Why do I always feel great on Saturdays and Sundays, and sick on all the other days ?
Maybe I just have a weekend immune system..
ποΈ 265
π
οΈ May 29 2021
Iβve been good. No ice cream on Thursday. None on Friday. None on Saturday.
ποΈ 140
π
οΈ Apr 30 2021
I wanted to go rock-climbing on Saturday but my best friend hated the idea.
He made the whole day very anti- climb- atic.
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ May 24 2021
Saturday and Sunday used to be such strong daysβ¦
But then they were weekend.
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ May 07 2021
Saturday and Sunday are the strongest days...
The rest are just weak days
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Apr 17 2021
Why is Saturday the crappiest day of the week?
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Feb 23 2021
What does priests love doing on Saturday Night?
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Dec 21 2020
Four Seasons Total Lawn Care created some good ones after the bizarre press conference Saturday such as "Lawn and Order" and "Make America Rake Again" - I don't see them using this one on their promotional materials though:
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Nov 09 2020
I lost my watch at a party on Saturday...
An hour later I saw some guy stepping on it while he was harassing some woman at that party. Infuriated, I immediately went over, punched him and broke his nose. No one does that to a woman, not on my watch.
ποΈ 18
π
οΈ Nov 15 2020
(Monday: Greg) (Tuesday: Ian) (Wednesday: Greg) (Thursday: Ian) (Friday: Greg) (Saturday: Ian) (Sunday: Greg)
Its the Gregorian calendar
ποΈ 10k
π
οΈ Apr 04 2019
I went to a drag race last Saturday...
I still can't believe the guy in high heels won.
ποΈ 17
π
οΈ Oct 02 2020
I went to get a haircut on Saturday but the line outside was huge when l got there.
Then the owner came out giving free burgers and hotdogs to everybody there.
It was the best barber queue ever!
ποΈ 21
π
οΈ Aug 31 2020
How often does Halloween fall on a Saturday?
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Oct 29 2020
Friday was roasting saturday and sunday brutally yet they never occurred a word. Wednesday, being a harmonist, asked them why they stayed mum for which they replied, "because we are weakened in front of you guys".
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Aug 14 2020
Scientists have noticed that patients who have the cold feel better on Saturdays and Sundays.
Itβs the weekend immune system.
ποΈ 13
π
οΈ Jul 18 2020
On Saturday, my son confronted me about why I spend time with him on only 1 day of the week, but I spend time with his sister every other day. I told him that I would take him to the movies tomorrow, and he asked if it was 'just because he asked'.
I told him, 'no, because it's Son Day'.
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Jul 29 2020
After my uncle had his arm amputated, he named his nub βSaturday.β
He said it was his weak end.
ποΈ 31
π
οΈ Apr 12 2020
I'm getting fibre installed on Saturday.
It'll be nice to finally have regular internet.
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Apr 22 2020
Why are Saturday and Sunday the strongest days of the week?
Because the rest of the days are weakdays! Iβll see myself out now
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Aug 23 2019
My sister was hired to sew 8 bridesmaid dresses by Saturday. . .
She seamstressed but sheβll get it done. However her skills are only sew sew.
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Oct 14 2019
There is a nudist club meeting on next Saturday.
I might go if I have nothing on.
ποΈ 39
π
οΈ Nov 25 2018
Where do the cows go on a Saturday night?
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ May 21 2019
Saturdays and Sundays are stronger days
Because the rest are week days
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Jun 22 2019
What does John Wick get told on a Saturday night?
ποΈ 7
π
οΈ Jun 05 2019
My boss called me last Saturday and said they were shorthanded and really needed someone to come in...
I replied, "Sounds like a personnel problem to me."
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Mar 22 2019
They grow up so fast. My son lost his first tooth Saturday night.
He got in a fight with the bouncer at a club.
ποΈ 11
π
οΈ Feb 02 2019
what do we call Saturday and Sunday if the week passed quickly?
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Apr 11 2019
I heard a rumor that you lift weights only on Saturday and Sunday because Monday to Friday are weak days.
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Feb 19 2018
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Apr 17 2018
My wife was worried that the fish she bought on Friday weren't swimming together on Saturday
I told her not to worry. Saturday's not a school day.
ποΈ 90
π
οΈ Mar 15 2016
I asked my friend if he needed a condom on Saturday night.
He said he had it covered
ποΈ 26
π
οΈ Feb 28 2017
Why do baseball bats tend to break near the grip on Saturdays and Sundays?
Because it's the weekend.
ποΈ 16
π
οΈ Jun 22 2018
Me, talking to my dad about babysitting my daughter: Great! Weβll drop her at about 10:30 on Saturday.
Dad: Donβt drop her! That might hurt.
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Oct 19 2018
My wife drove ahead of me to the Indian restaurant on Saturday.
She texted me "Hurry up they already, seated me."
I was pissed. Why couldn't she wait?
But then I got there and saw she hadn't started eating yet.
So it was a naan issue.
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Mar 20 2018
Sleepy Saturday morning dad jokes are great
My son woke me up early Saturday to show me a picture heβd drawn of a cross.
Me (half asleep): Awesome job! Looks great.
Son: Thanks! Itβs not just a cross, you know...
Me: Is it also down?
His confusion and delayed groan was music to my ears as I fell back to sleep.
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Apr 24 2018
Did you hear the story about Saturday and Sunday?
It's got a great start but quite a weekend.
ποΈ 21
π
οΈ Aug 03 2017
Patients who recover on Saturdays and Sundays have a weekend immune system.
ποΈ 13
π
οΈ Apr 30 2021
Why do I feel healthy on Saturdays and Sundays, and so sickly for all the other days ?
Maybe, I just have a weekend immune system.
ποΈ 69
π
οΈ Feb 06 2021
Do you know why Saturday and Sunday are considered strong days?
Because the rest are weak days.
ποΈ 15
π
οΈ Oct 26 2020
Why are Saturday and Sunday so strong?
Because the rest of the days are weakdays.
ποΈ 21
π
οΈ Nov 21 2020
Do you know why Saturday and Sunday are considered strong days?
Because the rest are weak days.
ποΈ 14
π
οΈ Oct 26 2020
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday
ποΈ 39
π
οΈ Nov 10 2019
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday
ποΈ 2k
π
οΈ May 10 2016
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
Oh.... those were the days....
ποΈ 19
π
οΈ Apr 07 2019
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
Ah. Those were the days....
ποΈ 131
π
οΈ May 01 2018
Saturday and Sunday are the strongest days
All the other days are just weak-days
ποΈ 18
π
οΈ May 02 2018
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