People who make dairy puns have it really hard.

They are, after all, a margarine-alized community.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ivegot_back
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01
🚨︎ report
Production costs are really high in the dairy business

A lot of expenses are in curd.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KILLA2-0
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19
🚨︎ report
How dairy
πŸ‘︎ 91
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bloodywolfeyes
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02
🚨︎ report
My dairy farmer friend is always complaining about how little money he makes.

I think he’s just milking it.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12
🚨︎ report
There's a vegan activist in my neighborhood; she's been replacing everyone's dairy milk with alternatives.

I soya do it.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/alexdavidwright
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21
🚨︎ report
This is a DAIRY problem for supermarkets all around the world
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lloo69
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
If I ever made an epic company for milk and cheese, I'd call it legend-dairy.
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Influenz-B
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27
🚨︎ report
I love watching dairy products grow up

You get to watch their lives flash pasteurize.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/irbinator
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
🚨︎ report
Dairy Queen’s sign in there shop. β€œRidiculous” but as RiDQulous
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
🚨︎ report
legend dairy
πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonlanderson
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend lost his job at the dairy farm because of his erratic behaviour.

He was a danger to himself and udders.

πŸ‘︎ 711
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
When the first guy drank cow milk, society was probably like, "ughh, how dairy."

Dairy = dare he

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Death_By_Pun
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
My buddy gets all the girls. I watched him work once. He approached a lady and said, "girl, you remind me of a thick, creamy beverage made from raw fruit, vegetables, and sometimes dairy products, typically pureed using a blender!"

He's such a smoothie talker.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03
🚨︎ report
Milk is the fastest dairy product.

It’s pasteurized before you ever see it.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boyleolio
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
🚨︎ report
The air at a dairy

Smells like a cow's derriere

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dmdeemer
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
🚨︎ report
My friend got fired from his job at the dairy farm because of his erratic behaviour.

He was considered to be a danger to himself and udders.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
My dairy farmer uncle died leaving written legal instruction for me to inherit a single gallon of cheese production byproduct. Makes sense, because...

Where there's a will, there's a whey.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DreadMoor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the dairy farm with mad cow disease?

It was udder chaos

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mozzatits
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
apple dairy product
πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/UnholyPotatoes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I was traveling past the dairy when my friend says...

Ahhh the sweet smell of derrier.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
🚨︎ report
A man threw cheese at me and I thought that’s not mature of him. He came along again and this time he threw a pint of milk at me. HOW DAIRY
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JackTMJones
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a movie about dairy products the other day.

It was really cheesy.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BigOlDisaster
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Wife and I were driving past a dairy farm, and all she could smell was manure

I guess she prefers a clean dairy air

*edit. This actually happened. She almost tipped the car her eyes rolled so hard.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SalmonGram
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
🚨︎ report
At work talking about an accounting firm that does the books for some dairy farms...

I interrupted the conversation and said "you mean the acCOWntants?"

This was over a month ago and I still proudly think about that joke.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Delds04
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
🚨︎ report
A friend and I were driving past a dairy.

The typical fragrance was in the air and he said,"Ahh,the sweet smell of dairy air"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
🚨︎ report
It seems like there's a dairy thief in my area

People keep knocking on my door asking if I've found cheeses.

I just slam the door in their faces. I guess I'm a little lactose intolerant.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ElZoof
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Out of all the dairy products, cheese is the most humble

They are very grateful

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
They say you shouldn't mix seafood with dairy, so sorry if this one is cheesy.
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/michilio
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
🚨︎ report
This legen-dairy text I received earlier tonight
πŸ‘︎ 793
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LOD2001
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2017
🚨︎ report
I was telling my friend about this dairy-free protein powder I found.

And he said "no whey!"

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Punk_Rock_Chef
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
🚨︎ report
How do bakeries that sell dairy products advertise themselves?

With cheesy buns.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/roppis1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the girl stop eating meat and dairy products?

She vegan to feel guilty about it.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend can’t eat dairy without his prosthetic feet.

He’s lack-toes intolerant

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DandyFB
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What type of dairy cattle do they get milk for Swiss cheese?

Holy cow!

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SmellyRapscallion
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend lost his cow milking job at the dairy farm because of his erratic behavior.

He was a danger to himself and udders.

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dairy cow that can’t produce milk?

An udder failure

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/uncleratchet
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Dear dairy, I can't stop thinking about ice cream, cheese, and butter

Crap, Dear diary...

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jskoker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad doesn’t like working down on the dairy farm.

But he can't find an udder job.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend and I did some cow/dairy themed puns and I hit a dinger at the end.
πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Claus-T-Haler
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2018
🚨︎ report
My dairy farmer friend is always complaining about his low profit margins.

I think he’s milking it.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call burnt bread that can't consume dairy?

Black toast intolerant

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MF62SW
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I told my wife she can't go gluten-free *and* dairy-free

That's the bread and butter!

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ign1fy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend has an unhealthy obsession with broiled bread due to not being able to consume dairy,

I think he lacks toast intolerance.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mellothewise
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do dairy farmers perform surgery in pairs?

They like to cow-operate.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/marvinli
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
🚨︎ report
My dairy farmer friend is always complaining about his low wages.

To be honest, I think he’s milking it.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Have you heard of the dairy farm uprising?

It’s utterly amoosing... sorry for MILKING it.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Corn_11
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Saw a guy pulling on this poor cow's tits in public. How dairy!
πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mub
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Who tells the best jokes down on the farm, Dairy farmers or Maize growers?

Maize growers - their jokes are always corn-ear.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the farmer exclaim when the ducks got into his dairy farm?

Cheese and quackers!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brainsonastick
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Why couldn’t the dairy farmer find his way home?

He lost his whey.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wimple007
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
🚨︎ report
My son, who can't take dairy products, threw a tantrum this morning because we forgot to get bread.

He lacked toast and tolerance.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/17scenes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I prefer dairy-based protein powders

I think they're whey better than the alternatives

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CryptoReaper5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I was dating a woman who owned a dairy [OC]

She loved to work her dairy soil, but I really loved her dairy air.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hblask
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2018
🚨︎ report
I just accepted a job offer at a dairy company

My dad sent me 3 texts

It appears that you are mooooooving on. I hope you milk all you can out of this experience. Cow are you feeling about this job change?

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tessifer_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2018
🚨︎ report
I wanted to surprise my wife by buying a dairy farm...

She had a cow when I told her.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Devcon4
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Refined starches and dairy products...

are my bread and butter

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Arebee936
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
🚨︎ report
This protein powder is completely dairy-free.

No whey!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChristianGeek
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the dairy cow do for Halloween?

The Muenster mash.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HTreecko
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Any of you guys seen the movie about the haunted dairy product?

It’s called paranormal activia

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/f33nan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend is a dairy farmer and he loves to tell jokes

But they're usually really cheesy.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bryanBr
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did Hagrid say when he went to Dairy Queen?

β€œDo you want a Blizzard β€˜arry?”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BuddyHemphill
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
🚨︎ report
My gym buddy told me he’s going dairy-free.

When I asked if he could still have his favorite protein supplement on his diet, he said, β€œUnfortunately, there’s no whey.”

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zephyrcoco
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2018
🚨︎ report
I can’t condone the consumption of dairy.

I was raised lactose intolerant.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WhiteWalterBlack
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2018
🚨︎ report
What’s the dance of dairy products?

The milkshake

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/forkingbread
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
🚨︎ report
A man just assaulted me with milk, butter and cheese! How dairy!
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2017
🚨︎ report
Try to figure out this pun. I dairy you! i.reddituploads.com/de848…
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tiggidytom
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2016
🚨︎ report
I could live off of just dairy and wheat products

It's my bread and butter.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Inspector_Robert
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dairy cow that can't produce any milk?

An udder failure.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dirkmer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2017
🚨︎ report
What did the very unorthodox dairy factory manager say to his security manager named Shaun who was very good at his job?

"Nothing here gets past-your-eyes-eh-Shaun?"

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/limeadeboi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2017
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about the new probiotic dairy product that you can make using a high-end gaming computer and 3D printer?

Geek Yogurt

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/acemask
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2018
🚨︎ report
My favorite dairy-based exercise regimen is yoga...

Sorry, I guess that one was a bit of a stretch.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/binaryfruit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2013
🚨︎ report
My dream job is to be a dairy farmer

It would be uderly amazing

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDestroyer575
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Arabian dairy farmer?

He was a milk sheikh.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2017
🚨︎ report
When making non-dairy butter

There is little margarine for error

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lunaticmoose36
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2017
🚨︎ report
Regarding the diets of dairy cows.

I grew up in Vermont. Around my town were plenty of dairy farms, inviting the always wonderful manure aroma. An aroma that nearly forced my father to inhale deeply through his nose, saying, "Ah, fresh Vermont air!"

That's an excellent Dad one liner, as are most dad jokes, but he had another great one that I'm getting to.

You see, the hay bails we saw growing up in Vermont were mostly the cube variety. Hay bailing technology at the time created cubes of hay, so that's what dotted the fields they'd graze in.

As we grew older, we starting noticing the now more common round bails of hay. Dad was not pleased.

I asked him what the problem was or, at least, what his problem was with the round bails. The best jokes are set up when you ask for them.

So, he tells me. New farming technology allowed the round bails to be created more efficiently. They used less fuel in the bailers, took less passes on the field to gather the hay. They used less twine, and even though they didn't fil

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/estomasi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2013
🚨︎ report
Today at the Dairy I was standing at the cow barn and a woman turned to me and asked, "Do they milk the male cows too." I answered, "only if they are lucky"
πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CthulhuBread
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2014
🚨︎ report
I got dad joked by my manager on the dairy farm I work at

It was a busy day we had a whole bunch baby cows born today and our calve pens are now completely full:

Me: If we get any more calves this barn is going to turn into a mad house...

Manager: Yea any more babies and it will be complete and udder madness

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nickster790
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2015
🚨︎ report
Driving past a dairy farm.

Mum: "Do you think it's abandoned?"

Dad: "Looks dairy-lict to me."

You could feel the pride radiating from him.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hypercinth
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2013
🚨︎ report
What's the first thing you smell on a French dairy farm?

dairy air

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HardlyNetworking
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2016
🚨︎ report
xpost from /r/writingprompts: A poorly-disguised escaped dairy cow has worked at an ice cream parlor... but now her bovine related puns is slowly starting to give her away.
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GoldenApple23
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2016
🚨︎ report
I'm working on a book about the dairy consumption of prehistoric creatures..

It's called "The Whey of the Dinosaur."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/blanco4prez
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2016
🚨︎ report
I work in the dairy department at a local grocery store in my town and my dad is a Spanish professor

Maybe Soy Milk is just plain milk introducing it self in Spanish. Yo soy milk

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MasterQuE3F95
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2015
🚨︎ report
Today, we drove past Dairy Queen and my dad spurts out, "What is Homer Simpsons favorite blizzard?" "Cookie DOH!"
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cheeseturd102
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2014
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't Dairy Queen get pregnant?

She was married to Mr. Softee

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/topane
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2013
🚨︎ report
My friend got fired from his job at the dairy farm because of his erratic behaviour.

He was a danger to himself and udders.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What did Hagrid say when he went to Dairy Queen?

β€œDo you want a blizzard β€˜arry?”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BuddyHemphill
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
🚨︎ report

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