One of the butter puns I've made with a perfect setup
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vetusexternus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
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butter pun than yours

I saw a girl trying to spread butter on a bagel with a plastic spatula earlier today in my dining hall. She was struggling a little bit, so I leaned over and told her that if she just used a metal knife, she'd be able to spread that butter

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fingernail
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2011
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πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/F34tured
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2015
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Have you heard the joke about butter?

I don't wanna spread it.

Courtesy of my 9 year old.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pwa09
πŸ“…︎ May 14
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My wife keeps telling me to stop pretending to be butter.

But I'm on a roll now.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
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I can’t believe it’s not butter!
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tobias_drundridge
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
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What do you call it when you only have a little butter left and you use it all on one last piece of toast?

Butter, then nothing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SubstantialBelly6
πŸ“…︎ May 27
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I always like to keep a jar of peanut butter in the car when I travel on a busy freeway ...

just in case there’s a traffic jam.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/well_I_swan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that rumor about butter?

Well, I’m not going to spread it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/plebloo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27
🚨︎ report
Have you heard the rumor about butter?

I really shouldn't spread it...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaleoGamer
πŸ“…︎ May 07
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I got some butter today from my friend's cow, but it tasted just like my own!

I called it my butter from another udder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/False_Grit
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
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Don't use raw milk to make butter

It's not worth the whisk

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pointyhead19
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
🚨︎ report
The aliens returned with a butter force.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/D0NW0N
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17
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My wife insisted on pouring flour into the melted butter.

I told her she would roux the day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PhantomBanker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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Did you hear about the peanut butter factory that exploded?

The Reese’s was in pieces.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Captain_Cookiez
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
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Heard y’all like puns (flies were found dead, butter was found at the grocery store in the dairy isle)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Soflytaxidermy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07
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What kind of fish do you put on peanut butter sandwich?

A jellyfish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LgNBullseye
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
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Butter fly
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blakey_the_snakey
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22
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I once took a trip to Seattle on a plane in which the stewards only served candy made when peanut butter meets milk chocolate...

I don't know how far this Reese eating airline goes...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
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I decided to throw a block of butter off my roof today...

I guess i could say that i saw a butterfly

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
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The best bakers use real butter so . . . .

there is no margarine for error.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
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What do you call a lady's private parts made from sugar, butter and chocolate?

A Fudgina.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/darcys_beard
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
🚨︎ report
I was going to tell a butter joke

But the margarine for error was too big

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13
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I can't believevits not butter
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bloodywolfeyes
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you heard the rumor about butter?

If I told you, you might spread it around.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gloompoodle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24
🚨︎ report
Caught my kids throwing sticks of butter up in the air in our backyard.

They said they wanted to see butterflies!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lodiman77
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you eat too much peanut butter?

Reese’s feces

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElricGreywolf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
🚨︎ report
What did the Mandalorian say whist churning butter?

This is the whey...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MahlonMurder
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08
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Once a man assaulted me with milk, cheese and butter

How dairy

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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I recently switched from using mayonnaise to using butter for making grilled cheese sandwiches. My wife said she liked them more with the butter, but kindly asked me if it was more work this way?

I answered: "It is, but only margarinely more."

Note: this really happened.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LemonAdeAid
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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I saw a man at the supermarket today, throw all the milk, butter, cream and yoghurt off the shelves, in a rage.

I thought "How dairy!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/B-man44
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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Every December, I really like making an emulsion of egg yolks, melted butter and lemon juice.

So its guaranteed to be a Happy Hollandaise

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ajellysandwich
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Due to the pandemic, we should all avoid buying butter.

Together we can stop the spread.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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Not a Dad, but my Dad made this joke. "What do you call Jack the Ripper with a butter knife?"

A dull evening.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/J-Ray15
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a butter joke

but it will slip out of your mind

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rohan20201234
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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The 5 stages of butter
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thinkingamer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
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I have an idea for a new product: a butter substitute mixed with an aphrodisiac.

I'm calling it Margarine of Eros.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pyranders
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the rumor about butter?

I really shouldn't be spreading it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBigReeeeee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
β€œBack in the day...” my dad started to say. β€œYou could walk into a grocery store with $2 in your pocket and walk out with a loaf of bread, a dozen eggs and a bit of butter as well. But today...” he lamented...

β€œWherever you go, there are those darn cameras!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the boy throw the butter out the window?

He wanted to see a butter-fly!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MangoAway17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you heard that rumor about butter

Well I am not gonna spread it

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoulScripter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the rumor about butter?

Well I’m not going to spread it!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kferguson98
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the rumor about butter?

Well, I'm not going to spread it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sayan_dutta7
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the joke about butter?

Well, I’m not gonna spread it.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 25
🚨︎ report
"Did you hear the rumor about butter?"

"Well, I'm not going to spread it!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PersonWalker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
A man assaulted me with milk, cream and butter !

How dairy

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the joke about butter?

Well , I'm not going to spread it.

πŸ‘︎ 722
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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Have you heard the rumor about butter?

Well I'm not going to spread it

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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Have you heard the rumor about butter?

Nvm I shouldn’t spread it.

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LaughingHyena12
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report

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