I go to the store and buy 2 eggs, a loaf of bread, and some milk. The cashier says “you must be single” and I respond with “how did you know?”
She responded, “ because you are ugly!”
Which type of bee produces milk?
"Son, what're you drinking" "Soy milk"
"Hola milk, soy es tu padre!"
What kind of Bees produce milk?
Wife: Can you pick up milk?
Husband: Lifting Gallon yeah
Wife: No, I mean at the store.
Husband: I imagine it would weigh the same there...
A man assaulted me with milk, cream and butter !
My son just threw a milk carton at me
What kind of bees make milk?
The doctor insisted I take a milk bath, so I asked her if it need to be pasteurized...
She said no, just above the knees.
Some guy threw milk at me today.
Did you hear about the corruption scandal in the milk company?
Turns out they were skimming a bit off the top.
I replaced the milk in the milk carton with lemon juice
They were really sour about it
How often does the Japanese supermarket restock their milk supply?
Did you hear about the milk that went to the moon?
It was Legen-dairy.
A programmer's wife tells him: "While you're at the store, get some milk".
Did you hear that they genetically engineered a milk cow to have no teats?
It was udderly pointless.
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce milk
It's so hot outside that my cow started giving powdered milk
Grocery Bagger: Do you want the milk in a bag?
Dad: That's okay, just leave it in the carton.
I burst into the kitchen and shouted at my wife, "Honey! Whatever you do, do NOT let them take your temperature on your forehead when you go into the supermarket!! It erases your memory!! I went in for bread and milk like you asked..."
"...and came out with two cases of beer!!!"
There's probably an easier to pour milk out of a carton that doesn't involve ripping the top off and spilling it everywhere,
but I refuse to cut corners
You have milk on your lip...
I have a farmer friend who heats his milk products to 212 degrees Fahrenheit using cow chips...
Yep. It's called pasture-ized milk.
Cashier at Publix asked if we wanted the milk in a bag...
I told her to please leave it in the jug.
My wife eye-rolled SO hard and then apologized to the cashier :D
The cashier was laughing though, so I'll take the win.
i'll go get milk
i'll be back in 10 minutes
There's a vegan activist in my neighborhood; she's been replacing everyone's dairy milk with alternatives.
What is a tea made using breast milk called?
How do they milk oats?
So my family and I were watching TV and an ad for oat milk came up.
I asked out loud "how do they milk oats?"
My stepsister responded "they crush them until they cry"
I instinctively said "they do that with grapes too but they only wine"
What do you call a farm when none of the cows give milk?
My dad told me to look in the fridge and check out the milk that went bad
The missus asked me if I thought of other women so i threw a glass of milk at her.
That's the last time we are ever playing truth or dairy.
One astronaut says to another “I can’t find any milk for my coffee”
The other astronaut replies “In space no one can, here use cream”
With the onset of age, I'm forgetting really simple things, like the fact that cheese is made from milk.
Previously it would've a curd to me.
Mom was a milk maid and dad worked the meat grinder at the local butcher. When they got married they took their vows very seriously.
They really meant it was for butter or for wurst.
What do you get when you make tea with some breast milk?
What do you call bees that can produce milk?
Did you know the Roman armies sold milk products wherever they went?
People still talk about it today. It was Legion Dairy.
My 4 year old cousin told me that cows make milk. So naturally I told her the brown cows make chocolate milk. And her jaw hit the floor. I then told her that pink cows make strawberry milk and then she caught me in my lie and said...
Cashier: would you like your milk in a bag?
Me: no, leave it in the jug.
What kind of milk do you get from footless cows?
We have a magnetic alphabet on our fridge. The other day my daughter grabbed the letter T and put it in her in milk.
She looked at me and said, “I’m having a T party.”
Our grocery delivery driver told us one of the milk cartons got damaged and leaked into the bag.
My 15yr old son picked up the first bag, which had a long vegetable sticking out and said "I've found the leek, dad."
Proud dad moment.
Some bloke just threw a glass of milk at me...
What sort of bees make milk?
Why was the milk so relaxed?
It was chilling in the fridge.
If I ever made an epic company for milk and cheese, I'd call it legend-dairy.
I've just been attacked by the milkman. He threw milk at me.
What insects produce milk?
Did you hear the story about a glass of milk that saved the world once?
A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.
The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"
He replied, "They had avocados."
Why can’t the club footed nazi drink milk?
Because he lacks toes and tolerance
What’s the hardest part about making skimmed milk?
Throwing the cows across a lake.
I love almond milk.
It’s unlike any udder milk.
What do you call illegal, fermented milk?
Milk has freedom of thought when angry.
They just want to get out of container when they're boiling.
What do you call a cow that cannot produce milk?
Have you ever tried to milk a cow that has been cut in half?
Why do some Middle Easterners like sour milk?
What kind of bee makes milk?
Typing the word milk is alright.
That’s all I got and I did it in like four different posts.
I regret nothing.
Among the different forms of milk, my favourite is when it is churned.
Once a man assaulted me with milk, butter, and cheese.
What type of Bees make Milk?
I have to go to the Dam Store again. Forgot the milk
I’ve got milk that has 100% calcium
What's the most difficult thing about producing skimmed milk?
Throwing the cow across a lake.
My brother has me worried. Any time he drives by a milk farm, he pulls over and leaves a few dollars on the fence.
Doesn’t he know cow tipping is illegal?
"hey you forgot to get milk."
"Sorry I must've skimmed past it."
So regular bees make honey, but what type of bees make milk?
Where is the best place to get camel milk?
Straight from the Dromedairy.
Dad, is this your milk?
No sweety. It's cows milk.
What happens if a cow drinks her own milk?
It comes in at one end, and out the udder
When the first guy drank cow milk, society was probably like, "ughh, how dairy."
Was looking for some coconut milk, wasn't disappointed
What do two people have when they both like to boil leaves in water, add milk, and put it into the freezer?
What kind of bees produce milk ?
If a cow doesn’t produce milk, it’s both an udder failure, and a milk dud.
Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth;
It's pasteurized before you even see it.
Milk is the fastest dairy product.
It’s pasteurized before you ever see it.
Why did Hitler only drink milk for breakfast?
Why was the milk scared for the cheese?
I was at the museum and saw a painting of a bowl, with milk and some kind of food inside.
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when I got it there was too much milk and not enough coffee
Better latte than never I suppose
what type of bees produce milk?
Why did the milk fall over?
It's difficult to stand when you lactose!
What do you calling it when your in milk up to you're eybrows
Pasteurize (past your eyes)
A programmer gets sent to the store by his wife. His wife says, “Get a gallon of milk, and if they have eggs, get a dozen.”
The programmer returns home with 12 gallons of milk and says, “They had eggs.”
edit: I know guys, I know, it’s supposed to be 13, I messed up the wording, please forgive me
What kind of Bees produce milk instead of honey?
Where does all Canadian milk come from?
What kind of bees make milk ?
Did you know electronics stores sell milk?
Mine says it's from Best By.
The cashier asked if I wanted my milk in a bag
I told her to just leave it in the jug