One of the butter puns I've made with a perfect setup
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vetusexternus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
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πŸ‘€︎ u/F34tured
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2015
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butter pun than yours

I saw a girl trying to spread butter on a bagel with a plastic spatula earlier today in my dining hall. She was struggling a little bit, so I leaned over and told her that if she just used a metal knife, she'd be able to spread that butter

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fingernail
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2011
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My wife insisted on pouring flour into the melted butter.

I told her she would roux the day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PhantomBanker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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Once a man assaulted me with milk, cheese and butter

How dairy

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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"Did you hear the rumor about butter?"

"Well, I'm not going to spread it!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PersonWalker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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I saw a man at the supermarket today, throw all the milk, butter, cream and yoghurt off the shelves, in a rage.

I thought "How dairy!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/B-man44
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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Every December, I really like making an emulsion of egg yolks, melted butter and lemon juice.

So its guaranteed to be a Happy Hollandaise

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ajellysandwich
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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I can't believevits not butter
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bloodywolfeyes
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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Not a Dad, but my Dad made this joke. "What do you call Jack the Ripper with a butter knife?"

A dull evening.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/J-Ray15
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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Have you heard the rumor about butter?

Well I'm not going to spread it

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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I have a butter joke

but it will slip out of your mind

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rohan20201234
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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Due to the pandemic, we should all avoid buying butter.

Together we can stop the spread.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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Did you hear the joke about butter?

Well , I'm not going to spread it.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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I recently switched from using mayonnaise to using butter for making grilled cheese sandwiches. My wife said she liked them more with the butter, but kindly asked me if it was more work this way?

I answered: "It is, but only margarinely more."

Note: this really happened.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LemonAdeAid
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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I have an idea for a new product: a butter substitute mixed with an aphrodisiac.

I'm calling it Margarine of Eros.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pyranders
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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Why did the boy throw the butter out the window?

He wanted to see a butter-fly!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MangoAway17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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A man assaulted me with milk, cream and butter !

How dairy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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This Halloween, I decided to go as a gigantic butter knife.

I was a super spreader.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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Did you hear the rumor about butter?

I really shouldn't be spreading it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBigReeeeee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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Wanna hear a rumor about peanut butter?

Nevermind, I’d rather not spread it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DatHappyGamer96
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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Have you heard the rumor about butter?

Nvm I shouldn’t spread it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LaughingHyena12
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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β€œBack in the day...” my dad started to say. β€œYou could walk into a grocery store with $2 in your pocket and walk out with a loaf of bread, a dozen eggs and a bit of butter as well. But today...” he lamented...

β€œWherever you go, there are those darn cameras!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
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What do you call a man who was force fed chocolate and peanut butter then chopped up?

Reese’s Pieces

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πŸ‘€︎ u/firepower98
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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Don't even think about challenging my French butter sauce...

You will roux the day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
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What do you say when your wife is so envious of your peanut butter obsession she wants to put it on herself in the bedroom?

DON'T BE JELLY!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bearnakedgamer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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Did you hear the rumor about butter ?

Well, I''m not going to spread it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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Did any of you hear the rumor about butter??

Never mind, I shouldn’t spread it. You know, my mom doesn’t like when I tell jokes about butter but... ah heck, I’m already on a roll!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaden_strommer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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Did you hear the rumor about peanut butter?

I don’t want to spread it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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Did you hear the rumor about butter?

I’m not going to spread it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/acetwo2k5
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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You hear the gossip about butter?

Actually I’m not gonna spread it

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
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My girlfriend usually has peanut butter toast for breakfast, but this morning we were out of bread, and she’s been grouchy all day.

I never knew she was lack-toast intolerant.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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Mashed up dates, chocolate chips, peanut butter, granola, almonds....delicious homemade granola bars
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
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Have you guys heard that new rumor going around about butter...?

no...? Well I don't think I should be spreading it...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/h_cordeiro8
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
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The 5 stages of butter
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thinkingamer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
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I would like to share you this joke about peanut butter but I won’t.

Because you might spread it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tonheatz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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I asked the chef for butter for my naan and he gave me regular old butter. I went back and said, "hey, I may not look Indian, but I really wanted ghee." He told me rather rudely, "Well, next time you should clarify that."

I told him, "well, this time, you should."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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I wrote some new jokes and they’re all about butter.

They’re margarinely funny.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shimmywaffles
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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What did the Monk say when he saw Jesus’s face in fake butter

I CAN’T BELIEVE ITS NOT BUDDHA!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dogzilla615
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
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My great uncle died making butter on his farm last week.

It was a really unfortunate churn of events.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trailsend85
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
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Did you hear the rumour about butter?

Well,I’m not gonna spread it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NicJ20
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
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Ah finally. I have the almighty peanut butter.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The-TrueNugget
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
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Did you hear the rumor about butter?

Well, I'm not going to spread it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/danuser8
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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Did you hear the rumor about butter?

Well, I'm not going to spread it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/furry_boi_420
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
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Did you hear the rumor about butter?

Well, I'm not going to spread it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Odinnextgen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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Did you hear the rumor about butter?

Well, I'm not going to spread it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dani_SF
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
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Once a man assaulted me with milk, butter, and cheese.

How dairy.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigPoon23
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
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