Lemon puns!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elite__yeet
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
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When life gives you lemons, make lemonade

When lemons give you life, you probably have scurvy. (Courtesy of my own father)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mahojo12
πŸ“…︎ May 09
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I was hoping my friend would catch the can of lemon lime soda that I tossed her.

But unfortunately, Sierra Mist.

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πŸ“…︎ May 28
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Why didn't the lemon juice like the soap?

because he was basic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/giggizard
πŸ“…︎ May 27
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Why did the baker throw in a dozen lemons to his bread mix?

He wanted to make sour dough.

What did Homer Simpson say when he tried a slice of it?

This is sour, doh!

Source: Bread Jokes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bmantis311
πŸ“…︎ May 31
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When life gives you lemons,

Squirt someone in the eye.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 02
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When life sends you a lemon, squeeze the day.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CatsCreepMeowt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
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How do you make a lemon orgasm?

By tickling it's citrus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
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I used to like lemons a lot.

Then I soured on them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10
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Walking down the road last night, I passed an apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake.

I thought "the streets are strangely desserted tonight."

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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My wife asked me to pick up a single lemon at the grocery store

But I have no idea how to tell if a lemon is in a relationship or not

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πŸ‘€︎ u/faceoftheancients
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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What do you get when ask a lemon for help?

Lemon-aid

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevthesalty
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
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You had to use rennet to curdle the milk for making Ricotta, not lemon juice!

This is not the right whey.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
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Every December, I really like making an emulsion of egg yolks, melted butter and lemon juice.

So its guaranteed to be a Happy Hollandaise

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ajellysandwich
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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John Lemon
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πŸ‘€︎ u/femmika
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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A very young lemon strolled into an underground metro station, buying and enjoying a coffee, chatting with other fruits and eventually riding on a nice, modern train.

One could say it was a sub-lime experience.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThePokemasterYT
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
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Lemon-ade
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CyanCharizard
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
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when life gives you lemons, make puns!
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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I was watching an Australian show and the audience applauded when the host made a lemon meringue.

I was confused because I thought Australians usually boo meringue.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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When life gives you lemons

Sit there and wonder who life is and why they threw a lemon at you

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
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I replaced the milk in the milk carton with lemon juice

They were really sour about it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Angoram
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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A boy loves eating his bread with lemon squirted on top

One day, his dad comes across him eating like this and says, "That do be sourdough"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/InfiniteProximity
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
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What do you call it when someone helps a lemon?

Lemon-aid

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scotty_Hassett
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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When life give you lemons...

Find someone whose life gave them vodka, then have a party

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fuckleberyfinn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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Do you like lemons?

Because I think they are sublime.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/omegace21_
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
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What kind of lemon performs charity work?

Lemon aid.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrTomatoHead
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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I was asked why I love to clean lemon juice from windows, to which I replied

β€œIt’s easy peasy lemon squeegee”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mustacius
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
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Three fruits decided to have a dragrace match. The Lemon prepared by practcing driving skills, the orange by studying the appropriate tecniques, the grape by relaxing in the sun. Who won?

The grape. He was the only one who went raisin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/midy-dk
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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It’s hard to make lemonade out of lemons when the world is going bananas.

So I made banana bread instead.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/malker84
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
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What did the lemon juice say to the baking soda?

Ya basic!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jspittman
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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I had sex whit a lemon once. Now I have lemonaids.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MacChickenNugget
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
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What do you give a sick lemon?

Lemonaid.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the flirty lemon say to the tangerine?

You're so appealing!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/techtornado
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I crashed my bike into a lemon tree last week

It's left me feeling bitter and twisted

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snakesinfur
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you have if you 4 apples and 2 oranges in one hand and 3 lemons and a grapefruit in the other hand?

Large hands

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrooksWasHere1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
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When life gives terrorists lemons
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
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Once there was a man who owned an orchard. He grew lots of things. Apples, pears, cherries, peaches, oranges and lemons.

The stonefruit was almost ready for harvest when he was hit with a bout of laryngitis that left him unable to talk. Despite the doctors orders for bed rest, he went into the orchard early one morning to find all of his mature peach trees had been stolen. He was peachless."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KatWayward
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
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What does a lemon pie and my wife have in common?

They both have meringue on them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lizard_Breakfast
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
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I tried zesting a lemon for my recipe, but I cut too deep...

Pithy, really.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2020
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Lemons
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scott_w04
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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It’s a lemon shark
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Superkyle14
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Walking home last night, I passed a slice of apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake.

I thought to myself, β€œThe streets seem strangely desserted…”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Retgits
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade.

When life gives you HIV, you make Live Aid.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/666bro
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you give a sick lemon?

Lemonaid.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you give a sick lemon?

Lemonaid.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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