Did you know that daytime weighs less than nighttime?

It's a scientific fact it's lighter.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ‘€︎ u/Semujin
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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Curtains might argue during the daytime.

But they always come together at night.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2018
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What does Nitrogen become in the daytime?


πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/legend434
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2018
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Damn it, Dad... No more daytime courtroom shows for you.

What do they call lawyer's underwear? Legal briefs!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/ADHd20
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2014
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I'm doing a painting of Paris at night.

Might be quicker if I do it in the daytime too.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
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Hey Dad, what time is it?

Well, judging by the position of the sun and the angle of the shadows, I'd say it's....daytime.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_PoodlePants
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
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Dad joked(?) the old guy at work this morning

I do maintenance on overnights at a department store. We're able to get away with quite a lot of joking around thankfully so it really isn't all that bad

Anyways, it's about 6 or 6:30 in the morning. The daytime employees are just making their way in for the day. Suddenly, I'm paged over the system by the old guy I work with on maintenance

"MetalHeadCrow, where are you?"

I love working with the old guy. He's a great worker and we really get along good. So, I run to the nearest phone, pick it up, and page for the whole store to hear:

"I'm right here, where are you?"

I was happy with myself

EDIT: I'm using my iPod to post so not sure how this will look. Also added a few words

πŸ‘︎ 802
πŸ‘€︎ u/MetalHeadCrow
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2015
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Nephew reversed a knock knock joke earlier today

Me: Knock, knock?

Nephew: Who's there?

Me: Owl

Nephew: Owl, what are you doing awake? It's daytime!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/illwon
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2017
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Had a string of great dad jokes in the bar the other night.

Quick backstory: there is a bar in my town that all new alumni of the town's university sign upon graduation. My friends and I were in their celebrating a 21st birthday on Saturday and I just graduated. The bar is a restaurant in the daytime and they have great sundaes.

My friend asked the bartender for a sharpie so I could sign the ceiling. The bartender didn't have one and this was our exchange:

Me: "Ah let's come in tomorrow and get sundaes and I'll sign the ceiling."

Friend: "Sounds good to me."

Me: "It could be a sundate."

Friend: "Really...."

Me: "Convenient on Sunday!"

Friend: "Jokes on you it's going to be really cloudy!"

Me: "So then it's just clou-day."

Friend: "Get out." (Turns back to me while cringing)

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ‘€︎ u/4ureli
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2015
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Everyday that he asks me

Son: "dad what time is it?"

Me: looks up "daytime"

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ‘€︎ u/MikeyDust
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2014
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