Someone broke into my garage last night, stole my tools and stuff, but I can't believe they took my limbo stick too.

Seriously..how low can you go ?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 137
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 02 2021
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There was a story in the paper today about a dog that ran 3 miles just to find a stick...

I thought it was a little far fetched.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 45
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MrsTrickyPig
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 26 2021
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What do you call crows that stick close together?

Velcrows

πŸ‘οΈŽ 178
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/timbillyosu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 19 2021
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What sticks to everything, is full of nuts and leaves brown stains on your shorts?

Peanut butter

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 26 2021
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I don't understand why people switch between liquid glue and glue sticks.

I say, just choose one and stick with it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/WarCrimesinBelarus
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 23 2021
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I used to think that only sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me.

Until I fell in a printing press.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheAzrael2013
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 11 2021
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During the Olympics, I met a European man holding 2 large sticks.

I asked him "Are you by any chance a pole- vaulter?"

He looked surprised "Nein, I'm German, but how did you know my name vas Valter?"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ExtraSure
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 09 2021
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My mates got cross with me for going on and on about how fun it is to drive stick. They suggested changing the subject.

I told them that I would shift as best I could...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/djar399
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 15 2021
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I accidentally gave my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick.

She still isn't talking to me

πŸ‘οΈŽ 52
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 26 2021
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I tried gluing my company's HR policies to myself, but they wouldn't stick...

I guess the rules don't apply to me.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/shercroft
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 19 2021
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Did you hear they are not making yard sticks any longer?

They’re not making them any shorter either.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 49
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lvrcerosis
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 12 2021
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Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face".

That was the punchline

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/neo-1000
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 22 2020
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My brother sees me near our tent, putting his E-reader on a pile of sticks.

He yells: "What the hell are you doing, Some_Dumb_Dude?!"

I say: "What's with the tone? You have to use Kindle to make a fire, Right?

'Ba dum tss'

He just sighs. "I hate you."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Some_Dumb_Dude_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 08 2021
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Just lit my grill and I held a flaming stick in front of my sons face...

Son: STOP! It’s never funny to joke around with fire!

Me: (looks at the fire) Why did the chicken cross the road?

The wife and I were crying laughing while the son went inside and locked us out of the house. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/planetmerc5500
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 28 2021
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Caught my kids throwing sticks of butter up in the air in our backyard.

They said they wanted to see butterflies!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lodiman77
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 24 2021
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I always believed that 'sticks and stones would break my bones, but words would never hurt me.'

Until I fell into a printing press.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 09 2021
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They rescheduled the quarterly pogo stick competition.

They had to wait for the he spring.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Shu-di
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 29 2021
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I work for the Marvel Comics Fairy Agency making magic sticks.

I'm a part of the WANDaVision.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Ihateentitledparents
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 10 2021
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My son and I went camping yesterday and when he asked me how to start a campfire, I explained, "You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same..."

"Then you’ll have a match."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 06 2021
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What sticks up when you turn it on?

A light switch

πŸ‘οΈŽ 47
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cjphillips612
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 24 2020
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I'll stick to my ribs

A woman walked into the kitchen one day and saw, much to her horror, her husband sitting at the table with blood all over most of his face, his chest, hands, arm, and on the table. She watched for a moment, shocked, as he began pouring barbeque sauce on his arm where most of the blood was coming from.

"Stop that! What are you doing!? What happened to your arm?!" She finally managed to scream as she unjammed all the words trying to flow out at once.

Her husband looked at her with a disgusted frown and a shake of his head and replied "I've made a terrible me-steak"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dazmo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 12 2021
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WD40 could be called "Lubrican", but the name won't stick.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/gpsq
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 14 2020
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The second meme I've ever made. Not sure if I should stick with it.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 503
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Coorotaku
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 12 2020
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don't stick your finger in crazy
πŸ‘οΈŽ 97
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/floofysox
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 25 2020
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Just heard some pretty sad news about yard sticks

Did you know they aren't making yard sticks any longer?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BeachPeachMcgee
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 14 2020
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A man was killed with only a stick of deodorant

It was the first Degree murder

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MitchOnTheMic
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 29 2020
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Why did the little walnut stick money to his feet?

Because he really wanted to be a cash-shoe.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Select-Atmosphere110
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 22 2020
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Why do beginner artist always forget to draw the stick figure’s thumb when they draw a fist?

They forgot the punchline

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SleepyCrow07
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 27 2020
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When I was young, my parents used to buy all my sports gear but now that I’m an adult I figured I should splurge and buy myself a nice hockey stick. When I went looking at the store I realized that my parents would only buy me low quality, inexpensive sticks to save money.

Cheapskates!........cheap helmets, cheap gloves...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 38
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/deathorcharcoal
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 01 2020
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Chicken on a stick is called chicken skewers. Pork on a stick is a pork skewers. What do you call a horse on a stick?

Carousel

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/drumsXgaming
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 11 2020
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My dog has been chewing on sticks when let her outside.

Now she barks out of both ends.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/loddytoddy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 03 2020
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What’s the difference between a piano, tuna, and a glue stick?

You can tuna piano but you can’t piano a tuna

***Credit to my physics teacher for this joke

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NingenUser
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 08 2020
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Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet

He was looking for Pooh

Old I know...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mlrous
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 22 2020
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Why is a wooden USB stick worthless?

Because it's all bark and no byte.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GameOnTheWay
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 10 2020
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What’s the difference between a fish, a piano, and a stick of glue?

You can’t tuna fish!

β€œWhat about the glue?”

I knew you’d get stuck on that!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 151
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bbirdyy55
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 31 2020
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I'm never using stick deodorant again...

The instructions said " remove cap and push up bottom"

I can hardly walk.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 134
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Richo_HATS2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 05 2020
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Why did the bank hire a dog that collects sticks?

They needed a new branch manager.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MarioMakerProcess
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 21 2020
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I've got a great offer on Pritt Stick for celiacs...

Buy nine glues, get gluten free...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/chewingthefatchungus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 25 2020
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I can’t believe someone broke into my garage and stole my limbo stick!

Like, seriously. How low can you go?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 110
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thedudenamedjay
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 08 2021
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I can't believe someone stole my limbo stick.

Like seriously, how low can you go ?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 114
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BogdanAnime
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 31 2021
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The other day my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally gave her a glue stick

She still isn't talking to me

πŸ‘οΈŽ 719
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Hud_is_on
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 28 2020
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What do you call birds that stick together?

Velcrows!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 106
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RudigherJones
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 12 2020
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Last week, someone went into my garage and stole my limbo stick

Like seriously, how low can you go?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 29
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DevilRyder
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 15 2021
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I accidentally gave my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick.

She still isn't talking to me

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 21 2020
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Ugh. My garage was broken into and someone stole my Limbo Stick.

Seriously now, how low can you go?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 207
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/professorf
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 11 2020
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I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of chap stick this morning.

She's still not speaking to me.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 75
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tim_naduvilath
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 04 2020
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Someone broke into my garage last night and stole my limbo stick!

How could they go so low?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 43
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call birds that stick together?

Vel-Crows

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/reefer_rat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 22 2020
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So I heard they are not making yard sticks any longer.

Just 3 feet and no longer.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cabbithunt
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 13 2020
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Can't believe someone broke into my garage and stole the limbo stick...

Seriously, how low can you go?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Vectorix36
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report

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