If lazyness was an olympic sport, I would come fourth.

I woudn't want to climb up the podium

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hoggenstein123
πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
My local sports store had an overstock of boat paddles, so they decided to have a sale.

It was quite an ordeal.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
🚨︎ report
What number is playing sports?

Ten is 🎾🎾🎾

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RSGaming0416
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
🚨︎ report
Experts have confirmed that bowling is officially the quietest sport.

You can hear a pin drop, after all.

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 05
🚨︎ report
The local newspaper just hired me as the sports editor.

My pen name is Jim Shortz.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03
🚨︎ report
Anyone know when EA Sports will release COVID-20?

I am trying to decide if I should preorder, or if it will be as easy to get as COVID-19?

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FriendOfDrBob
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
🚨︎ report
What number is a sport?

Ten is

πŸ‘︎ 183
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/topknottington
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01
🚨︎ report
What do you call a regular potato broadcasting sports?

A common tater.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LEGOF
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
🚨︎ report
Most of the things Jesus did are very well known, but I haven't seen people mentioning that he was also a pioneer in sports

I mean, he was doing CrossFit almost 2000 years before it became popular!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Heskeyberg
πŸ“…︎ May 04
🚨︎ report
Why are there no politically correct motor-sports fans?

PC-people don't see race.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sdric
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
🚨︎ report
Did you hear? Since COVID-19 has everyone is stuck at home, and sports networks need content, they've decided to televise competitive bathroom sports.

It'll be on the channel E. S. Peein.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Howardyoudoing95
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05
🚨︎ report
If cardboard had a favorite sport, what would it be?

Boxing

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsArgon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What sport is best played in the morning?

Tennish

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jamesallen1977
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12
🚨︎ report
Why did Sauron trade in his sports car for a sedan?

He needed Mordors

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/obrainless
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28
🚨︎ report
Be careful if you kids show an interest in winter sports...

It’s the start of a slippery slope

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21
🚨︎ report
Eventually everyone will be quarantined to their homes without sports and in 9 months babies will be born.

They will be known as the Coronials

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vapingpigeon94
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14
🚨︎ report
What do you call o rooster that likes sports?

A shuttlecock

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GojiX
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12
🚨︎ report
F*cking sports fans!
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I just saw a scantily-clad sheep driving a sports car

it was in a lamb bikini

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/smartasskicker
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11
🚨︎ report
How does an English Sport Player hurt their neck?

They Cricket.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SnixyZ
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
🚨︎ report
Why do lesbians shop at Sports Authority?

They don’t like Dick’s

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bophus5
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
🚨︎ report
What sport do you play with a wombat?

Wom.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31
🚨︎ report
Why is skydiving such a dangerous sport?

Lots of people put on the perish-ute by accident.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06
🚨︎ report
I bought an Italian sports car that came with a free paintbrush and easel.

It's a Maserarty.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
🚨︎ report
If not believing in myself was an Olympic sport.

I'd probably get bronze.

πŸ‘︎ 97
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/panoscrab
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
If climbing trains was a sport ...

They would name it training

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/p_tally
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
🚨︎ report
As a guy from Ohio, I love sports.

That's why whenever I tweet about my team, i go "hash browns."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnnyZillion
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
🚨︎ report
If masturbation was a sport...

I'd come first

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hypermads2003
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife told me to pick a bigger New year's resolution than "watch more sports on TV".

Unfortunately, our TV only does 1080p 60fps.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/My_Name_O
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What sport do wombats play?

Wom.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AnneFaux
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
🚨︎ report
If pessimism was a Olympic sport.....

I would still not win it.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hughdman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the potato let his daughter marry the sports announcer?

He was a commentator

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Houstache
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What's a dog's favourite sport?

Barkour

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/my_darlin_merlin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What was the pumpkin’s favorite sport?

Squash.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
If bushes had a favorite sport what would it be?

Russling

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/X2OPsycho
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a Chicken's favourite sports company?

Ree-bok-bok-bakawk

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vik-ram-8_4
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I bought a new sports jacket for hiking

It's a trail blazer.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hoopgod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is it windy in sports arenas?

Because of all the fans

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/H8MACH1NE_666
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a cardboard’s favourite sport?

Boxing

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
People love it when I come to sports events on a hot summer day. Know why?

Because I’m a big fan.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report
If ceramics had a favorite sport, what would it be?

Bowling

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChargingTiger
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a drug dealer's favourite sport?

Cro-caine.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
🚨︎ report
β€œFrisbee is not a valid Olympian sport”.

Discus.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kedgesproz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
🚨︎ report
My favorite sport is the parralel bars...

I take my first glass at a bar on one side of the street, and the last at the one in front.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What's a dubstep lover's favorite sport?

Bass-ball.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NuramiTheCanine
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What sports car does a ghost drive?

A Lam-boo-ghini

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tyjid
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a bug's favourite sport?

Cricket

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bee-fe
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s the best time to practice racket sports?

Tennish

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LucasM__
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report
EA Sports have released a new Happy Potter: Wimbledon game. You can be any of the well know characters: Ron, Harry, Hermione.

You cannot be Sirius.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrpugh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport

I'm just doing it for the kicks.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Markvaldek
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Where’s the best beach to buy sports gear at?

Jersey Shore

β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”-

Best ocean to play sports in?

The Golf of Mexico

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ashtehstampede
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I don’t just play soccer cause I like the sport.

I’m just in it for kicks.

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/britsumm
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I have a favourite olympic sport. Discus.
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/digdilem
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I was told that I would never be a good sports announcer because I’m from Idaho.

They told me it’s because I’m just a common-tater.

(Told by my father-in-law)

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanmbaldwin
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an average potato who tells you the play-by-play action in sports?

Commentator.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Octopusapult
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s a carpet’s favorite sport?

Rugby

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ayyyyysdf165
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call cheating in Bird Sports?

Fowl Play

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Maxusthebeast
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Father: So does your boyfriend have a job? Daughter: Yea, he plays in the local sports team

Father: He's a keeper

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a pirate's favourite sport?

Barrrsketball

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lenzar86
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a zombie that loves sports?

A die hard fan

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BunzarTheFuzzy
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Why isn’t suntanning an Olympic sport?

Cause you can only get bronze.

πŸ‘︎ 605
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Clbull
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2018
🚨︎ report
What's a ghost's favourite sports car?

A Spookatti Scareon.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kerrangutan
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Don’t let your kids play sports with a French Coach

They’ll end up with a losing spirit

especially when they learn about the β€œi” in β€œoui”

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GEEZusChristman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Which olympic sport generates the most conversation?

Discus

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/angelking14
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
🚨︎ report
My Jalen Hurts Dad jokes based on the Oklahoma move. (For the sports fans)
  1. Huh Oklahoma seems like an OK move for him.
  2. Aw man I hate Oklahoma never thought he would Stoopsolow.
  3. Well I guess the news was going to come out Sooner or later.
  4. Not surprising I heard multiple reports Lincoln him to the Big 12.
  5. I bet Oklahoma fans are Riley happy today.
  6. (The obvious one) this move really Hirts Alabama’s title chances this year.
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/coffeegrounds55
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What adventure sport is a black man scared of?

White water rafting.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Monkeydoos
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a sports bar and a sports bra?

Dyslexia.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vouksh
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
🚨︎ report
All winter sports fans need to face the facts

Skiing is going downhill

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KelseySyntax
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I found a german sports car on my front terrace the other day.

It was a Porsche' on my porch.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What sport would communists like to introduce?

Trot-skiing

πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Huahuawei
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2017
🚨︎ report
Whenever I play sports, I want as many Canadians as possible on my team.

They always bring their 'eh' game.

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BlackjackCoolio
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2018
🚨︎ report
I am into extreme sports....

I like to tell angry women to β€œrelax”

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SnoqualmieHunter
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Some people claim that NASCAR is a dumb and dying sport.

But those people are just racist.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kopextacy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What number is also a sport?

Ten is.

πŸ‘︎ 687
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Colinmacus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2017
🚨︎ report
My pet eagle is proficient in sports, music, academics and work

You could say that he's a Talon-ted bird

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ryan_the_raging99
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a sports car being driven by a scantily clad sheep....

.. It was a lamb bikini.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/air28uk
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call poor sports who are drunk?

Malty.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/instantskrub997
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Does your dad play any sports No he hates sports *dad walks in

Hey sport

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hicksaredicks
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are ball-based sports illegal in Canada?

Because then it would be cannibalism.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MightyOtaku
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Why can’t you play sports in the wild

Because of the cheetahs

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SamVane24
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Sports channel in the men's washroom...

He is peein'

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mmrtnt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Where does the King of Potatoes get his sports news?

The common taters

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/twonton
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2018
🚨︎ report
What was the pumpkin’s favorite sport?

Squash.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What was the pumpkin’s favorite sport?

Squash.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What was the pumpkin’s favorite sport?

Squash.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a pumpkins favorite sport?

Squash

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cheerfulsith
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I just do it for kicks.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DannyGere
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2019
🚨︎ report

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