Rugby Puns

Because they always award against professional fowls.

A drugby player

Because there is no try, only do, or do not.

Give it a try, you might be converted.

But all everyone had to say was "nice try."

...sew he went to the hospital. Since his life was hanging by a thread, the doctors decided that they'd use a blanket method to help him out: stitches. Warms my heart to say that he's all patched up now.

I tried.

At my daughter's university yesterday for a summer preview day. In a parent 's session on student activities, we were talking about the rugby clubs when one of the dads remarks, "Is it true that the coach of the women's rugby team is named Eleanor. You know, Eleanor Rugby."

A Try-ceratops

Brother: "My thumb feels better"

Me: "What happened?"

Brother: "I got crushed under a rook." (A rugby rook)

Me: "Ouch."

Dad: "Yeah, chess really is a dangerous game huh?"

groan

Greeting, I'm the MC at a small high school soccer banquet this evening and need some humor help. I play rugby and my son plays soccer so any little digs I can get about that would be helpful too. We are American and I don't know any pro soccer player so please refrain on specific players. Thanks in advance.

Rugby

My Dad has always been a bit cool (plays in bands, hangs around with much younger guys etc) but at the weekend, on his 67th birthday, he FINALLY Dad joked me.

We were talking about the local rugby team and I said "They're playing a French team. I think it's Toulouse?"

He said "That's not very positive is it? Playing to lose."

"No wait," I said, checking the website, "They're playing Toulon!"

"Ohh, well in that case, it won't be a short game...."

I finally feel like a proper daughter.

So I'm concussed during my high-school rugby game, after which we head to the hospital. Important to mention that I was a member of my school's jazz band, and had a concert coming up. I get checked out by the doc, minor concussion. He's going over the stuff with my dad on what to watch out for (be careful with naps, no contact sports for a while etc.) and my dad asks if I'd be able to play the trumpet in next week's concert. The doc says he thinks it might not be the best idea. So my dad asks, will he at least be able to play the piano? Doc replies that yes, I'd be able to play the piano.
"That's great, he wasn't able play it before the concussion!"
Took a second for the doctor to realize what happened, after which he seemed to sigh with exhaustion and laughed.

We were at a rugby game and I offered my dad my mints, he took one and put the packet on the floor with a grin. I said why'd you put them there? He replied "they're for Ron." I asked who Ron was He replied with "he's just late." About 30 seconds past and I looked at him dumbfounded and asked him where and who this mysterious Ron is? He picked up the mints ate the last couple and said "I was just saving them for Later on" Edit: not sure I made sense but Later on.... LateRon.... Late Ron ughhhh

My dad got me with a good one earlier today. In Britain there is a lot of rain so I said ME: a rugby match in Wales is cancelled today, they've got a waterlogged pitch Dad: I thought whales would've preferred underwater pitches

So me and my sister were in the car with my dad talking about school. she mentions that her friend had stapled her hand and my dad goes "what was she afraid she'd loose it?". Later she was talking about a general knowledge quiz she had to do, one of the questions was how many people are on a rugby team and my dad responds with "all of them."

I played rugby at the weekend and my left leg and arm were still aching. I turned to him and said: > my left side is still hurting today

> don't worry, you're all-right

I couldn't speak, he just laughed, stood up, and left.