Why is milk taller than you?

Because it's always pasteurize

I am so, so sorry

πŸ‘︎ 654
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GarageAromatic
πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow that can't produce milk?

An udder failure

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hotinthakitchen1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
🚨︎ report
Do you know why it's called almond milk?

Because nobody would buy it if it was called nut juice.

πŸ‘︎ 133
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AfricanWarrior96
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on earth?

It's pasteurized before you even see it.

πŸ‘︎ 166
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ilustradongindio
πŸ“…︎ May 03
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?

Boo-bee

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nice-Impress-2794
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
🚨︎ report
What type of milk did Moses put in his coffee?

Amend milk

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you drink milk

A moostache

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hackermanz24
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
🚨︎ report
How do you milk sheep ?

Release another iPhone.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 21
🚨︎ report
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...

He told me "No whey in Hell!"

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CalmingVisionary
πŸ“…︎ May 29
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me to go get some milk

My wife: can you go out and get a gallon of milk, if they have oranges get 5

Me: *comes home with 5 gallons of milk"

My wife:???

Me: they had oranges...

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/loot98
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13
🚨︎ report
My friend told me he doesn’t like milk.

How dairy

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/superuglypotate
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
What is the hardest part of making skimmed milk?

Throwing the cows across the lake πŸ₯

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RodimusMajor84
πŸ“…︎ May 09
🚨︎ report
What kind of bees produce milk?

Boo-bees

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brutalanglosaxon
πŸ“…︎ May 27
🚨︎ report
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...

...it would be called buttery.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/No152249
πŸ“…︎ May 21
🚨︎ report
Don't use raw milk to make butter

It's not worth the whisk

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pointyhead19
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?

An OvalTeen

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MakeLoveNotWar_69
πŸ“…︎ May 09
🚨︎ report
One astronaut says to another β€œI can’t find any milk for my coffee”

The other astronaut replies β€œIn space no one can, here use cream”

πŸ‘︎ 281
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OwenJthomas89
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
🚨︎ report
What's Bernie Sanders favorite milk? not 1%

What's Bernie Sanders favorite milk?

not 1%

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
🚨︎ report
What kind of bees like breast milk?

Babies

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Derpvboii
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28
🚨︎ report
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…

"What about the udder one?"

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between milk and yogurt?

Yogurt comes from a more sophisticated culture.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Futch1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14
🚨︎ report
As kids, dad used to take his glass of milk and wave it across our face before taking a sip because...

He likes his milk "past-your-eyes"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/haymalb
πŸ“…︎ May 03
🚨︎ report
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.

That way, it's a slam dunk.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ May 03
🚨︎ report
Gonna milk this one for all its worth
πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mister_Cranch
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
🚨︎ report
Where does the mortitain buy his milk?

The coroner store

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NateTheSimpleOne
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26
🚨︎ report
What did the man say when he found out the milk man was sleeping with his wife?

How dairy!

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tendiemancan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
🚨︎ report
A man threatend me with milk, chocolate and cheese

how dairy (dare he)

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AdWide6476
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
🚨︎ report
Can you see in a big vat of milk?

Not once it's past yer eyes!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jgpitre
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04
🚨︎ report
I once took a trip to Seattle on a plane in which the stewards only served candy made when peanut butter meets milk chocolate...

I don't know how far this Reese eating airline goes...

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
🚨︎ report
I just had a guy throw milk at me

How dairy ?

πŸ‘︎ 235
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked fellow astronauts on ISS for some milk to put in my coffee but was informed I can't have any.

They said: "In space nobody can. Here, use cream"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 10
🚨︎ report
Soy milk

Is the only food that tells you what it is.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icebox7
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
🚨︎ report
I took a group tour of a milk factory ...

While inside, I took a deep breath and said, "Ahh, nice dairy air!"

The woman next to me strongly disagreed. She didn't have to smack me though ...

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kyle1775
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18
🚨︎ report
Why did the milk glasses listen to the milk carton?

Because the carton was a litre.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/agfwouldbecool
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23
🚨︎ report
This morning, the milkman threw milk at my face

How dairy!

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Virasman
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
🚨︎ report
What do you call two Milk Duds fused together?

Milk Dudes!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VerbalAcrobatics
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21
🚨︎ report
I saw a whole shelf of soy milk at the store the other day.

It's great that they've enabled milk to properly introduce themselves to customers.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flashblazer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04
🚨︎ report
I tried wild ox milk

Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShadeTreeMechanix
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02
🚨︎ report
I was at the store yesterday and some dude threw a jug of milk at my head

How dairy

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/I-have-lysdexia
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Farmer milks his profits from cows

How dairy

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SwampFox525
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce milk?

A milk dud.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CMDR-Hooker
πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
The only thing that bothers me about Almond Milk:

It’s nut milk.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06
🚨︎ report
What kind of bees make milk?

Boo-bees.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rabbitsheepp
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
🚨︎ report
Milk is good

But it can be butter

πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/joeytherealking
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
🚨︎ report
Milk is good

But it could be butter

πŸ‘︎ 235
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MJGZXP
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow that can't produce milk?

An udder failure

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rooner_Spism
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30
🚨︎ report
How do you milk sheep ?

Release another IPhone.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22
🚨︎ report

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