Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
I am so, so sorry
What do you call a cow that can't produce milk?
Do you know why it's called almond milk?
Because nobody would buy it if it was called nut juice.
Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on earth?
It's pasteurized before you even see it.
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
What type of milk did Moses put in his coffee?
What do you get when you drink milk
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
My wife asked me to go get some milk
My wife: can you go out and get a gallon of milk, if they have oranges get 5
Me: *comes home with 5 gallons of milk"
My wife:???
Me: they had oranges...
My friend told me he doesn’t like milk.
What is the hardest part of making skimmed milk?
Throwing the cows across the lake 🥁
What kind of bees produce milk?
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
One astronaut says to another “I can’t find any milk for my coffee”
The other astronaut replies “In space no one can, here use cream”
What's Bernie Sanders favorite milk? not 1%
What's Bernie Sanders favorite milk?
not 1%
What kind of bees like breast milk?
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
What’s the difference between milk and yogurt?
Yogurt comes from a more sophisticated culture.
As kids, dad used to take his glass of milk and wave it across our face before taking a sip because...
He likes his milk "past-your-eyes"
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
Gonna milk this one for all its worth
Where does the mortitain buy his milk?
What did the man say when he found out the milk man was sleeping with his wife?
A man threatend me with milk, chocolate and cheese
Can you see in a big vat of milk?
Not once it's past yer eyes!
I once took a trip to Seattle on a plane in which the stewards only served candy made when peanut butter meets milk chocolate...
I don't know how far this Reese eating airline goes...
I just had a guy throw milk at me
I asked fellow astronauts on ISS for some milk to put in my coffee but was informed I can't have any.
They said: "In space nobody can. Here, use cream"
Soy milk
Is the only food that tells you what it is.
I took a group tour of a milk factory ...
While inside, I took a deep breath and said, "Ahh, nice dairy air!"
The woman next to me strongly disagreed. She didn't have to smack me though ...
Why did the milk glasses listen to the milk carton?
Because the carton was a litre.
This morning, the milkman threw milk at my face
What do you call two Milk Duds fused together?
I saw a whole shelf of soy milk at the store the other day.
It's great that they've enabled milk to properly introduce themselves to customers.
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
I was at the store yesterday and some dude threw a jug of milk at my head
Farmer milks his profits from cows
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce milk?
The only thing that bothers me about Almond Milk:
What kind of bees make milk?
What do you call a cow that can't produce milk?
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