What's the difference between a shoe and a tie?
You can tie a tie, but you can't shoe a shoe.
I can tie my shoe laces just by using the power of my mind.
I bet you don't believe me...
I thought knot.
How did young Hitler tie his shoes?
activates shitty German accent
Veeth leettle Nazis
My friend asked me if I could tie a quick bowline...
I didn't tie the knot till I was 38
I am hopeless with shoelaces.
What do you call a fish wearing a tie
A man wearing a tie fastner walks into the bar.
The barman says, "We don't like your tie pin here. "
i once attended a black-tie affair in flip-flops
Did you know sheep can tie up trees?
But I wood knot do that if I were ewe.
My wife, Ming, told me, "You would look more professional without that funny bow tie." I have to wear it though. I explained to her, "My jokes aren't funny without...
Have you ever seen me tie my shoelaces with my mind?
What do you call a cat in a Tie Fighter?
What do you do when a nintendo game ends in a tie?
Someone wanted to fight about whether I was wearing a neck-tie or a cravat.
I don’t know who was right, either way my ascot kicked.
My kid thought I should be impressed that she made a zero out of a twist tie.
I told her she’s 7, she should know that means nothing.
Anyone remember the first Lennox Lewis - Evander Holyfield fight? I heard it was a black tie event.
I have a great business idea but i need someone to help me. I go to the toilet and you tie up bits of string.
Man looks everywhere for his colourful tie when his wife tells him "I'm afraid you can't wear it anymore". "Why?"
Kids these days don't know how to tie dye properly
I guess you could say it's a dying art.
Why did the butter knife put on a bow tie?
Because he wanted to look sharp.
Do You know how to tie the knot in space?
I'm floating away very quickly.
What did the tie say to the hat?
"You go on ahead, and I'll hang around here."
What do you call a 1000 pound gorilla with a suit and tie and a machine gun?
How does an ant put on a tie?
With a considerable deal of practice and skill and the correct combination of knots in the tie so it can properly be secured on the neck. It's an ant-tie joke.
Son, can you tie this rope into loops while I go to the bathroom?
If you zip-tie a stick to a ladder the ladder becomes sticky
How do you mindlessly tie a tie?
My annoying coworker asked, "Can I tell you my favorite rope tie?"
I looked rather dapper in my pants, coat and tie, if I don't say so myself!
A monastery decided to liven up their old clothes by tie-dying them, but the fabric became stiff and uncomfortable. When the Abbott asked a sister to explain, she gave a simple reply:
So the wife made me shred my favorite colored t-shirt, I named him Tie
I unfortunately had to tell the kids "Tie-Dyed"
How do you tie up an alien?
A man who makes tie dye shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his small business. While filling out the paperwork, he had a heart attack and collapsed, spilling bottles of colored dye all over his documents.
The poor man dyed a loan.
How did hitler tie his shoes?
how does Hitler tie his shoes?
My boss asked me: Why you don't have a tie?
What do you call a fish in a tie?
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