When life gives you lemons, make lemonade
When lemons give you life, you probably have scurvy. (Courtesy of my own father)
I was hoping my friend would catch the can of lemon lime soda that I tossed her.
But unfortunately, Sierra Mist.
Why didn't the lemon juice like the soap?
Why did the baker throw in a dozen lemons to his bread mix?
He wanted to make sour dough.
What did Homer Simpson say when he tried a slice of it?
This is sour, doh!
Source: Bread Jokes
When life gives you lemons,
Squirt someone in the eye.
When life sends you a lemon, squeeze the day.
How do you make a lemon orgasm?
I used to like lemons a lot.
Walking down the road last night, I passed an apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake.
I thought "the streets are strangely desserted tonight."
My wife asked me to pick up a single lemon at the grocery store
But I have no idea how to tell if a lemon is in a relationship or not
What do you get when ask a lemon for help?
You had to use rennet to curdle the milk for making Ricotta, not lemon juice!
This is not the right whey.
Every December, I really like making an emulsion of egg yolks, melted butter and lemon juice.
So its guaranteed to be a Happy Hollandaise
A very young lemon strolled into an underground metro station, buying and enjoying a coffee, chatting with other fruits and eventually riding on a nice, modern train.
One could say it was a sub-lime experience.
when life gives you lemons, make puns!
I was watching an Australian show and the audience applauded when the host made a lemon meringue.
I was confused because I thought Australians usually boo meringue.
When life gives you lemons
Sit there and wonder who life is and why they threw a lemon at you
I replaced the milk in the milk carton with lemon juice
They were really sour about it
A boy loves eating his bread with lemon squirted on top
One day, his dad comes across him eating like this and says, "That do be sourdough"
What do you call it when someone helps a lemon?
When life give you lemons...
Find someone whose life gave them vodka, then have a party
Do you like lemons?
Because I think they are sublime.
What kind of lemon performs charity work?
I was asked why I love to clean lemon juice from windows, to which I replied
“It’s easy peasy lemon squeegee”
Three fruits decided to have a dragrace match. The Lemon prepared by practcing driving skills, the orange by studying the appropriate tecniques, the grape by relaxing in the sun. Who won?
The grape. He was the only one who went raisin.
It’s hard to make lemonade out of lemons when the world is going bananas.
So I made banana bread instead.
What did the lemon juice say to the baking soda?
I had sex whit a lemon once. Now I have lemonaids.
What do you give a sick lemon?
What did the flirty lemon say to the tangerine?
I crashed my bike into a lemon tree last week
It's left me feeling bitter and twisted
What do you have if you 4 apples and 2 oranges in one hand and 3 lemons and a grapefruit in the other hand?
When life gives terrorists lemons
Once there was a man who owned an orchard. He grew lots of things. Apples, pears, cherries, peaches, oranges and lemons.
The stonefruit was almost ready for harvest when he was hit with a bout of laryngitis that left him unable to talk.
Despite the doctors orders for bed rest, he went into the orchard early one morning to find all of his mature peach trees had been stolen.
He was peachless."
What does a lemon pie and my wife have in common?
They both have meringue on them.
I tried zesting a lemon for my recipe, but I cut too deep...
Walking home last night, I passed a slice of apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake.
I thought to myself, “The streets seem strangely desserted…”
When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade.
When life gives you HIV, you make Live Aid.
What do you give a sick lemon?
What do you give a sick lemon?
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