I always thought Ruby Tuesday was by the Beatles,

turns out it's by the Cinnabon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/newfranksinatra
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Why is there less air travel on Tuesdays?

Because you're supposed Tuesday on the ground.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JaredLiwet
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I started taking our taco ingredients to make nachos on my plate when my kids started yelling "BUT IT'S TACO TUESDAY!"

To which I replied "This is nacho average Taco Tuesday"

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bearnakedgamer
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Monday: Greg. Tuesday: Ian: Wednesday: Greg. Thursday: Ian. Friday: Greg

A GregOrIan calendar

πŸ‘︎ 69
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rob_Haggis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you know the work week will get even crazier after Monday and Tuesday?

Because all that's left is WTF.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hypeaze
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Taco Tuesday

While making tacos my overly (un)helpful daughter keeps trying to help. I nicely tell her to let us make them. She asks why.

I deadpan tell her "Because it needs to be put together in the right order, or it will taste funny. And no one likes a funny tasting taco."

Wife is hiding somewhere dying.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yuaskin
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
🚨︎ report
It’s safe to say Pancake Tuesday has really...

CrΓͺpe’d up on me this year

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DalyDrop
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What explains β€œSleepy Joe’s” explosion of success on Super Tuesday, after never having won a primary in multiple previous campaigns?

He was Biden his time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BluPrince
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
🚨︎ report
It’s Super Tuesday

I choose soup

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fendaar
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
🚨︎ report
No adulting Tuesday for me!!!!!!!!!

You're kidding...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sandeky5
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Taco Tuesday
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πŸ‘€︎ u/4267SD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I mentioned intense circle jerk Tuesdays and beans earlier
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vaginakween68
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
🚨︎ report
A man got his back severely injured last Tuesday

In court, defense won. Prosecution did have anything to back up their claims

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scrjejeheheebbe
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
🚨︎ report
It’s pancake day on Tuesday.

Time flies, that really crΓͺped up on me.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Munnit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Why can't Superman eat the corn tortillas at taco Tuesday?

He's afraid of that chip tonight.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you go to the doctor last Tuesday?

You should have. There was an election lasting longer than 4 hours.

(My dad made this joke up. Seriously.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amamdatory
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2016
🚨︎ report
It's true! After Monday and Tuesday,

Even the calendar says "WTF"!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
🚨︎ report
I know a lot of you are sad because it’s a Tuesday.

But don’t forget, only 72 hours ago, it was a sadder day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jegsz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
🚨︎ report
February 22nd 2022 (2/22/22) is going to be a Tuesday

or shall I say Two'sday...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bary3000
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2016
🚨︎ report
Twofer: How many seconds are in a year? Besides Tuesday and Thursday what other days start with T?

"You don't know how many seconds are in a year off the top of your head? 12. Jan2 feb2 ....."

"Today and Tomorrow...."

These two got laid on me by the chef at my work cafeteria. The cashier aka crazy Lisa was in stitches making him tell everyone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/limberbutton
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2015
🚨︎ report
My wife forgot to order her absentee ballot for Super Tuesday.

I said we ought to drive down to Georgia, but we also have to get back to where we live shortly thereafter.

Looks like it's going to be a turn and Bern.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gothmog1114
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2016
🚨︎ report
I got a kid that had broke his arm at Big Bear on Tuesday

A kid had fallen right in front of me and broke his arm above the wrist. I went over to help and comfort him. The paramedic came and she cut his glove off, put a splint on as well as a sling. That's when I said "she likes you, so she put a sling on it" the paramedic and I laughed, the kid didn't

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πŸ‘€︎ u/litgoat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2016
🚨︎ report
Got my wife on a regular ol Tuesday night.

She had left the room and I moved her wine glass to make room for folding laundry. She returned and asked, "Where'd my glass go?" So I gave my slyest wink and said, "Scotland?" ...She thought that was so hilarious and awesome she *showered me with sweet love late into the night. *(or she groaned and rolled her eyes and we folded laundry while watching Seinfeld reruns)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chronstoppable
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2014
🚨︎ report
I work at a door factory. I will be leaving employment there on Tuesday. I need them to "love me" I need puns stat!

Sorry, but all I have is, I need ADOORable puns.

Thank you guys, keep it coming!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ldr_Jag_Man
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2016
🚨︎ report
(Monday: Greg) (Tuesday: Ian) (Wednesday: Greg) (Thursday: Ian) (Friday: Greg) (Saturday: Ian) (Sunday: Greg)

Its the Gregorian calendar

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OrionHunter66
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday

Those were the days

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Little_Mog
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

Oh.... those were the days....

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bbtehbuild
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday

Those were the days...

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Auralore
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2016
🚨︎ report
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

Ah. Those were the days....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2018
🚨︎ report

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