A storefront that boasts a fruit pun, just peachy.
πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TreSixtyFlip
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I do love me some fruit puns

https://preview.redd.it/e3gbq2lopxr11.png?width=514&format=png&auto=webp&s=4a831652c3ee2a9018744b74a343b9bbbacf62c2

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Iamneverfunny
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2018
🚨︎ report
Fruit puns intended

Does he avacado? Because If not you should let that mango

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jamesduffton
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Co-Worker and I were bored at work this morning, we wrote this. We work for a fruit store.

NASHI here Scott, we don't need your PERSIMMON to PRODUCE puns. I ain't LIME-ing, fruit puns are hard. It's a GRAPE skill to have and not at all CORNy. If BANANA (you wanna) challenge us; that can be ORANGEd, however you SHALLOT be prePEARed for us. I can GUAVAntee we will not deal with you GINGERly; if you push, APPLE; (I pull) It's not like i'm speaking LEBANESE, CUCUMBERstand?

I myself am full of puns from my head TOMATOES, as you can KIWI (See, we) have been doing this longer than you, we never skip a BEET, our abilities just climb higher PAPAYA (and higher)?.

We don't CARROT all if you're upset by this, in fact it's about THYME we asked your mother on a DATE. So don't be a DILL, we've BEAN there and done that before. So be ready to LETTUCE give you something to cry about throws onion

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iCappa
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2014
🚨︎ report
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes...

You need to let that mango.

πŸ‘︎ 16k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/__teju
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend started an all fruit diet yesterday, the house is FULL of the stuff.

ItsΒ enoughΒ toΒ makeΒ aΒ mangoΒ crazy!

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/runew0lf
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05
🚨︎ report
What's the worst type of fruit to bring to a wedding?

Cantelope

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hjinksop
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04
🚨︎ report
What’s so bad about fruit being made in factories?

They’re mass pro-duced

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/2019inchnails
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05
🚨︎ report
My grandmother bought some curved yellow fruit and a French pineapple.

Now nana has a banana and an ananas.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SleepWouldBeNice
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05
🚨︎ report
Scientists published a paper on grapes, consciousness and fruit rights.

It is basically all about raisin awareness.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lum1nar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12
🚨︎ report
I refuse to vote for anyone in the dried fruit competition.

There aren't any good candied-dates.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ApologeticKid
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15
🚨︎ report
What tree has fruits of all shapes and sizes

The geometree

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/agfwouldbecool
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27
🚨︎ report
One fruit asked another fruit to get married in secret

The other fruit responded: β€œI’m sorry, I cantaloupe.”

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/polar_chimp
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you mix a Jewish family with fruit?

Apple Jews (Please don’t take this offensively I’m a dumb 12 year old)

πŸ‘︎ 106
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/A_Inoocent_Potato
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13
🚨︎ report
I went to buy some fruit today but the store was mobbed with protesters.

I went bananas.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ElsonDaSushiChef
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
🚨︎ report
Three fruits decided to have a dragrace match. The Lemon prepared by practcing driving skills, the orange by studying the appropriate tecniques, the grape by relaxing in the sun. Who won?

The grape. He was the only one who went raisin.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/midy-dk
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24
🚨︎ report
My friend traded an old jalopy for a citrus fruit...

It was a lemon.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16
🚨︎ report
Fruit on Fruit Violence.
πŸ‘︎ 233
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rvagoonerjc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19
🚨︎ report
My 4 year old daughter’s first dad joke...Why did the dinosaur eat vegetables and fruit?

Because he didn’t like sour mice.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/envengpe
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
🚨︎ report
What does a pear tree do before growing it's fruit?

It pre-pears

πŸ‘︎ 109
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lowlz13
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30
🚨︎ report
What do you call two fruits that had to cancel their shotgun wedding?

Cantaloupe

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAnkleDangler
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13
🚨︎ report
They are discussing bringing in fruit to use against the protesters!

Next wave of enforcement will be Apricops

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChaosBadger777
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
It’s so magical when you run out of fruit.

The possibilities are lemonless!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/morsodo99
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12
🚨︎ report
Why does fruit not like preserving ?

The process is jarring

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 08
🚨︎ report
What happens when citrus fruits work overtime?

They get lime and a half...

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/techtornado
πŸ“…︎ May 27
🚨︎ report
Bon Jovi has lost his mind and relocated from his house to a fruit.

He's living on a pear...

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26
🚨︎ report
How many birds can use their huge beak to peel fruit?

Toucan

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Octopus-Pawn
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
🚨︎ report
Guess what fruit hit me in the back.

It was a spineapple

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrZxAlan
πŸ“…︎ May 05
🚨︎ report
What fruit likes to go down slides?

Ki-Wheeee

πŸ‘︎ 76
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ScotchHarbour
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25
🚨︎ report
I spent all day preserving the fruit of my garden. You could say it was a jam packed day.
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnny_Creditcard
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25
🚨︎ report
What type of fruit is not allowed to get married?

Cantaloupe...

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ May 02
🚨︎ report
What happened to the fruit that got really sick?

It pearished.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rise_and_whine
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30
🚨︎ report
Why was everyone shocked when the fruit fly's girlfriend agreed to marry him?

Because the pair had only ever been on rotten dates.

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Y2KoNo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04
🚨︎ report
Which is the silliest of all fruits?

It’s BANANAS

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11
🚨︎ report
What does a fruit say when it's about to do a bank heist?

Everyone on the ground! It's a strawberry1

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/void206551
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01
🚨︎ report
Did you know that Beethoven's favorite fruit

Was Ba Na Na Naaa

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fingadod
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21
🚨︎ report
Melons are the loneliest of all the fruits...

they cantaloupe

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
🚨︎ report
What is Beethoven’s favorite fruit?

A ba-na-na-naaaa.

πŸ‘︎ 168
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shieldvortex17
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend showed me his plan to get and drink a frozen carbonated beverage available in fruit and soda flavors.

"Icee!" I exclaimed exuberantly.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06
🚨︎ report
How did the citrus fruit do on the golf course?

He hit an orange slice!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
🚨︎ report
Dad passes daughter a fruit tray

dad: Pear with fig make a great pair *wink wink*

daughter: go figure

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TinkererJim
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about Tom, the guy who lost two of his toes in an accident with red acidic fruit?

They call him Tom eight toes

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDoge55545
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12
🚨︎ report
My buddy gets all the girls. I watched him work once. He approached a lady and said, "girl, you remind me of a thick, creamy beverage made from raw fruit, vegetables, and sometimes dairy products, typically pureed using a blender!"

He's such a smoothie talker.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03
🚨︎ report
A farmer complained that he didn't have enough fruit to make a living

I told him he needs to grow a pear

πŸ‘︎ 63
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/emu404
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the man say to the fruit chews?

Hi chews!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DaffynitionMaker
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16
🚨︎ report
Did you know dried fruits favorite news segments is...

Current events

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stax3745
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03
🚨︎ report
My dad wanted me to become a fruit farmer like him but I always told him I was scared to do it.

So he told me to grow a pear.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FilthySef
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Tropical fruits give me so much energy...

Guess you could say they make a man-go!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/teameffortt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
🚨︎ report
β€ͺMy friend exports the lilikoi fruit...

β€ͺHe says it’s his passion‬

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07
🚨︎ report
My wife was reducing some fruit, sugar and water for me one day...

My wife was reducing some fruit, sugar and water for me one day when she started banging the spoon on the edge of the pot.

I said "That's my jam!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ElvisLives231
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30
🚨︎ report
My bag of fruit snacks had all grapes

Today’s gonna be a grape day!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mememidas
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11
🚨︎ report
What do you call 2 fruits who are in love ?

A pear

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BogdanAnime
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07
🚨︎ report
I saw a fruit running from the police recently

It was a water felon

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Escalade1414
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m really not big on fruit.

But I find bananas appealing.

I’m sorry =|

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SamWize-Ganji
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12
🚨︎ report
What’s a calendars favorite fruit?

dates

πŸ‘︎ 63
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tobyfry14
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana /r/Showerthoughts/comment…
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zdaga9999
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What do citrus fruits use to get dates?

Pickup limes.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mama_Bear15
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
🚨︎ report
What's grandma's favorite fruit?

a Ba-nana

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
🚨︎ report
A student at prom was thirsty for some fruit punch, so he asked his friend, "where's the punch line?"
πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Seb_04
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Time flies like the wind and fruit flies like bananas.
πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_tsirhC
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Apparently there's a fruit that is naturally radioactive.

I think that's bananas!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EverydayMeeple
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Q: What's a vampire's favorite fruit?

A: A neck-tarine.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ralph-Hinkley
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I threw a party when I got a job in genetics and of course, served a chewy fruit dish with a charcoal flavor...

The guests seemed to like my carbon dates.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
I got fruit preserves on my finger.

Doctor said it was jammed

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FeedbackUSA
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Looking at some fake fruit on the table, my dad said, β€œoh no!”
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thebluebox3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the fruit have a big wedding?

Cantaloupe

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Chewphoria78
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you photocopy fruit?

Paper jam

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dasvott
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the suckiest fruit?

A strawberry.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dasvott
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the piece of fruit that left its wallet at a George Michael concert in Zurich?

It was a Careless Swiss Pear.

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/toucantwist
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the national fruit of Afghanistan?

Talibanana

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sybkeuhx
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Be careful! Theres a deadly fruit on the loose

He has 7 charges of armed Strobbery

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/masesarkidd
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
It looks like a fruit Pokemon
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RedLeader11037
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?

Strawberries

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s the only fruit that never gets lonely?

A pear.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/unsaneasylum
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Me: Know what Thanos says when he finds a rotten fruit in his garden? My kids: Ugh.

"It is... Inedible"

πŸ‘︎ 105
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fubarfrank
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Fruit romance

Honey dew you love me?

I love you berry much

I think we are a good pear.

Ohh berry sweet! Grape puns!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/daunfifi123c456b
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife just started an all-fruit diet.

There was enough food to make a mango crazy.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What is Elon's favourite fruit?

Musk mElon

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRealRoybot
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are oranges the smartest fruit?

Because they are made to concentrate.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
A new study is showing surprising advances in primate evolution: Dr. Thomas Ink, a researcher in southern Africa has found certain groups of apes 'brewing' alcohol by leaving old fruit to stand in water pools then drinking from it and becoming inebriated.

Dr. Ink has dubbed these 'Monkey Bars'.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pparten
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What's a bale of hay's favourite fruit?

A straw-berry

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EternalMotivation
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
The national news did a story on my friend's bumper crop of green citrus fruits...

He loves being in the limelight.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm gonna just take the low hanging fruit
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drhbball14
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Haha, fruit jokes
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cyber-HeroRD
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A blood orange.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
If he doesn't appreciate your fruit jokes

You need to let that mango

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 15
🚨︎ report
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes...

...you need to let that mango.

πŸ‘︎ 871
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SyncingShiip
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes...

...you need to let that mango

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrNakamura
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
🚨︎ report

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