What do you get when you eat too much peanut butter?
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︎ Jan 16 2021
Wanna hear a rumor about peanut butter?
Nevermind, Iβd rather not spread it.
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︎ Sep 25 2020
What do you call a man who was force fed chocolate and peanut butter then chopped up?
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︎ Oct 07 2020
What do you say when your wife is so envious of your peanut butter obsession she wants to put it on herself in the bedroom?
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︎ Sep 23 2020
My girlfriend usually has peanut butter toast for breakfast, but this morning we were out of bread, and sheβs been grouchy all day.
I never knew she was lack-toast intolerant.
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︎ Jun 04 2020
Mashed up dates, chocolate chips, peanut butter, granola, almonds....delicious homemade granola bars
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︎ Jun 12 2020
I would like to share you this joke about peanut butter but I wonβt.
Because you might spread it.
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︎ Jul 21 2020
Ah finally. I have the almighty peanut butter.
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︎ May 29 2020
What do you get when you cross Jelly, peanut butter, and bread?
This has two outcomes: a) person says what. b) person says sandwich
a) A sandwich! What did you think youβd get?
b) You know, you have no clue how many people say what!
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︎ Jul 26 2020
Whatβs got peanut butter, and flies laughing hysterically over the beach?
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︎ Jul 22 2020
My wife just yelled at the kids βwho got into the peanut butter
Me: probably a bunch of nuts
I was the only one who laughed.
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︎ Apr 04 2020
There's a rumour going around about peanut butter.
I don't want to spread it though.
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︎ Feb 19 2020
What do you get when you eat a peanut butter & baked bean sandwich?
A fart that sticks to the roof of your butt.
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︎ Apr 26 2020
My friend peanut butter called me today said he had great news about his job
Apparently he is on celery now!
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︎ May 09 2020
Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?
To go with the traffic jam.
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︎ Nov 02 2019
I'm starting a new line of nut-free peanut butter.
It's called "I can't believe it's nut butter"
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︎ Dec 29 2019
A jar of peanut butter needed an oil change
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︎ Jan 06 2020
What fish tastes best with peanut butter...
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︎ Jul 24 2019
I'm so proud of my son, for bringing bread and a jar of peanut butter to the truck show.
After all, this is MONSTER JAM!
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︎ Jan 31 2020
Thereβs a rumor going around about peanut butter.
But Iβm not gonna spread it.
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︎ Jul 25 2019
Today is national peanut butter day.
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︎ Jan 24 2019
Disappointing peanut butter...
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︎ Feb 01 2019
I saw a man using peanut butter as shaving cream to shave his testicals
I said, βWhat are you doing man, thatβs just nuts!β
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︎ Mar 29 2019
I brought peanut butter the the jam session
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︎ May 30 2019
I'm going to start a photo essay entitled "Images Of A Jar Of Peanut Butter In Unusual Locations"
I'll even submit it to National Geographic, they'll give me a full-page spread.
bonus peanut butter
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︎ Oct 30 2018
I hope whoever thought of this name for this peanut butter got a raise.
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︎ May 05 2018
Did you hear that GM has developed a car that runs on peanut butter?
They have a few kinks to work out.
It keeps sticking to the roof of the garage.
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︎ Feb 15 2019
If you ever stick your dick inside a peanut butter jar...
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︎ Jan 03 2019
I really want to tell you this joke about peanut butter...
...but I'm afraid you might spread it.
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︎ Mar 06 2018
Did you hear about the guy who was caught with his dick in a jar of peanut butter?
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︎ Jun 23 2017
I was making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich...
The peanut butter said, "Do you want to stick together?"
The jelly replied, "You're nuts!"
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︎ Aug 23 2018
βDaddy, make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich,β a four-year-old tells his father.
His father responds, βOk, youβre a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.β
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︎ Jan 04 2018
I asked my gf to make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
She responds, "it would be difficult to make you a pb&j because you are too big. You would be large peanut butter and jelly sandwich."
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︎ Feb 10 2017
Did you hear the rumor about peanut butter?
I donβt want to spread it.
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︎ Aug 13 2020
Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?
To go with the traffic jam.
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︎ Nov 10 2019
Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?
To go with the traffic jam!
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︎ Oct 19 2019
Why did someone smear peanut butter on the road?
To go with the traffic jam!
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︎ Sep 12 2019
Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?
To go with the traffic jam.
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︎ Nov 07 2019
Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
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︎ Apr 02 2019
Why did the girl put peanut butter on the road?
To go with the traffic jam.
(credit to keiffer)
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︎ Nov 11 2018
What kind of fish goes with peanut butter?
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︎ Sep 04 2018
What fish goes good with peanut butter?
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︎ Mar 29 2018
Why did Sally put peanut butter on the sidewalk?
To go with the traffic jam.
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︎ Apr 23 2017
"Hey dad, can you make me a peanut butter sandwich?"
"Poof, you're a peanut butter sandwich"
._.
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︎ Jan 06 2015
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