My friend started a company a few years ago that binds quantities of material together...

He makes a bundle!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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My Asian friend owns a business where he twists and binds white t-shirts then soaks them in colored liquid...

I even have one of her Thai dye t-shirts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
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I met a kid who couldn’t spell the word β€œbind”

I was spellbound

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πŸ‘€︎ u/neurotichipster
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2018
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Why is Binding of Issacc Kratos's favourite game?

Because he loves his BOI!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordChuggington
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
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I once gave a class about binding things tightly.

I taut knot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2018
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If H2O is water, what is H2O4?

Drinking.

Edit: to the people turning this into an β€œACKSHUALLY it’s hydroxyperoxide/tetraoxidane/non-existent chemical bind!” chemistry moment, just chill, it’s a dad joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/biorod
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
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I've hopefully got a book coming out soon

I shouldn't have eaten it really

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πŸ‘€︎ u/st_jimmy_02
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
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I bought a do it yourself book on Amazon.

I only got paper, bindings and glue in the mail

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
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Nobody goes to the library anymore unless it's after lunch

and that's only to see the readers digest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chemispe
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2017
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Didn't realize it was a Dad Joke until too late...

A little context: I'm driving around in Yellowstone with my dad and my girlfriend. My dad went on a three week cross country ski winter camping trip when he was 17 in Yellowstone. We are currently talking about whether or not it is important to carry bear spray.

Dad: "Did I ever tell you about that time I woke up a bear on my ski trip?"

Me: "What?! No, that's crazy, what happened?"

Dad: "Well, we were skiing through an open field when we hear a rumbling from about 100 yards behind us, and we turn back and there's a huge bear, and he looks at us and starts lumbering in our direction. At the time, I was with this girl who was not a very good skier, but we were pretty sure black bears can't climb trees, so we start hustling towards the woods. So I'm pulling her along and this bear is gaining on us but we get to the closest climbable tree and the bear is still 50 yards back. Like I said, she wasn't a very good skier, or really very coordinated in general, so I help boost her up into the tree and she's up there and she's pretty safe, but this took a minute and a lot of my energy. So now the bear is only about 15 feet away, and I've still got my skis on, and, you know, back then we didn't have fancy cross country skis, we had these big metal cable bindings and leather lace up boots, so I definitely don't have time to get them off. And I'm so exhausted from dragging this girl across the field and then shoving her up into the tree that I've got almost nothing left, and the first branch is about 8 feet off the ground. But this bear is coming at me and there's nothing I can do but jump for it, so I leap and pull myself up and over the branch using everything I've got right as the bear lunges for me and bites into my ski boot. So here I am, doubled over this branch with a bear's jaws on my foot, my skis on, and not one ounce of energy left, and he's really sinking his teeth in and he's really just pulling my leg just like I'm pulling yours!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pipore22
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2014
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Star Wars Puns

From movie puns we provide you the funniest collection of Star Wars puns

What do you call 5 siths piled on top of a lightsaber? A Sith-Kabob!


Why does Princess Leia keep her hair tied up in buns? So it doesn’t Hang Solow!


Why shouldn’t you ask Yoda for money? Because he’s always a little short


What program do Jedi use to view PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi


What do you call a Mexican jedi? Obi-Juan Kenobi


What do you call the website Chewbacca started that gives out Empire secrets? Wookieeleaks


What do you call a Jedi in denial? Obi-Wan Cannot Be


Where does Princess Leia go shopping for clothing? At the Darth Maul


Greg: Which Star Wars character travels around the world? Craig: Who? Greg: Globi-wan Kenobi!


Matthew: What does a Star Destroyer wear to a wedding? Daniel: What? Matthew: Bow ties, of course!


Deen Why was the droid angry? Mark: Why? Deen People kept pushing its buttons.


Luke: Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road? Lei Not sure. Luke: To get to the Dark Side.


Darth Vader: I know what you’re getting for Christmas. Luke: How do you know? Darth Vader: I can feel your presents.


What do Whipids say when they kiss? Ouch.


What is a jedi’s favorite toy? A yo-yoda


What do you call a pirate droid? Argh2-D2


Where does Jabba the Hutt eat? Pizza Hutt


What is Jabba the Hutt’s middle name? β€œThe” Why is Han Solo a loner? Because he’s solo.


What do you call a Mexican jedi? Obi-Juan Kenobi What do you call a Sith who won’t fight? A Sithy.


What time is it when Darth Vader steps on your chronometer? Time to get a new chronometer.


What do you call a pirate droid? Arrrrgh-2-D2


Which side of a wookie has the most hair? The outside.


Where does Jabba eat dinner? Pizza Hutt


Who do Jedi call to help open PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi


What do you call someone that tries to be a Jedi? Obi-Wannabe


What do you call a bounty hunter from Alabama? Bubba Fett


What time is it when Jabba the Hutt sits on your blaster? Time to get a new blaster! Why is Luke


Skywalker always invited on picnics? He always has the forks with him.


Which imperial officer hated Thanksgiving? Grand Moff Turkeyn


What do you call stormtroopers playing Monopoly? Game of Clones


Why did

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
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And I thought I told terrible puns...

I was out shopping with my dad looking to buy a wedding gift. While I'm waiting in line to make my purchase, a woman set down her purchase (about twenty binders) next to my gift on the conveyer belt. Naturally my dad questioned her bizarre purchase, to which she responded that she desperately need to organize her documents. Without missing a beat, he grinned and exclaimed, "Well I guess you were in quite a bind!"

The lady actually had quite a laugh, whereas I groaned and grumbled.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hambungler
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2015
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Super glue

My girlfriend read the superglue pack and said, "It binds to skin in seconds! PLEASE be careful cause that can get out of hand quickly."

I came back with "If it gets out of hand, I guess that means it's not working right."

On the flip side, she said she still liked me even if I'm full of bad jokes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jttran
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2015
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"Hey son, what are wind turbines called during summer?"

"What?"

"SUMMER BINDS"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/foxh8er
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2013
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