What did the tie say to the hat?
You go on ahead, I’ll just hang around for a bit.
I didn't tie the knot till I was 38
I am hopeless with shoelaces.
So, I was in a coffee shop drinking tea, and when I reached down to tie my shoe, my tea was gone!
I saw this guy with the same cup as me and chased him down the street. Finally caught up with him and realized...that’s not my cup of tea
A man wearing a tie fastner walks into the bar.
The barman says, "We don't like your tie pin here. "
What do you call a fish wearing a tie
i once attended a black-tie affair in flip-flops
Did you know sheep can tie up trees?
But I wood knot do that if I were ewe.
My wife, Ming, told me, "You would look more professional without that funny bow tie." I have to wear it though. I explained to her, "My jokes aren't funny without...
Have you ever seen me tie my shoelaces with my mind?
What do you call a cat in a Tie Fighter?
What do you do when a nintendo game ends in a tie?
Went to Nordstrom’s to pick up a new tie for my sisters wedding. I was shocked to find that they only had two left.
Both were very nice but I couldn’t decide which I liked more.
Someone wanted to fight about whether I was wearing a neck-tie or a cravat.
I don’t know who was right, either way my ascot kicked.
My kid thought I should be impressed that she made a zero out of a twist tie.
I told her she’s 7, she should know that means nothing.
Man looks everywhere for his colourful tie when his wife tells him "I'm afraid you can't wear it anymore". "Why?"
Anyone remember the first Lennox Lewis - Evander Holyfield fight? I heard it was a black tie event.
I have a great business idea but i need someone to help me. I go to the toilet and you tie up bits of string.
Do You know how to tie the knot in space?
I'm floating away very quickly.
Kids these days don't know how to tie dye properly
I guess you could say it's a dying art.
Why did the butter knife put on a bow tie?
Because he wanted to look sharp.
What do you call a 1000 pound gorilla with a suit and tie and a machine gun?
Son, can you tie this rope into loops while I go to the bathroom?
how does Hitler tie his shoes?
How does an ant put on a tie?
With a considerable deal of practice and skill and the correct combination of knots in the tie so it can properly be secured on the neck. It's an ant-tie joke.
I looked rather dapper in my pants, coat and tie, if I don't say so myself!
So the wife made me shred my favorite colored t-shirt, I named him Tie
I unfortunately had to tell the kids "Tie-Dyed"
My annoying coworker asked, "Can I tell you my favorite rope tie?"
How do you mindlessly tie a tie?
If you zip-tie a stick to a ladder the ladder becomes sticky
A monastery decided to liven up their old clothes by tie-dying them, but the fabric became stiff and uncomfortable. When the Abbott asked a sister to explain, she gave a simple reply:
A man who makes tie dye shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his small business. While filling out the paperwork, he had a heart attack and collapsed, spilling bottles of colored dye all over his documents.
The poor man dyed a loan.
How do you tie up an alien?
My son tied his first tie today.
I looked at him and told him "Knot bad son."
What kind of tie does a pig wear?
You may think the best gifts are given on Mother's Day, but Father's Day is usually a tie.
What do you call a Nazi who loves to tie knots and always says, "Nein!".
What did the tie say to the hat?
"You go on ahead, and I'll hang around here."
What do you call a fish in a tie?
My boss asked me: Why you don't have a tie?
How did Hitler tie his shoes?
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