Banana puns
Theyβre very aβpeeling.
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︎ Jun 13 2018
I told my daughter, "Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?" She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered. "Itβs true!"
"When was the last time you ate a monkey?!"
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︎ Jun 26 2020
So, I read a study the other day claiming that "humans eat more bananas than monkeys".
Which - to me - sounded a bit obvious. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
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︎ Aug 01 2020
If A is for Apple and B is for Banana, what is C for?
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︎ Jun 29 2020
Today I learnt that humans eat more bananas than monkeys
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey
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︎ Apr 13 2020
A man is buying a banana, an apple, and two eggs. The female cashier says: βYou must be single.β The man answers: βWow, how did you know that?β
Cashier: βBecause youβre ugly.β
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︎ Jul 27 2020
Since this is a βNanaβ tree (common name for Juniperus Procumens Green Mountain Juniper bonsai), it was suggested I have a βbaβ. Therefore, since the stock ticker for Boeing is BA, I bought a toy 787. That means there is now a βbananaβ on the counter.
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︎ Jul 30 2020
Banana Bread
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︎ Aug 01 2020
Did you know people eat more bananas than monkeys?
I mean, when is the last time you ate a monkey?
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︎ Jul 17 2020
Farmer A sells apples, Farmer B sells bananas, what does Farmer C sell?
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︎ Jun 30 2020
What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?
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︎ Jul 22 2020
Why did the banana go to the hospital?
Because it wasn't peeling very well
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︎ Jul 28 2020
Can i tell a banana joke?
nevermind it just 'slipped' my mind
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︎ Jun 30 2020
Humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
In 2015 we ate over 74 million bananas and only 6 monkeys.
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︎ May 23 2020
i wanna make jokes about banana...
but i don't see the appeel
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︎ Jul 22 2020
My girlfriend got mad at the amount of bananas I bought
I don't understand why, she asked for a bunch.
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︎ Jul 28 2020
A woman checks out of target with two apples, a banana, and a quart of ice cream. The cashier asks, βAre you single?β The woman replies, βYes, how could you tell?β
βBecause youβre ugly.β
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︎ Jul 28 2020
What kind of key opens a banana?
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︎ Jul 18 2020
Did you hear about the guy who ate bananas whole?
He didnβt peel too well
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︎ Jun 11 2020
If A is for "Apple", B is for "Banana", then what is C four?
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︎ Apr 08 2020
Did you hear about the banana that was a prosecutor?
He won the conviction, but slipped up on appeal.
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︎ May 31 2020
What did the banana say to the vibrator..?
Why are you shaking? Sheβs gonna eat me
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︎ Jul 08 2020
My friend was confused when he saw me walking around with bananas on my feet.
I told him they were my slippers.
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︎ Jun 11 2020
Orange you glad I didnβt say banana.
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︎ Apr 19 2020
Why did the apple stop looking for his banana friend?
It was a fruit-less search
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︎ Jun 01 2020
2 bananas shopping in Walmart; first banana says βI dare you to shoplift that hamβ
Second banana says βno way, Iβm not doing that!β
First banana says βwhy? You yellow?β
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︎ Jun 28 2020
I canβt see why everyone likes bananas
I just donβt see the a-peal
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︎ Jun 12 2020
Q: What key do you use when opening a banana?
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︎ May 05 2020
My friend says to me "What rhymes with banana?"
And I told him "No it doesn't"
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︎ Apr 14 2020
Some girl just tried to chat me up by telling me how much potassium, on average, is in a banana.
I just sat there like, K.
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︎ Jun 18 2020
My friend walked upstairs, stepped on a banana peel, and fell on his bed
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︎ May 12 2020
Tried taking a picture of my hamster in his banana hammock but he jumped out before I could take it
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︎ Jun 13 2020
I like naked bananas
They are very appealing to me.
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︎ May 07 2020
What do you call a divorce but for bananas?
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︎ May 13 2020
Bananas over Mommy
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︎ Apr 23 2020
Why should you never tell banana jokes?
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︎ May 10 2020
These carbs are bananas bro
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︎ Feb 11 2020
Today I found out that humans eat more bananas than monkeys
This surprised me, as I don't recall the last time I ate a monkey
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︎ May 03 2020
Itβs hard to make lemonade out of lemons when the world is going bananas.
So I made banana bread instead.
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︎ May 03 2020
A grocery store caught a girl stealing bananas.
They had no choice but to ban Anna.
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︎ Apr 05 2020
What did one banana ask the sad banana?
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︎ Apr 24 2020
Banana for dessert
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︎ Feb 26 2020
I canβt stop eating bananas!
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︎ Apr 01 2020
Today I learned that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.....
And I gotta say that's true because I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey
EDIT: Thanks kind stranger for the gold!!
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︎ Jun 23 2019
What do you call two bananas on the floor?
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︎ Jan 18 2020
Banana bread
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︎ Oct 24 2019
My safe word is βbananaβ.
Afterward, I say, βOrange you glad I didnβt say banana?β.
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︎ Feb 26 2020
Bananas produce enough radiation to set off sensitive geiger counters.
That would mean a banana tree is a nuclear plant.
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︎ Feb 08 2020
I caught my son rubbing banana peels all over him. At first, I was worried. Then I realized it.
He was going to be all ripe.
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︎ Dec 19 2019
I like bananas.
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︎ Feb 24 2020
Why do bananas make such great lawyers?
Because they always make such strong appeals.
(Came up with this this morning while cutting my 6mo's frozen banana up and watching the news about the impeachment trials. I'm pretty proud of it, though I may be mixing up my legal terms)
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︎ Jan 24 2020
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︎ Dec 27 2019
That's bananas
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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︎ Jan 07 2020
What do you call a banana with multiple personality disorder?
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︎ Dec 13 2019
I felt like a bad banana this morning.
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︎ Jan 30 2020
Why couldnβt the banana yell high?
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︎ Dec 29 2019
Banana Mag
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︎ Oct 07 2019
Learned the difference between Bananas today
There are 1000 species of banana in the world and the difference between the lighter ones and the darker ones are because the lighter ones lacatan.
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︎ Nov 25 2019
Today I learned that a human eats bananas more than a monkey.
This is true because I don't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
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︎ Nov 30 2019
A hotdog and a banana had a race. Who won?
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︎ Dec 10 2019
Bananas make me high
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︎ Jan 30 2020
Time flies like the wind and fruit flies like bananas.
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︎ Sep 18 2019
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
He wasnβt PEELING well.
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︎ Sep 23 2019
TIL there are 1000 types of bananas
They vary in color a lot. The ones that are lightest in shade are so because they lacatan.
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︎ Nov 22 2019
If A is for apples and B is for bananas then what is c for?
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︎ Feb 04 2020
What is invisible and smells like bananas?
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︎ Oct 07 2019
Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?
I don't know of anyone who ate a monkey!!
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︎ Dec 10 2019
What do you call a banana that's underripe today, but will be good to eat tomorrow?
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︎ Oct 24 2019
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︎ Jul 10 2019
What's the opposite of a Banana Republic
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︎ Jul 26 2019
I really hate banana jokes
They just donβt appeal to me
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︎ Dec 30 2019
Where do you learn to make banana splits?
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︎ Nov 10 2019
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
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︎ Nov 06 2019
I meant to buy bananas at the store today...
But they totally slipped my mind.
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︎ Oct 12 2019
Today I learned that humans eat more bananas than monkeys
I canβt even remember the last time I ate a monkey
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︎ Oct 21 2019
What does the banana say when he goes to the doctor?
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︎ Aug 20 2019
What type of key opens a banana?
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︎ Oct 27 2019
My young son βsaidβ he made dinner today. He brought me a banana like balloon on a hot dog bun. Confused I said βummmm.. thank you .. but...whatβs this??β
He said itβs a Halloweenie!
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︎ Oct 31 2019
I once dated a banana but it didn't go so well...
She had a split personality
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︎ Aug 07 2019
I'm going bananas!
Is what I tell my bananas before I leave the house.
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︎ Jul 06 2019
If A is for Apple and B is for Banana, then what is C for?
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︎ Feb 04 2020
What do you call a shoe made of a banana?
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︎ Dec 18 2019
If A is for Apple and B is for Banana, what is C for?
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︎ Jun 14 2019
what do you call a shoe made out of a banana?
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︎ Dec 24 2019
What do you call a shoe made from a banana?
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︎ Dec 28 2019
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
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︎ Nov 17 2019
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasnβt peeling well.
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︎ Oct 26 2019
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
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︎ Nov 10 2019
Where do you learn to make banana splits?
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︎ Nov 02 2019
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
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︎ Nov 11 2019
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana
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︎ Sep 26 2019
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
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︎ Nov 13 2019
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
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︎ Nov 01 2019
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