Why didn't the lemon juice like the soap?

because he was basic

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/giggizard
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2021
🚨︎ report
It’s illegal to sell stocks from inside a bath of sparkling apple juice

Because that would be in cider trading

πŸ‘︎ 90
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/canyuse
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
🚨︎ report
So I used to work at an orange juice factory...

But I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PrimaryStrict
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
🚨︎ report
- I once got fired from a canned juice company.
  • I once got fired from a canned juice company. Apparently I couldn't concentrate.
πŸ‘︎ 114
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ok-Salamander7965
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
I got a bottle of organic apple juice that said β€œconcentrate from Turkey”

Wouldn’t that make it... turkey juice?

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AfterEffectserror
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between French fries and orange juice?

You can make orange juice out of orange, but not French fries out of French

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
🚨︎ report
I had this massive piece of steak on the barbecue last night. As it was cooking, the smell of the juices made my mouth salivate.

I had a thought. I wondered if vegetarians had the same effect, while mowing their lawn.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
🚨︎ report
My job application was rejected by a juice company...

I shouldn’t have mentioned my solid experience.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call some who steals a glass of juice on a cruise?

A pirate of the Hi-Cs!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/eat-rainbows
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
🚨︎ report
I knew what apple juice tasted like before I even tried it.

I had in-cider information.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MelkorHimself
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
When I open the fridge after a long day at work only to find water, milk and juice, I start to feel like David Gilmour.

"How I wish... How I wish you were beer."

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/logansworth
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Get him some Juice
πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoyPaul66
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.

Tomorrow they will give a special press release.

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cosh1990
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
You had to use rennet to curdle the milk for making Ricotta, not lemon juice!

This is not the right whey.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Every December, I really like making an emulsion of egg yolks, melted butter and lemon juice.

So its guaranteed to be a Happy Hollandaise

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ajellysandwich
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Wife dropped a jar of pickles upon opening the fridge; glass and pickle juice went all over the kitchen floor.

My 10 year old son: Don't worry, it's not a big dill. My wife while looking at me: -.-

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ProfessorPeterr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't think about buying any stupid pure freshly squeezed juice right now.

I need to concentrate.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pirateahoj
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't use my laptop anymore because someone spilled apple juice on it.

It was a cider attack.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PHATstuFF21
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I once saw a guy staring at a can of orange juice, and when I asked him why he was doing that,

he said, "because it says 'concentrate' on the can."

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/agsederq
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My doctor recommended exercise to slim down as well as some orange juice for vitamins

It’s the weight and c approach I guess

πŸ‘︎ 234
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/seatheous
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call juice with no ice in it?

Ju

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/D3V1L420
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
New album by Juice Springsteen
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SnideOctopus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What if someone made raisins with juice in them

That would be grape

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/That1GuyPrivate
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I replaced the milk in the milk carton with lemon juice

They were really sour about it

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Angoram
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
β€œDad, how do we make orange juice from the concentrate?” -5yo

β€œWe use 3 cans of water to distract it.”

β€œWhat?”

β€œYa it should lose focus soon enough.”

the eye rolls from my partner were fantastic.

This happened tonight. We were talking about β€œconcentrate” because they read me silly jokes from their school milk cartons like β€œwhy does X stare at the can of OJ? Because it says β€˜concentrate’.” So we were talking about what the word meant.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/8bagels
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
TIFU by telling a joke while overfilling a pitcher with that hawaiian juice drink...

I forgot the punch line

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/uneeq33
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
how do you convince meat juice out of a bovine?

You consomme out of him.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StretchSmiley
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I was asked why I love to clean lemon juice from windows, to which I replied

β€œIt’s easy peasy lemon squeegee”

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mustacius
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is it harder for Orange Juice to slide across a floor than apple juice?

Pulp Friction

πŸ‘︎ 138
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kerlandays
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My clippers ran out of juice half way through shaving so I started to beat the heck out of em...

...for extra battery

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/clouc1223
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a mislabeled orange juice container?

Pulp fiction.

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?

Lack of concentration.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the lemon juice say to the baking soda?

Ya basic!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jspittman
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I inhaled my juice when I read this, now I'm coffin'
πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cooldude075
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to a dinner party yesterday. The hosts are chefs and made all kinds of food, buffet style. I arrived early had some hors d'oeuvres. Then I realized I was thirsty, and I wanted to try the mixed juice drink. At this point everyone else was getting food, so I walked right up and got a cup...
πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bb5x24
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Concentrated orange juice
πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PleaseStabMe
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when 13 preschoolers have just had their juice?

A Daycare's Buzzin'

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bamugo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the orange become juice?

He couldn't handle the pressure.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MisterAldona
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Windows made from apple juice
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
🚨︎ report
The orange juice was studying very hard

It looked concentrated

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NOTfromMARS007
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I got canned from a Orange juice factory...

Just couldn't concentrate.

πŸ‘︎ 165
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.

Tomorrow they will give a special press conference

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cosh1990
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to work at the orange juice factory..

I got fired because I couldn't concentrate...

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VentilatedEgg
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I got fired from the frozen orange juice factory today.

I just couldn’t concentrate.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Popepepe
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2018
🚨︎ report
I got fired from the orange juice factory because

I couldn't concentrate

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theMasterDerpy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.