 3 ski lodges, one in the Alps, one in Aspen and one in France. When I got divorced the first 2 times, my exes each got a lodge as part of the settlement. The third marriage, I decided I needed a prenuptial agreement to cover my assets. It was all I could do!

It's my last resort!

Edit: changed "it was" to "it's"

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What did Hannibal use to transport his army's equipment across the alps?

The elephant of supplies.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GodMonster
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2017
🚨︎ report
Why are the Swiss Alps called the Alps?

Because when people fall off 'em, they yell 'Alp!!!!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IranRPCV
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2017
🚨︎ report
What’s the best part about living in Switzerland?

I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

πŸ‘︎ 113
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chicomagnifico
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Requesting a pun for 'MacAlpine'

Hopefully this is the right place for it - but I'm looking to create a wedding hashtag with our future last names. So far, we only have 'pining for macalpine' but, as someone pointed out, that has a rather negative connotation. Unfortunately, our first names don't lend to puns/rhymes.

Any alp would be appreciated.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_smallest_frye
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Made my dad cringe with this dad joke yesterday...

Yesterday was my dad's birthday, and he turned 52. I called him to wish him a happy birthday, find out what he wanted to do for dinner, etc, all the stuff you do on someone's birthday.

Then I said, "You're only ten years away from your one-minute birthday!"

He seemed confused so I had to clarify... "You know, your... Sixty-Second birthday!"

I could hear the cringe through the phone, and I heard my fiancΓ©e groan from downstairs.

Now I just have to hope he forgets over the next ten years so I can make this joke again.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iamtowelieama
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2015
🚨︎ report
[REQUEST] New dog named "Alpine"

Need as many puns as possible, this is a cry for alp.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RENOxDECEPTION
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2017
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.