Why do referees in professional rugby always give penalties against chickens?

Because they always award against professional fowls.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RasberryOnline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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What do you call a rugby player who took doping to gain an edge against his opponents?

A drugby player

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NicolasReadsStuff
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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Why isn’t Master Yoda a fan of rugby?

Because there is no try, only do, or do not.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/darth-noxious
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
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Not sure about playing rugby?

Give it a try, you might be converted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Neviss99
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
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I had a go at rugby recently. I thought I did well...

But all everyone had to say was "nice try."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/74CK
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2018
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A quilt seriously injured himself playing rugby...

...sew he went to the hospital. Since his life was hanging by a thread, the doctors decided that they'd use a blanket method to help him out: stitches. Warms my heart to say that he's all patched up now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/refusalskills
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2018
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I think the thing is with Rugby is that if you don't win, you just need to try and try again.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/padadonan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2017
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A friend asked me if I wanted play some rugby with his team last week.

I tried.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevinnetter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2018
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Rugby dad

At my daughter's university yesterday for a summer preview day. In a parent 's session on student activities, we were talking about the rugby clubs when one of the dads remarks, "Is it true that the coach of the women's rugby team is named Eleanor. You know, Eleanor Rugby."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anyeyeball
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2015
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Which dinosaur is the best rugby player?

A Try-ceratops

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whakahoa
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2015
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My dad and rugby...

Brother: "My thumb feels better"

Me: "What happened?"

Brother: "I got crushed under a rook." (A rugby rook)

Me: "Ouch."

Dad: "Yeah, chess really is a dangerous game huh?"

groan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cookie_Jr
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2014
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Help I'm announcing a high school soccer banquet tonight and need some dad jokes

Greeting, I'm the MC at a small high school soccer banquet this evening and need some humor help. I play rugby and my son plays soccer so any little digs I can get about that would be helpful too. We are American and I don't know any pro soccer player so please refrain on specific players. Thanks in advance.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hals318
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2016
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What’s a carpet’s favorite sport?

Rugby

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ayyyyysdf165
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
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My Dad *finally* Dad Joked me! I'm so happy.

My Dad has always been a bit cool (plays in bands, hangs around with much younger guys etc) but at the weekend, on his 67th birthday, he FINALLY Dad joked me.

We were talking about the local rugby team and I said "They're playing a French team. I think it's Toulouse?"

He said "That's not very positive is it? Playing to lose."

"No wait," I said, checking the website, "They're playing Toulon!"

"Ohh, well in that case, it won't be a short game...."

I finally feel like a proper daughter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/poodleflange
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2016
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Post concussion

So I'm concussed during my high-school rugby game, after which we head to the hospital. Important to mention that I was a member of my school's jazz band, and had a concert coming up. I get checked out by the doc, minor concussion. He's going over the stuff with my dad on what to watch out for (be careful with naps, no contact sports for a while etc.) and my dad asks if I'd be able to play the trumpet in next week's concert. The doc says he thinks it might not be the best idea. So my dad asks, will he at least be able to play the piano? Doc replies that yes, I'd be able to play the piano.
"That's great, he wasn't able play it before the concussion!"
Took a second for the doctor to realize what happened, after which he seemed to sigh with exhaustion and laughed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sundance91
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2015
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This one made me sputter

My dad got me with a good one earlier today. In Britain there is a lot of rain so I said ME: a rugby match in Wales is cancelled today, they've got a waterlogged pitch Dad: I thought whales would've preferred underwater pitches

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRealEnglishman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2014
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He got me good this time.

We were at a rugby game and I offered my dad my mints, he took one and put the packet on the floor with a grin. I said why'd you put them there? He replied "they're for Ron." I asked who Ron was He replied with "he's just late." About 30 seconds past and I looked at him dumbfounded and asked him where and who this mysterious Ron is? He picked up the mints ate the last couple and said "I was just saving them for Later on" Edit: not sure I made sense but Later on.... LateRon.... Late Ron ughhhh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marcogelato
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2014
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My dad pulled these on me yesterday

So me and my sister were in the car with my dad talking about school. she mentions that her friend had stapled her hand and my dad goes "what was she afraid she'd loose it?". Later she was talking about a general knowledge quiz she had to do, one of the questions was how many people are on a rugby team and my dad responds with "all of them."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gambit_The_Epix
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2014
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My co-worker got me today

I played rugby at the weekend and my left leg and arm were still aching. I turned to him and said: > my left side is still hurting today

> don't worry, you're all-right

I couldn't speak, he just laughed, stood up, and left.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slamalamafistvag
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2014
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