Hockey pun
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marveeeeeee
πŸ“…︎ May 15
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Relationships between hockey πŸ’ players and figure skaters are always doomed to failure.

No one is willing to break the ice.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fladavpam
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
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Did you hear about the benefit hockey game for leprosy?

There was a face off in the corner.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Powskiologist1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28
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What do you call a hockey player that raps?

Tupuc

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πŸ‘€︎ u/prophetshuldham
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
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My teammates hate that I don’t pass when I play hockey.

I honestly don’t give a puck.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Civilian76
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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When I was young, my parents used to buy all my sports gear but now that I’m an adult I figured I should splurge and buy myself a nice hockey stick. When I went looking at the store I realized that my parents would only buy me low quality, inexpensive sticks to save money.

Cheapskates!........cheap helmets, cheap gloves...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/deathorcharcoal
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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A hockey player collided with another player on the ice and knocked out a few of his teeth.

However it was acci-dental.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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What's the zamboni doing at the hockey rink right before a match?

Initialicing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mauriel_w
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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You and your wife are playing hockey and she shoots

She Mrs. the net!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asadleafsfan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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Since hockey has been canceled, nobody has seen the Zamboni driver

But I’m sure he’ll resurface eventually.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/diabeticdestroyer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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A chicken was put into the penalty box during a hockey game.

Apparently he was suspected of fowl play.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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What was hockey called before it became popular in Canada?

Hock.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bukkakkemassacre
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
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Did you hear about the basketball player who tried to shoot hoops on a hockey rink?

Scottie Slippen

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NateTheSimpleOne
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
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Tonight I took my son to hockey practice and realized my wife forgot to pack his jersey from the dryer.

She told me she had everything, and I was in a rush. So it got left behind. Figured it out right away as we were getting him changed and messaged my wife. She said she would bring it right away. I told my son "You mom is going to run your jersey over"

Without skipping a beat, he replied "Well that won't work, practice will probably be over. I wish she would just drive it over"

Then he gave me a huge grin. I told him he won the dad joke of the day and he continued smiling all the way until bedtime.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MilkCanMatt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
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Why is it always so cool at a hockey rink?

Because of all the fans.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
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Recently found out that Stan Lee was an exceptional hockey player.

At his very first practice, he already had the Stanley Cup..

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
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Where do hockey coaches do their paperwork?

Off ice!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/myutopian
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
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Why do hockey players wear so many pads?

Because they have 3 periods a game.

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hoppedup82
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2018
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The toothbrush was invented by a retired hockey player

Otherwise it would be called a teethbrush wouldn't it?

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
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Hopefully I'm not Fin'ed for this (from r/hockey)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/akup11
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2018
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I always wanted to name my kid Thustorm, and teach him to play hockey well enough to get him scouted by Boston...

...then I could say "Thustorm's a Bruin."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/asphaltdragon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
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Pun Request: Facilities Department needs a team name for an office wide Bubble Hockey Team

Any ideas on bringing Office Management and Hockey Terms together for a good team name?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoJohnTrumbal
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2018
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After numerous icings in a hockey game, a player was sent to the penalty box.

He needed time to thaw out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
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( X-post) Someone once asked me to make a joke about Detroit's hockey team.

I said I wasn't prepared and I would have to wing it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
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Why doesnt Jesus play hockey?

He keeps getting nailed to the boards.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Canadbis
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
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I'll bet the van is full of hockey sticks and Moosehead
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MilPens
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2018
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My dad was watching hockey was yelling at the tv because the ref didn't call a penalty for high sticking

I told him to chill and he said "I AM CHILL" so I yelled back "I THOUGHT YOU WERE DAD".. That's right.. I dad joked my dad

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Braydon-J-Durham
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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Do you know why girls hate hockey?

Because they have to change their pads after every period

(Another joke courtesy of my father, he’s 2 for 2 tonight)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Primusmulti
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
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I was watching a boxing match last night and a hockey broke out.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Drfox9898
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
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Let’s make like a hockey team

And get the puck out of here

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/conventionalguy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
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I want to form a hockey team with a bunch of old men named Gerald...

and call it the "GerryHatTricks."

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Incrediblyjamon
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2014
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A question about hockey jerseys

Does the NHL team Devils always play their home games in new jerseys?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sunviking
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2018
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I asked a real estate agent how much it would cost to buy a hockey stadium.

But she said she could only give me a ballpark estimate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zephyrcoco
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2018
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What do you call a hockey team full of old people?

The Jerry hat tricks

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pajigles
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
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The Anaheim hockey team should have a giveaway night where they pass out pucks with their logo on them.

Duck pucks.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bathroom_Pninja
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2017
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Did you hear about the incontinent hockey player and his new hairpiece?

He piddled and parted and pucked around.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pluto_Rising
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2018
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Ice Hockey...

what a cool sport.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2076baseballbat
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2017
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I was watching the hockey game last night...

... and I gotta say that last play was the icing on the cake

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πŸ‘€︎ u/munchlaxmaster
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2013
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My Catholic school teachers were like hockey goalies.

They were always trying to stop people from scoring.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2017
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There was a dad behind me at a hockey game last night.

The opening period was almost over, the crowd was quiet as there wasn't much action going on and suddenly I hear a lone dad behind me ask loudly to the crowd, 'How many minutes are remaining in the period?' In perfect timing the arena announcer then exclaims over the loudspeaker, 'There is one minute remaining in the period. One minute.' I smirked and the dad was the only one who laughed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ajones321
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2014
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My dad at the Hockey Hall of Fame.

Me: I want to try on the Team Russia jersey...

Dad: Go ahead!

Me: Help me bring them down so I can try the different sizes.

Dad: Why can't you do it yourself?

Me: Just help me so I can check!!

Dad: You said you wanted Russian not Czech.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mandudehey
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2015
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Since hockey has been cancelled, no one has seen the Zamboni driver...

But I’m sure he’ll resurface eventually.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OCR9
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
🚨︎ report
(X-post) Someone once asked me to make a joke about Detroit's hockey team.

I said I wasn't prepared and I would have to wing it.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Leper hockey team?

They had a face off in the corner.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wintermaulz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2018
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Why did they stop the leper hockey game?

There was a face off in the corner

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wyman227
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2017
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