I said, "He's in the Galley, Leo."
I swear, that guy struts around like all the planets revolve around him.
'Hey now, Dad, don't hate on DiCaprio. He's a saint, and has never won an Oscar despite his many Oscar-worthy roles." "I think only the Food Network can determine that. " "The Food Network?" "Yeah. What kind of rolls are you talking about?"
The judge asks, “First offender?” The wife replies, “No, first a Gibson, then a Fender.”
He replies with “I’m Leo”. 10/10
Aries: Yes Taurus: Yes Gemini: Yes Cancer: Yes Leo: No Virgo: Yes Libra: Yes Scorpio: Yes Sagittarius: Yes Capricorn: Yes Aries: Yes Pieces: Yes
Cat always gets in bed with us at night. Walks and purrs and paws at us. Last night he jumped up on the bed, walked onto my chest and I immediately said, "Leo, do you knead something?" ...and he did
So, my grandfather by the name of Leonard might lose his foot soon, due to diabetes/infection. Not at all hilarious, sure, but me and him have an awesome sense of humor. He lost his toe a few weeks back and I asked him if they placed it in a jar. He said, "No, they made it into stew."
My mother was less than pleased with our toe jokes but that was not the groaning moment.
A series of texts about my grandfather losing the entire foot ensues between my uncles, mom, sister and I. It went like this:
Me: If gramps loses his foot, in the worst case of scenarios, how would I go around asking the OR to put it in a jar? (directed to my sister who's a nurse)
Mom: OMG. Bad.
Sister: Ew. Lol.
Me: Oh man, if in forty years I'm ever at a family reunion all drunk, I'd be doing that. "Come my niece/nephew/grandchild! Speak of all your woes to the foot!"
Mom: STOP! Bad Grandchild!
Sister: You need a nap.
Me: I'd put the foot in an estate so that... keep reading on reddit ➡
I'm watching the Oscars tonight, and after seeing Leo's performance, my mom said he had a 40s look to him, and I said "that's probably why he played such a Great Gatsby"