Soccer pun
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MikeinPerth
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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Why did the ghost soccer team win all their games?

They were amazing at possessing the ball.

*My son's joke. I'm so proud.

πŸ‘︎ 724
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArcticTrek
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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If Father Christmas played soccer, what position would he play ?

Santa forward.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team?

She kept running from the ball.

πŸ‘︎ 108
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sw33tcheeks427
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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A youth soccer team that won gold at a tournament also stopped a thief that same day.

And he would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those medalling kids.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ninety-five95
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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Soccer coach to newbie: "Basically, you kick this ball down the field and try to get it into that big net at the end."

"That's the goal at least."

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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My wife plays soccer with her hands.

She's a keeper.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CyberOGa3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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After my son’s team won the soccer tournament, the goalkeeper invited the two of us for a party.

It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.

πŸ‘︎ 428
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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What lights up a soccer stadium?

A soccer match

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/profusly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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After my son’s team won the soccer game, the goalkeeper invited us to his house for a party.

It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
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Why did Cinderella get kicked out of the soccer game?

She ran away from the ball.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/freekrai
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
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I'm in love with soccer balls.

I get a real kick out of them.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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Peach soccer or peach volley?
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/f3derico
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
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What do you call a dog that mediates soccer games?

A rufferee

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChalupaTamer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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Soccer cos play
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DueTry9
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
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A player asked why I shut down the soccer game suddenly when his mother started cussing and yelling...

I replied, "ask your mom. The reason is a parent."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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How do you light up a soccer stadium?

With a soccer match

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/howiewu0402
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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My son’s first dad joke: my wife asked if we were going to play soccer, or if we’re too tired.

Son: we’re not bicycles.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lankyjay16
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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How does a soccer player insult someone?

"You son of a pitch"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Free_Forever876
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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After my son’s soccer game, the goalkeeper invited the two of us for a party afterwards.

It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
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What does the announcer for the Miners Soccer League say when someone scores?

COOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAL

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HVDREW
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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Who is the most unclean soccer player?

Messi.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LostTesticle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
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Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?

She always runs away from the ball

πŸ‘︎ 369
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lizzieJH4
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
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I’m not playing soccer because I’m good at it.

I’m just doing it for kicks.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RichNCrispy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
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Just started dating a soccer player.

I think he's a keeper.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jinx_Jonx
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
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Can anyone help me come up with soccer player/Halloween puns

Any help will be much appreciated! Some examples for what I need are..

Count Ronaldo, Lionel Mummy, and Frankeneymar

These are kinda week lol give me some of your best ones!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jonathantj12
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
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Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?

It was a ball hogger.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kilokiilo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
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Did you hear about the team of white guys that tried to compete in an all vietnamese soccer league?

They didnt Nguyen a single game

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JCokeDaKilla
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
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Why are soccer stadiums at risk for burning down?

Because of all the matches.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
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Why do Italians love soccer?

Because they get to switch sides halfway through.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
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Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer?

Her coach was a pumpkin and she was always running away from the ball.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/esoper1976
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
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Know what my kids' bedroom and soccer player Lionel have in common?

They're both Messi.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CAdamH
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
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I was playing soccer and wondered how they could kick the ball so far

Then it hit me

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fab-_-
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
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Soccer joke from my 10y: what’s the difference between Germany and a tea bag?

A tea bag spends more time in the cup.

πŸ‘︎ 352
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gbarwis
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2018
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Why do soccer players hate shallow pools?

Because there is no diving.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/snypershot
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
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Why do soccer fans have problems with their parents?

Their room is very Messi.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SGE_Schnitzel
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
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For the soccer fans out there
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Helios14
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
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Soccer Moms in the UK
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πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
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Help I'm announcing a high school soccer banquet tonight and need some dad jokes

Greeting, I'm the MC at a small high school soccer banquet this evening and need some humor help. I play rugby and my son plays soccer so any little digs I can get about that would be helpful too. We are American and I don't know any pro soccer player so please refrain on specific players. Thanks in advance.

πŸ‘︎ 581
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hals318
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2016
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport

I'm just doing it for the kicks.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Markvaldek
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
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After my son’s team won the soccer tournament, the goalkeeper invited us for a party afterwards.

It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
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How do you light up a soccer stadium

You have a soccer match!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/howiewu0402
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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After my son’s team won the soccer tournament, their goalkeeper invited both of us to a party to celebrate.

It was the father, son, and the goalie host.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
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What lights up a soccer stadium?

A soccer match.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
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