I’m trying to create a suspenseful astrology joke.

Watch this space.....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tubbynezbit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
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So I went to my local astrology group and was asked to take roll call. And wouldn’t you know it?

All the signs were there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChuckinTheCarma
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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ASTROLOGY.... Because millions of stars and planets have spent billions of years lining themselves up....

....just to let her know, that "she'll meet someone with nice eyes today."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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What does a radioactive lab say when their astrology is bad?

Marie-Curie is in retrograde

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πŸ‘€︎ u/plout0n
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
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Astrology really Pisces me off.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cardboardshrimp
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
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I thank my lucky stars that astrology isn't real.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2017
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What's a donut's astrological sign?

Torus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chirstain
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2021
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4 Norse gods, 1 roman God, and 2 astrological bodies walk into a bar

The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Outi94
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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Why is North Korea so evil?

Because they have no Seoul.

Edit: Thanks for the support and for my first award everyone! I can’t take credit for the joke itself as a friend who passed a number of years made it up in high school, but I’m sure he’d be ecstatic to see the number of updoots and laughter it’s brought.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fourchubio
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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My aunt's astrological sign was cancer, funny to consider how she died

She was killed by a giant crab

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xxbiggeorge69xx
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
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I recently entered a competition sponsored by the Astrological society.

I didn't come first, but I did win the constellation prize.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stw303
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. ..

After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes," replies Watson.

"And what do you deduce from that?"

Watson ponders for a minute.

"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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