Banana puns

They’re very a’peeling.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/daugarten
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2018
🚨︎ report
I told my daughter, "Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?" She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered. "It’s true!"

"When was the last time you ate a monkey?!"

πŸ‘︎ 17k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
So, I read a study the other day claiming that "humans eat more bananas than monkeys".

Which - to me - sounded a bit obvious. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yupitsnoone
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
🚨︎ report
If A is for Apple and B is for Banana, what is C for?

Plastic explosives.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nebulas-Entity
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Today I learnt that humans eat more bananas than monkeys

I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
🚨︎ report
A man is buying a banana, an apple, and two eggs. The female cashier says: β€œYou must be single.” The man answers: β€œWow, how did you know that?”

Cashier: β€œBecause you’re ugly.”

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bringojackprot
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Since this is a β€œNana” tree (common name for Juniperus Procumens Green Mountain Juniper bonsai), it was suggested I have a β€œba”. Therefore, since the stock ticker for Boeing is BA, I bought a toy 787. That means there is now a β€œbanana” on the counter.
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LaceyGayGuy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Banana Bread
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dedpeepl
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know people eat more bananas than monkeys?

I mean, when is the last time you ate a monkey?

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Young-Grandpa
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Farmer A sells apples, Farmer B sells bananas, what does Farmer C sell?

Medications

πŸ‘︎ 70
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubeykeebler
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?

A slipper

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lvrcerosis
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because it wasn't peeling very well

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jezzter88
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Can i tell a banana joke?

nevermind it just 'slipped' my mind

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PotatoArtist69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

In 2015 we ate over 74 million bananas and only 6 monkeys.

πŸ‘︎ 206
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NameTheTrait
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
i wanna make jokes about banana...

but i don't see the appeel

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nmt73441
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend got mad at the amount of bananas I bought

I don't understand why, she asked for a bunch.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notathrowaway2937
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
A woman checks out of target with two apples, a banana, and a quart of ice cream. The cashier asks, β€œAre you single?” The woman replies, β€œYes, how could you tell?”

β€œBecause you’re ugly.”

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/some-ginger-dude
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of key opens a banana?

A mon-key.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cognimaniac
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who ate bananas whole?

He didn’t peel too well

πŸ‘︎ 66
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zura1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
If A is for "Apple", B is for "Banana", then what is C four?

Explosives

πŸ‘︎ 326
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/steveb106
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the banana that was a prosecutor?

He won the conviction, but slipped up on appeal.

πŸ‘︎ 109
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ivegot_back
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the banana say to the vibrator..?

Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/h_cordeiro8
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend was confused when he saw me walking around with bananas on my feet.

I told him they were my slippers.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Orange you glad I didn’t say banana.
πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thenotoriouswtf
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the apple stop looking for his banana friend?

It was a fruit-less search

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Benams5211
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
🚨︎ report
2 bananas shopping in Walmart; first banana says β€˜I dare you to shoplift that ham’

Second banana says β€˜no way, I’m not doing that!’ First banana says β€˜why? You yellow?’

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bigpapastu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I can’t see why everyone likes bananas

I just don’t see the a-peal

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shogun012
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Q: What key do you use when opening a banana?

A: A monkey!

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nuk3st
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend says to me "What rhymes with banana?"

And I told him "No it doesn't"

πŸ‘︎ 71
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dani_SF
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Some girl just tried to chat me up by telling me how much potassium, on average, is in a banana.

I just sat there like, K.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/paramedork
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend walked upstairs, stepped on a banana peel, and fell on his bed

He went to slip

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cubelith
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Tried taking a picture of my hamster in his banana hammock but he jumped out before I could take it

He did a banana split

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/itsaustinjones
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I like naked bananas

They are very appealing to me.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a divorce but for bananas?

Banana split

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrP4nc4k35
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Bananas over Mommy
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ncsuandrew12
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Why should you never tell banana jokes?

Because they're all bent

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tungur_Knivur2020
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
🚨︎ report
These carbs are bananas bro
πŸ‘︎ 98
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/satire_scull
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Today I found out that humans eat more bananas than monkeys

This surprised me, as I don't recall the last time I ate a monkey

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Faiz_Clan
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
🚨︎ report
It’s hard to make lemonade out of lemons when the world is going bananas.

So I made banana bread instead.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/malker84
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
🚨︎ report
A grocery store caught a girl stealing bananas.

They had no choice but to ban Anna.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wayj99
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What did one banana ask the sad banana?

What's the nanner?

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/azatarain
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Banana for dessert
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kettumc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I can’t stop eating bananas!

They’re so a-peeling!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Konamicoder
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Today I learned that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.....

And I gotta say that's true because I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey

EDIT: Thanks kind stranger for the gold!!

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HVIIDPOWER
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call two bananas on the floor?

A pair of slippers.

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Banana bread
πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cbem2016
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
🚨︎ report
My safe word is β€œbanana”.

Afterward, I say, β€œOrange you glad I didn’t say banana?”.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nonficshawn
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Bananas produce enough radiation to set off sensitive geiger counters.

That would mean a banana tree is a nuclear plant.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFailureKing
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I caught my son rubbing banana peels all over him. At first, I was worried. Then I realized it.

He was going to be all ripe.

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/weirdafbird
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I like bananas.

They have a peel.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shopcounterwill
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do bananas make such great lawyers?

Because they always make such strong appeals.

(Came up with this this morning while cutting my 6mo's frozen banana up and watching the news about the impeachment trials. I'm pretty proud of it, though I may be mixing up my legal terms)

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KnoobLord
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana /r/Showerthoughts/comment…
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zdaga9999
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
That's bananas

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thewholezoo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a banana with multiple personality disorder?

Bananas

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boboknowsall
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I felt like a bad banana this morning.

I didn't peel well.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThatfamousGuy2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn’t the banana yell high?

It could only yellow.

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Banana Mag
πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StarryKnight83
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Learned the difference between Bananas today

There are 1000 species of banana in the world and the difference between the lighter ones and the darker ones are because the lighter ones lacatan.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rdegannes87
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Today I learned that a human eats bananas more than a monkey.

This is true because I don't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SkyStar1991
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
A hotdog and a banana had a race. Who won?

The weiner.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Bananas make me high

Like pot-i assume

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/unknownamouse
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Time flies like the wind and fruit flies like bananas.
πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_tsirhC
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the banana go to the doctor?

He wasn’t PEELING well.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cheesy-boy12345
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
🚨︎ report
TIL there are 1000 types of bananas

They vary in color a lot. The ones that are lightest in shade are so because they lacatan.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rdegannes87
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
If A is for apples and B is for bananas then what is c for?

Plastic explosives.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/talpa710
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What is invisible and smells like bananas?

Monkey Farts

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?

I don't know of anyone who ate a monkey!!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dweebken
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a banana that's underripe today, but will be good to eat tomorrow?

A baΓ±ana.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/super__stealth
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Poor bananas imgur.com/IvdbeZd
πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/frogGuardian
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the opposite of a Banana Republic

Bananarchy.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JacobDoesStuff
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I really hate banana jokes

They just don’t appeal to me

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Electrick23
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do you learn to make banana splits?

At sundae school.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?

Because they might peel!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I meant to buy bananas at the store today...

But they totally slipped my mind.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Today I learned that humans eat more bananas than monkeys

I can’t even remember the last time I ate a monkey

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What does the banana say when he goes to the doctor?

I'm not peeling well.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iLike-Guns
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What type of key opens a banana?

A monkey

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nuhgettes
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
🚨︎ report
My young son β€œsaid” he made dinner today. He brought me a banana like balloon on a hot dog bun. Confused I said β€œummmm.. thank you .. but...what’s this??”

He said it’s a Halloweenie!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bad11ama
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I once dated a banana but it didn't go so well...

She had a split personality

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/big_macaroons
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm going bananas!

Is what I tell my bananas before I leave the house.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Verga-chu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
If A is for Apple and B is for Banana, then what is C for?

Plastic explosives.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/noblegreed
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a shoe made of a banana?

A slipper

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/abdic8
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
🚨︎ report
If A is for Apple and B is for Banana, what is C for?

Plastic explosives

πŸ‘︎ 142
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/joec0ld
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
🚨︎ report
what do you call a shoe made out of a banana?

a slipper

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yyyandere
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a shoe made from a banana?

A slipper!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?

Because they might peel!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the banana go to the doctor?

It wasn’t peeling well.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MyMomIsAnApricot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?

Because they might peel!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do you learn to make banana splits?

At sundae school.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?

Because they might peel!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana
πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?

Because they might peel!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?

Because they might peel!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report

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