Someone broke into my garage last night, stole my tools and stuff, but I can't believe they took my limbo stick too.
Seriously..how low can you go ?
ποΈ 137
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οΈ Jun 02 2021
There was a story in the paper today about a dog that ran 3 miles just to find a stick...
I thought it was a little far fetched.
ποΈ 45
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οΈ May 26 2021
What do you call crows that stick close together?
ποΈ 178
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οΈ Mar 19 2021
What sticks to everything, is full of nuts and leaves brown stains on your shorts?
ποΈ 3
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οΈ May 26 2021
I don't understand why people switch between liquid glue and glue sticks.
I say, just choose one and stick with it.
ποΈ 2
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οΈ May 23 2021
I used to think that only sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me.
Until I fell in a printing press.
ποΈ 7
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οΈ May 11 2021
During the Olympics, I met a European man holding 2 large sticks.
I asked him "Are you by any chance a pole- vaulter?"
He looked surprised "Nein, I'm German, but how did you know my name vas Valter?"
ποΈ 7
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οΈ May 09 2021
My mates got cross with me for going on and on about how fun it is to drive stick. They suggested changing the subject.
I told them that I would shift as best I could...
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Apr 15 2021
I accidentally gave my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick.
She still isn't talking to me
ποΈ 52
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οΈ Mar 26 2021
I tried gluing my company's HR policies to myself, but they wouldn't stick...
I guess the rules don't apply to me.
ποΈ 7
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οΈ Apr 19 2021
Did you hear they are not making yard sticks any longer?
Theyβre not making them any shorter either.
ποΈ 49
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οΈ Mar 12 2021
Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face".
ποΈ 13k
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οΈ Sep 22 2020
My brother sees me near our tent, putting his E-reader on a pile of sticks.
He yells: "What the hell are you doing, Some_Dumb_Dude?!"
I say: "What's with the tone? You have to use Kindle to make a fire, Right?
'Ba dum tss'
He just sighs. "I hate you."
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Apr 08 2021
Just lit my grill and I held a flaming stick in front of my sons face...
Son: STOP! Itβs never funny to joke around with fire!
Me: (looks at the fire) Why did the chicken cross the road?
The wife and I were crying laughing while the son went inside and locked us out of the house. πππ
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Mar 28 2021
Caught my kids throwing sticks of butter up in the air in our backyard.
They said they wanted to see butterflies!
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Mar 24 2021
I always believed that 'sticks and stones would break my bones, but words would never hurt me.'
Until I fell into a printing press.
ποΈ 25
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οΈ Jan 09 2021
They rescheduled the quarterly pogo stick competition.
They had to wait for the he spring.
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Jan 29 2021
I work for the Marvel Comics Fairy Agency making magic sticks.
I'm a part of the WANDaVision.
ποΈ 4
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οΈ Feb 10 2021
My son and I went camping yesterday and when he asked me how to start a campfire, I explained, "You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure theyβre the same..."
"Then youβll have a match."
ποΈ 27
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οΈ Jan 06 2021
What sticks up when you turn it on?
ποΈ 47
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οΈ Oct 24 2020
I'll stick to my ribs
A woman walked into the kitchen one day and saw, much to her horror, her husband sitting at the table with blood all over most of his face, his chest, hands, arm, and on the table. She watched for a moment, shocked, as he began pouring barbeque sauce on his arm where most of the blood was coming from.
"Stop that! What are you doing!? What happened to your arm?!" She finally managed to scream as she unjammed all the words trying to flow out at once.
Her husband looked at her with a disgusted frown and a shake of his head and replied "I've made a terrible me-steak"
ποΈ 5
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οΈ Jan 12 2021
WD40 could be called "Lubrican", but the name won't stick.
ποΈ 10
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οΈ Oct 14 2020
The second meme I've ever made. Not sure if I should stick with it.
ποΈ 503
π
οΈ Apr 12 2020
don't stick your finger in crazy
ποΈ 97
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οΈ Jun 25 2020
Just heard some pretty sad news about yard sticks
Did you know they aren't making yard sticks any longer?
ποΈ 12
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οΈ Oct 14 2020
A man was killed with only a stick of deodorant
It was the first Degree murder
ποΈ 13
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οΈ Oct 29 2020
Why did the little walnut stick money to his feet?
Because he really wanted to be a cash-shoe.
ποΈ 26
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οΈ Nov 22 2020
Why do beginner artist always forget to draw the stick figureβs thumb when they draw a fist?
They forgot the punchline
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Oct 27 2020
When I was young, my parents used to buy all my sports gear but now that Iβm an adult I figured I should splurge and buy myself a nice hockey stick. When I went looking at the store I realized that my parents would only buy me low quality, inexpensive sticks to save money.
Cheapskates!........cheap helmets, cheap gloves...
ποΈ 38
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οΈ Nov 01 2020
Chicken on a stick is called chicken skewers. Pork on a stick is a pork skewers. What do you call a horse on a stick?
ποΈ 20
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οΈ Oct 11 2020
My dog has been chewing on sticks when let her outside.
Now she barks out of both ends.
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Nov 03 2020
Whatβs the difference between a piano, tuna, and a glue stick?
You can tuna piano but you canβt piano a tuna
***Credit to my physics teacher for this joke
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Oct 08 2020
Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet
He was looking for Pooh
Old I know...
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Nov 22 2020
Why is a wooden USB stick worthless?
Because it's all bark and no byte.
ποΈ 10
π
οΈ Nov 10 2020
Whatβs the difference between a fish, a piano, and a stick of glue?
You canβt tuna fish!
βWhat about the glue?β
I knew youβd get stuck on that!
ποΈ 151
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οΈ May 31 2020
I'm never using stick deodorant again...
The instructions said " remove cap and push up bottom"
I can hardly walk.
ποΈ 134
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οΈ Jul 05 2020
Why did the bank hire a dog that collects sticks?
They needed a new branch manager.
ποΈ 10
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οΈ Sep 21 2020
I've got a great offer on Pritt Stick for celiacs...
Buy nine glues, get gluten free...
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Oct 25 2020
I canβt believe someone broke into my garage and stole my limbo stick!
Like, seriously. How low can you go?
ποΈ 110
π
οΈ Apr 08 2021
I can't believe someone stole my limbo stick.
Like seriously, how low can you go ?
ποΈ 114
π
οΈ Jan 31 2021
The other day my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally gave her a glue stick
She still isn't talking to me
ποΈ 719
π
οΈ Nov 28 2020
What do you call birds that stick together?
ποΈ 106
π
οΈ Nov 12 2020
Last week, someone went into my garage and stole my limbo stick
Like seriously, how low can you go?
ποΈ 29
π
οΈ Jan 15 2021
I accidentally gave my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick.
She still isn't talking to me
ποΈ 7k
π
οΈ Mar 21 2020
Ugh. My garage was broken into and someone stole my Limbo Stick.
Seriously now, how low can you go?
ποΈ 207
π
οΈ Sep 11 2020
I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of chap stick this morning.
She's still not speaking to me.
ποΈ 75
π
οΈ Oct 04 2020
Someone broke into my garage last night and stole my limbo stick!
How could they go so low?
ποΈ 43
π
οΈ Sep 16 2020
What do you call birds that stick together?
ποΈ 20
π
οΈ Nov 22 2020
So I heard they are not making yard sticks any longer.
Just 3 feet and no longer.
ποΈ 7
π
οΈ Nov 13 2020
Can't believe someone broke into my garage and stole the limbo stick...
Seriously, how low can you go?
ποΈ 15
π
οΈ Sep 09 2020
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