Why do I always feel great on Saturdays and Sundays, and sick on all the other days ?

Maybe I just have a weekend immune system..

πŸ‘︎ 265
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ May 29
🚨︎ report
I’ve been good. No ice cream on Thursday. None on Friday. None on Saturday.

Then, Sundae.

πŸ‘︎ 140
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/reedandsue
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
🚨︎ report
I wanted to go rock-climbing on Saturday but my best friend hated the idea.

He made the whole day very anti- climb- atic.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bbew_Mot
πŸ“…︎ May 24
🚨︎ report
Saturday and Sunday used to be such strong days…

But then they were weekend.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
Saturday and Sunday are the strongest days...

The rest are just weak days

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinnber
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
🚨︎ report
Why is Saturday the crappiest day of the week?

It has a turd in it.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
🚨︎ report
What does priests love doing on Saturday Night?

Netflix and Child

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hakaishin1999
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Four Seasons Total Lawn Care created some good ones after the bizarre press conference Saturday such as "Lawn and Order" and "Make America Rake Again" - I don't see them using this one on their promotional materials though:
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danarchist
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I lost my watch at a party on Saturday...

An hour later I saw some guy stepping on it while he was harassing some woman at that party. Infuriated, I immediately went over, punched him and broke his nose. No one does that to a woman, not on my watch.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_NotSlimShady
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
(Monday: Greg) (Tuesday: Ian) (Wednesday: Greg) (Thursday: Ian) (Friday: Greg) (Saturday: Ian) (Sunday: Greg)

Its the Gregorian calendar

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OrionHunter66
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to a drag race last Saturday...

I still can't believe the guy in high heels won.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to get a haircut on Saturday but the line outside was huge when l got there.

Then the owner came out giving free burgers and hotdogs to everybody there.

It was the best barber queue ever!

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
How often does Halloween fall on a Saturday?

Once in a blue moon.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sumedocin23
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Friday was roasting saturday and sunday brutally yet they never occurred a word. Wednesday, being a harmonist, asked them why they stayed mum for which they replied, "because we are weakened in front of you guys".

I was dazed.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kaylicious17
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Scientists have noticed that patients who have the cold feel better on Saturdays and Sundays.

It’s the weekend immune system.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
On Saturday, my son confronted me about why I spend time with him on only 1 day of the week, but I spend time with his sister every other day. I told him that I would take him to the movies tomorrow, and he asked if it was 'just because he asked'.

I told him, 'no, because it's Son Day'.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
After my uncle had his arm amputated, he named his nub β€œSaturday.”

He said it was his weak end.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm getting fibre installed on Saturday.

It'll be nice to finally have regular internet.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gilbertsmith
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are Saturday and Sunday the strongest days of the week?

Because the rest of the days are weakdays! I’ll see myself out now

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/legendsnvrshave
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My sister was hired to sew 8 bridesmaid dresses by Saturday. . .

She seamstressed but she’ll get it done. However her skills are only sew sew.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
🚨︎ report
There is a nudist club meeting on next Saturday.

I might go if I have nothing on.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/grendel123
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Where do the cows go on a Saturday night?

To the mooooovies!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iLccc
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Saturdays and Sundays are stronger days

Because the rest are week days

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rotimi_babalola
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What does John Wick get told on a Saturday night?

Wick's almost over :/

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Redpiki
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report
My boss called me last Saturday and said they were shorthanded and really needed someone to come in...

I replied, "Sounds like a personnel problem to me."

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lunchbockslarry
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
🚨︎ report
They grow up so fast. My son lost his first tooth Saturday night.

He got in a fight with the bouncer at a club.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
🚨︎ report
what do we call Saturday and Sunday if the week passed quickly?

a weeee-kend

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/esma3ell
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I heard a rumor that you lift weights only on Saturday and Sunday because Monday to Friday are weak days.
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Saturday Knight Live youtu.be/JknV0OfFp6E
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Knightovids
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife was worried that the fish she bought on Friday weren't swimming together on Saturday

I told her not to worry. Saturday's not a school day.

πŸ‘︎ 90
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ACMEanvils
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2016
🚨︎ report
I asked my friend if he needed a condom on Saturday night.

He said he had it covered

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/andrewcordray
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2017
🚨︎ report
Why do baseball bats tend to break near the grip on Saturdays and Sundays?

Because it's the weekend.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSygil
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Me, talking to my dad about babysitting my daughter: Great! We’ll drop her at about 10:30 on Saturday.

Dad: Don’t drop her! That might hurt.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kcl086
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife drove ahead of me to the Indian restaurant on Saturday.

She texted me "Hurry up they already, seated me."

I was pissed. Why couldn't she wait?

But then I got there and saw she hadn't started eating yet.

So it was a naan issue.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Abraheezee
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Sleepy Saturday morning dad jokes are great

My son woke me up early Saturday to show me a picture he’d drawn of a cross.

Me (half asleep): Awesome job! Looks great.

Son: Thanks! It’s not just a cross, you know...

Me: Is it also down?

His confusion and delayed groan was music to my ears as I fell back to sleep.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HalleckG65
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the story about Saturday and Sunday?

It's got a great start but quite a weekend.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/itsokaytofeelgood
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2017
🚨︎ report
Patients who recover on Saturdays and Sundays have a weekend immune system.
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pathrado
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
🚨︎ report
Why do I feel healthy on Saturdays and Sundays, and so sickly for all the other days ?

Maybe, I just have a weekend immune system.

πŸ‘︎ 69
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06
🚨︎ report
Do you know why Saturday and Sunday are considered strong days?

Because the rest are weak days.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/araitisaname
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are Saturday and Sunday so strong?

Because the rest of the days are weakdays.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know why Saturday and Sunday are considered strong days?

Because the rest are weak days.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/araitisaname
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday

Those were the days

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Little_Mog
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday

Those were the days...

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Auralore
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2016
🚨︎ report
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

Oh.... those were the days....

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bbtehbuild
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

Ah. Those were the days....

πŸ‘︎ 131
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Saturday and Sunday are the strongest days

All the other days are just weak-days

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shurgery
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2018
🚨︎ report

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